Exploring the Transformational Power of Meditation with Deidre Finn

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hi everyone. My name is Wendy Manganero and I am the host of the Wellness and Wealth podcast. I'm so happy to have you find us and if you could take a moment and hit that subscribe button, I'd really appreciate it. This is the podcast where we believe when you show up better for yourself as a woman business owner, you show up better for your business. So sit back, relax and learn from the practical to the woo-woo. How did best take care of you? Have a great day, stay blessed and leave a review when you're done listening to the show. Thanks so much. Hi everyone. Today we have the topic meditation and balancing the nervous system, and I'm here with special guest Deidre Finn, and I'm going to read her bio and then we're going to get right to it. Deidre is the owner of Finn physical therapy. She has been practicing for over 30 years. Deidre's specialty is treating the whole person using a holistic approach. Finn addresses the root cause of your issues and works with gentle, osteopathically based, hands-on techniques such as craniosacral therapy and myofascial release. Deidre practices midtown Manhattan, in the Hudson Valley. Deidre is a native New Yorker and loves the city, but also loves to go upstate changes, all things having to do with movement, especially hiking and Tai Chi. Welcome to the show, deidre Hi. Thank you so much for having me. I'm so glad that we're going to have this conversation, and I don't know if I told you I'm a North Jersey girl. I live in South Jersey now, but I grew up practically in the city because my family had businesses there, so I love Manhattan too.

Speaker 2: 1:38

Yeah, work hard play hard type of place, isn't it?

Speaker 1: 1:42

It is, but the holidays there are astoundingly beautiful. So we're going to talk about meditation today, which I love that topic as somebody who's done meditation for a long time and not somebody who it came easily to. I will self admit I know they talk about the monkey mind. I certainly had a monkey mind and I was like you can quiet your head, are you sure? For a long time before I really started to get to hang of it, and it's one of my favorite things to do, so I'm really glad that we're talking about this. As far as self-care goes, I'd love to know because there's meditation, there's so many varying types of them and how people do them, and so what does meditating mean to you?

Speaker 2: 2:18

Over the years I've tried lots of different kinds of meditation. I first started when I was in high school and a high school teacher introduced me to it. I have a certain style that I practice, but I don't think that's the only way to go. They say many roads lead to Rome. I think that the essence of meditation is paying attention to yourself. I think of it as taking your attention, turning it away from the outside world, all those things that are calling it external things, people, your job, social media, all of that. Putting it on yourself in the sense of Watching kind of attention, where you're paying attention to your body. How does your body feel? Your thoughts, what thoughts are going through your mind, but not necessarily reacting to any of that, just letting it be there in your attention. And so that's the basis of it as far as the way that I look at it.

Speaker 1: 3:08

I love that idea of coming in and I'm a big believer that most of us have been a lot of time trying to make the outside feel good to the inside feel good, and it really is the reverse. That's what I learned through meditating is it's taking the time to be like, oh, if the inside feels good, then suddenly I see the outside world differently, not the opposite way. So for you, how long have you been meditating?

Speaker 2: 3:30

It's been on and off pretty consistently though about 40 years. I started in high school and it was such a great thing for me. It was the thing that gave me the biggest sense of peace, and my high school years weren't easy. I think most people have a lot of angst in high school, especially today. Young kids or high school kids have anxiety and depression, and so I found that it gave me a sense of peace and I tried lots of different schools but, yeah, many years and I feel like it's indispensable part of my life.

Speaker 1: 4:02

So I am curious about what you think, because people think when they hear meditation, sometimes people think that they have to fly to India, stay there for six weeks, and so I'd love to hear, like your idea of growing a meditation practice, because I'm sure that where you started, just like where I started, like I couldn't sit still, the idea of sitting still for five minutes when I started was that was not happening. There's no right or wrong, but I'd love to hear how your practice has gone.

Speaker 2: 4:28

Yeah, I completely agree with you that it's better to start slow and it's fine to just start with a few minutes a day. I know someone who started with two minutes a day and that's fine. It's dipping your toe in the water, it's establishing a habit. And I also agree with what you said about the monkey mind. I think that it can be daunting when you first start because if you're not used to observing your thoughts, you may say, wow, I didn't realize I had a hundred million thoughts in there. They're never going to stop. Or I didn't realize my body felt so tight or so achy or whatever you're feeling. But that's normal. It's just. It's normal when you come in contact with what's going on inside, to feel that it's a little overwhelming. So it's good to learn how to be with those things in a non-reactive way and do it a couple of minutes at a time, whatever technique you're using. And I'll say one more thing about that is that I think a lot of people are mistaken when they think that in order to meditate, you can't have any thoughts. Your mind has to be completely still, which is even harder than going to India. Nobody can keep their mind completely still. It's the nature of the mind to have constant thoughts. So what happens, though, is, if you keep your body still and you keep your attention gently focused, your mind will quiet down somewhat, and then you can still have thoughts and be meditating at the same time, and you go in and out of your technique. That's normal, too. That's the way it works.

Speaker 1: 5:50

I'm glad you're saying that, because I think there is that misjudgment of I'm not supposed to think anything. That's not how my brain works either. But to that point and I'd love to hear your thoughts on this is, and you started to talk about a little bit of not judging it, like because that's, I think, really the thing that happens is that we have these thoughts and constantly during the day we're judging ourself, our thoughts, everything we're doing around us, and I'm curious for you how you started to not judge your thoughts, like how that evolution came about, because that's really the onus of it, if you're going to have the thoughts but you don't have to judge every one of them critically.

Speaker 2: 6:27

Yeah, it's really practicing. I'm still practicing it. I still sometimes catch myself going off on something in meditation that's negative and saying this is not really helpful at all. But it's taking a stance where you're observing your thoughts. So it's like you're getting a little distance on your thoughts and that means you're not as connected to them. So it gives you a little extra space in your life between you and what you're feeling and what you're thinking, and that little bit of space gives you the time to react differently to things in your life. So what you're doing during meditating is being more observant, stepping back from your experience, feeling that space and that that comes over days and months and years. If you do it, then it becomes a habit and then you'll have a more space during your day so that when someone really irritates you, that feeling of annoyance doesn't flare up as fast. You may have a little time before it flares up and in that time you can say, okay, is it really worth upsetting myself so much, or I should have expected this or some other reaction that's not as dramatic.

Speaker 1: 7:31

Am I answering the question when I say that, yeah, I think that's a good answer. I think that's really helpful, especially if you're new into meditating or you think that you'll never have a quiet month or even somewhat quiet month. It can be really daunting, like you said earlier. So I think that it's really good to be able to say start to do that practice. I assimilate it to watching TV when you start to watch your thoughts and if you're the outside person looking in as opposed to maybe in the whole show running it. So I think that's a really great answer. And it does take time in practice, and that's the thing and finding what works for you. And the other thing is like when you're talking about being able to have that practice of like when somebody irritates you and you can turn in as opposed to reacting out.

Speaker 2: 8:13

Yeah. So I think the other thing is that it's interesting. You can look at meditation from a spiritual perspective. You're looking for union with God. You can go that way, but you also don't have to. You can have a completely secular, science-based meditation practice, because whatever your intent is, it's going to take you a long time to get there. In the meantime, when you sit down to meditate, your brain is actually having certain reactions that calm your nervous system, and they've done a lot of studies on this and they find that different parts of your brain calm down and that you have different kind of brain waves when you meditate. And when that happens, you get different chemicals, biochemicals, circulating through your blood and that makes you feel different and then you can act different. So it's a kind of a physiological process that happens. It's that body-mind connection that's so super interesting. When you sit down, you're not moving your body, your eyes are probably closed and you're not putting something into your body and mind, which we are usually all day long having something coming in. So just by doing that, your nervous system starts to calm down.

Speaker 1: 9:22

Meditation is not the only way you can calm your nervous system, but it's a really efficient way, and it's a self soothing way, as opposed to trying again for something outside trying to do it. So what's interesting is, as you're talking, I was thinking about this. I think I read an article for a headline that said they were switching, like regular detention for kids, to meditation and or yoga. I was like that is fantastic, because that's usually the issue is that it's so much outside of themselves, them acting out to be able to calm them and teach them. That tool really makes more sense as opposed to you've done something wrong here as a punishment. Here's something that you can do to be quieter inside yourself. I agree with you.

Speaker 2: 10:02

So much with that. I think it would be so great if kids were taught in middle school to meditate and probably help society so much. But I actually had my first yoga class in junior high school. For some reason, I went to public high school in New York City and they offered yoga and I had this amazing experience after coming down from a shoulder stand pose, we were lying flat on the floor and I felt peace and calm for the first time in my life. It was so dramatic and that was really the start of me looking inward and exploring those things and I was given that opportunity by some fantastic yoga teachers. So, yeah, I think it would be life changing for kids. Like a tool it's a great tool.

Speaker 1: 10:43

It is a great tool and I love that you had that. I'm like amazed and that's the New York school systems opposed to a lot years ago. That was not like the same. I was not watching them in North Jersey, but I love that idea because I think that when we teach our kids those tools, it can really change the outcome because we're teaching them how to, even small. That's an idea of self soothing that many people find hard to do as they get older if they haven't been given a great tool to be able to use to be able to calm themselves down, and I think that's really important. So I'm actually kudos to the New York school systems for doing that and being open minded. And the other thing is, obviously I'm a big advocate when you self care, you show up better for your business. But that's this idea of self-caring because you're taking the time for you, as opposed to ultimately over giving and never really taking the time for you and then getting frustrated because you don't have a tool to take the time for you and the meditation is like high quality time.

Speaker 2: 11:41

It's using your attention and I sometimes use that analogy that your attention is like a flashlight. It's powerful and whatever you put your attention on, it's going to be Either you're going to be able to see it better. So then you turn your attention on your body and on your mind and you get a real good view what's happening in there. You get to know yourself. It's not always a pretty picture, but that's human nature and that's how we have to work. Everybody has a lot going on and it's not until you deal with it directly that you really can change it little by little. And I just find that meditation helps me during that afternoon time when you really want more coffee or you want something sweet, or Maybe you're going the other way and you're just going for a happy hour and you want a glass of wine, whatever it may be. You know that craving to feel better. If I meditate, it takes care of that. I get calmness and energy and it's healthy. You know it's like a good addiction.

Speaker 1: 12:36

I love that. It's so funny because I am like the queen of the five-minute nap and so I find five-minute nap meditations and they are great and I'm fine. Afterwards I'm like everybody's like how do you take a? I'm like, no, you don't understand. If I'm like doing a five-minute nap meditation, I am so ready to go again. It just takes that little reset and I'm which is hysterical because I'm like because I don't nap long like I've never been to do that. But five minutes or 10 minutes will Completely change my day.

Speaker 2: 13:05

If I do it. I just think it's brilliant. I'm a physical therapist, so I have a treatment table in my room and I'll lie down on that table, sometimes for like just a few minutes, like you're saying, and it is a reset and it's resetting your nervous system and that is powerful because you're going right to the source of everything.

Speaker 1: 13:22

It's amazing how well that works, and I know that people are like I don't know how you do that. But I'm telling you and I didn't start it until I started to work for myself I didn't realize that I could do that because I was one of those power drivers that thought that I had to go all day and couldn't understand when they were tired and then get mad at myself. I was tired and I was like no, just take the five-minute meditation or the five-minute nap and you'll be able to do that, as opposed to trying to be superwoman, you don't have to be they think that they have a momentum going and if they stop they're going to lose the momentum or something's going to happen.

Speaker 2: 13:54

That's negative, but what happens is the stress drains away and then your momentum is better. I read this once in a book on shigeng, which is like a martial, our energetic martial arts, and they were saying that when you have stress in your body, it's moving into your body or through your body and if you don't move your body and you don't address it in some way, then it congeals like cement and then it's in there, which I also feel is true. And if you can just change what you're doing, as in changing your position lying down, it could be as simple as taking a few deep breaths. But I find changing your position is really helpful, even if you're standing up. It just allows whatever it is that you are holding to move through you and that's like a, that's a pause. I call it a pause, a mindful pause.

Speaker 1: 14:38

Oh, I love that and I like that analogy for stress. Wow, that really does explain it, because you can just feel it in your whole body Tenses and doesn't like want to go or move. It's crazy. So that really makes sense. I love that. I've never heard it quite said like that before. That's actually a good analogy.

Speaker 2: 14:54

Yeah, I never forgot it when I read that and I actually just wrote of In my newsletter. I just wrote a newsletter on the mind, body connection and stress and it's just about that how you can use your body to help your mind, which is what you're doing when you lie down, but when you meditate it's a combination. When you meditate, it's like you're addressing your nervous system, which helps your body and your mind. So there's so many ways to do it. It's just good to do something, even if it's two minutes 30 seconds. It's a kind of a mental shift. Yeah absolutely.

Speaker 1: 15:27

I really love that. So I'm sure you see a lot in your physical therapy because people usually come in probably later than they should come to see you. What are the beginning signs or the signs that somebody could benefit from meditation? As a female entrepreneur, I find that, like women, more than anyone else can go yeah, this is normal and try to push through it, and they ignore the warning signs.

Speaker 2: 15:51

Yeah, they do, and I would say it's a feeling of constant fatigue, is a really great warning sign, especially if you start off. You're okay for a few hours during in the morning, maybe when you're at work, and then you start getting tired midday and then it's very anxiety producing and for some people it makes them push harder, drink more coffee and almost they're fighting against themselves. I used to be like that too. I had that in me, even though I was meditating at the time. It's so common. Another thing is that tired and why you're feeling where you can't go to sleep at night, you don't sleep enough, you wake up and you're tired lying in the bed in the morning. Those are signs of a dysregulated nervous system, your nervous system. You want it to be able to drop down, have a refreshing sleep, wake up, be refreshed. Those are signs that you need to pay attention to yourself. It's turn your attention on yourself and you'll be repaid.

Speaker 1: 16:46

Many times over. I like that, that you said that, because tiredness is always. When I'm that tired, I'm like something is off, and I think that's the warning sign. We miss the most, though, is like we're like, oh, we didn't, and we make excuses like we didn't sleep well, or, strangely enough, I've had other people on the show, and anytime they were like when they were physical issues, anything they were like oh yeah, I was tired first, and that's the thing that they ignore.

Speaker 2: 17:11

Because it's not so extreme, it's not pain, it's not overwhelming anxiety. You can still function through it. So a lot of times people don't change something until it gets bad enough. And that motivation to be like, oh, it's not that bad, I'm going to stop what I'm doing and sit down and meditate, it's a how do you make yourself, how do you understand that's so helpful Usually not until you've been through quite a bit. Personally, I do see people in the office and I I work with them and I do the craniosacral therapy, which also calms your nervous system, and then people get to feel the difference between how they were and when they're in full of anxiety and fatigue, when their nervous system calms down. And then I tell them you can also meditate and this helps your nervous system, and some people will say, yeah, I want that feeling. That's what I did in junior high. It's, I want that feeling and it's going towards the positive is usually go away from the negative. That shift towards going towards the positive is helpful.

Speaker 1: 18:10

I can definitely see that, and that's the thing. How do I stop to go meditate? It's almost permission based. I think what women struggle with is that permission to be okay to stop the world and say I'm going to go do this for myself.

Speaker 2: 18:22

It's prioritizing yourself, your emotions, your energy level. That is such a good point. I remember once being so impressed with a patient of mine who has a mother of four and she worked full time, yet she got up early enough in the morning to meditate before she went to work. And I just always remember her, because who can do that? But she found it so beneficial.

Speaker 1: 18:45

Yeah, and then that's the thing finding that thing that works for you so that it really is beneficial, because I'm sure then she was calmer with her children she was. I know for me, when I do it and then I'm not like resentful at the other times that I spend with other buddy else, that's my warning sign. When I start resenting doing stuff, I'm like, yep, let's go, let's go meditate, let's take a break, because suddenly I liked you five minutes ago and I don't know. So maybe it's time for a break, maybe it's a perspective.

Speaker 2: 19:13

It's a good morning sign, yeah.

Speaker 1: 19:15

It's a good morning sign.

Speaker 2: 19:16

Everybody has a warning sign, like maybe chewing off all your fingernails could be your warning sign or whatever it could be.

Speaker 1: 19:21

So I have one last question for you. If you're a female entrepreneur and realize that you're like living in this flight or fight mode because that has a lot to do with the stress what's one simple meditation they could start with just to start to calm their nervous system?

Speaker 2: 19:37

Sure, so I think you could simply have a meditation of sitting comfortably in a chair and closing your eyes and observing the sensations in your body, because when you do that, you're tuning in to yourself and your mind will be producing thoughts, your body will be producing sensations and you're just observing them. So it's not really a technique. It's more about changing your attention, putting it inward, and you could do that for two minutes or five minutes. That being said, I will say that there's a lot of great apps out there. Headspace is a great popular app, calm is a good app, and there are lots of meditations on there that people do, which are guided meditations, but I prefer the idea of meditating, that you observe yourself, more than listen to music or visualize something. They're all good, but I think that, in its essence, meditation is about being with yourself. So the meditation I do is that uses a mantra, which is a word that you say over and over again, and it's not that the word has meaning. It's that it's a way of being with your thoughts, but not being with them. It's another way of getting into the state of the observer. That's why I'm saying just sit down, just observe. It's not a technique. You don't have to study it. You can't do it wrong, even if you forget what you're doing and you start thinking again. Eventually you're going to remember and then you come back and that's how you meditate anyway.

Speaker 1: 21:06

Thank you so much. This has been fabulous and I love talking about meditation because, like I said, it's been a journey and if you're new to meditation, it's a journey and it's not a destination. It's an ongoing journey, and so thank you for being on the show. I know you have an offer, so I would love for you to share with our audience what that is, and, of course, the link will be in the show notes, but you can share what that is. That'd be great.

Speaker 2: 21:29

Okay, sure. So actually I have two offers. One is a free offer on my website homepage. If you scroll down it's a position for relieving back and neck pain and you can opt into that and you'll be opted into my newsletter and you'll get that 90 90 position, or I call it the best computer break, and it's a really great way to shift your position and get some relief. It's also a two minute thing that you can do. The other offer is called reset your nervous system and it's a course that you can get over seven days, seven emails, and it's easy techniques that you can do to release and relax your body working through the nervous system, and that's for $17. You can find that on my website as well Finn physical therapy.

Speaker 1: 22:13

Awesome, awesome. And, like I said, I will have the links in the show notes, so go and look at those. Thank you so much, deidre, for coming on the show today. I enjoyed it. Thank you and for all those listening. If you loved what you heard today, please subscribe for more self care podcast as we move forward and also leave a review In the meantime. Have an abundant week.