Are you a female entrepreneur who believes there is a difference between good and bad habits? Do you know even “good” habits could be holding you back from having an extraordinary life?
This week on the Wellness and Wealth podcast, Tricia Parido of Turning Leaves Recovery Life addresses those things you do to feel good or to cope. She’ll also share how you can keep the things you love, minus the rigidity blocking you from the freedom you truly desire.
In this episode, Tricia Parido answers the following questions:
What is a habit?
How do positive habits or goal setting hinder us?
What is the first step to getting rid of habits and finding more freedom?
Are you a female entrepreneur who believes there is a difference between good and bad habits? Do you know even “good” habits could be holding you back from having an extraordinary life?
This week on the Wellness and Wealth podcast, Patricia Parido of Turning Leaves Recovery Life addresses those things you do to feel good or to cope. She’ll also share how you can keep the things you love, minus the rigidity blocking you from the freedom you truly desire.
In this episode, Patricia Parido answers the following questions:
Guest Offer: Complimentary 15-day access to Turning a New Leaf A 3 Part Series to begin building your new approach to experiencing living.
Guest Link: https://liveforyourself.teachable.com/purchase?product_id=4088306
Connect with Wendy Manganaro:
Connect with Wendy Manganaro:
[00:00:00] Wendy Manganaro: Hi everyone. My name's Wendy Manganaro and I am the Host of the Wellness and Wealth podcast. I'm so happy to have you find us. And if you could take a moment and hit that subscribe button, I'd really appreciate it. This is the podcast where we believe when you show up better for yourself as a woman business owner, you show up better for your business.
So sit back, relax. And learn from the practical to the woo-hoo, how to best take care of you. Have a great day. Stay blessed. And leave a review when you're done listening to the show, thanks so much.
[00:00:38] Wendy (2): Hi everyone. Welcome to Wellness and Wealth. We have Trisha Parido on with us, and we're going to talk about there are no good habits, and of course, we're going to get right into it by reading Trisha's bio.
Patricia is a recovery life enthusiast, speaker and writer. She is a nationally certified life coach and international master's addiction specialist, and a professional life interventionist with a psych degree in process, behavioral and chemical addiction, who loves to help change lives, specializing in life, trans transitions and post-treatment journeys. Parido is ever committed to serving her clients worldwide to find the emotional intelligence they need to conquer their life Challenges. As an active business owner of a thriving coaching practice Turning Leaves Recovery, Life and Wellness Coaching, seated in evidence based practices, she's not only teaches her clients how to live they desired and live free, but she also teaches those that aspire to become professional coaches how to do so passionately and professionally. Tricia has co-authored a release Stepping into the Spotlight. That went straight to the best sellers list in multiple countries and also was published in Raising the Bar Volume two, which was featured on Innovators Radio and NBC.
Beyond that, Tricia has been published on SkillsYouNeed.com, Thrive Global Elephant Journal and Aspire a publication by Walden University, where she is also presented her expertise to alumni just as she did at Bedo Moyo. Mos, the Best You Expo and 2021 K.C.A.A.D.E. Conference on effective discharge planning.
[00:02:24] Patricia: Well, that was a mouthful. But, thank you, .
[00:02:29] Wendy: You're welcome. And just so that the listeners know, we've chatted a couple times back and forth, it has been wonderful getting to know you.
And I was like, that's right. I need to have Trisha on the show. So I'm so glad you're here with me.
[00:02:41] Patricia: I'm very excited. Thank you.
[00:02:43] Wendy: I love our topic today. There are no good habits. So, of course my signature question, what does habit mean to you?
[00:02:52] Patricia: I love that you phrased it that way. What does it mean to me? If we're looking at, if I'm bringing all of the listeners into my world, into the Turning Leaves world, into the world of the clients, a habit is something that if you can't do it, at it's designated time place in whatever order, yada, yada, that it, actually changes you the way that you think, feel, act in the moment.
So if I can give you a cognitive visualization, think of that 6:00 AM spin class. So many moms, they love to get up. They do their 6:00 AM spin class. It's a good, healthy habit. However, as we've all seen in Covid, over and over and over again, our kid gets sick or has symptoms, can't go to school, and now suddenly mom can't go to the 6:00 AM spin class.
Mom is now irritated, agitated, annoyed, frustrated, bothered, derailed because her regimented routine has been altered. A habit can be anything like that. A habit for me to, do this, that or the other thing and, and if I can't, then, it messes up my day, it messes my flow, it messes with my energy. And that's a choice., So if your habits are holding you hostage, then, that's what I'm, that's what I'm referring to.
[00:04:19] Wendy: Can I just interrupt you for one second cuz my family knows that I have an hour every morning like that this door stays closed and I'm always like, and you are here. Why if they come in now saying that though, like most people would call that a routine. The thought process of I have a routine and if, and really it's a lack of fear of change if that routine,
[00:04:41] Patricia: So I like that you used the word routine, so do a lot of people call it a routine? Yes. But is it internally a habit that is right or a negative attachment?
Even if people say, oh, it's an attachment, it's a negative attachment. If it causes you distress and you can't have it. Or if it doesn't happen when you want it, think of alcohol. So if we go into that the habit, if part of my routine to every day come home and have a bottle of wine that is that is a negative attachment to a chemical substance and you have assigned an emotional purpose to it and it doesn't have that is inapproprite.
So if our morning exercise routine has an emotional purpose, That we cannot sit in and move through without that purpose. The whole idea is we want to create a lifestyle, a healthy lifestyle for ourselves. But in that, if you think about health, whole health includes six subcategories.
And in there is your emotional and intellectual. So if emotionally you are derailed, because you can't do that 6:00 AM class, you are hurting your emotional health. And so you want to have it be a lifestyle, but that lifestyle needs to be, it needs to be resilient. We all need more resiliency, which means we need to be bendable, flexible, pliable, because when we're so rigid, When everything's rigid, you think of a rigid piece of plastic? If you bend. It breaks. So we don't wanna be so rigid that we break if we try to, bend to some different way. So yes, the fear of change is really the fear of learning something new, experiencing something new.
And however, the only way to change is to learn something new. We don't grow when things are easy. We grow and we face challenges, and so we need to have that mindset of can't go to the 6:00 AM spin. However, I can go to the 6:00 PM spend class when my husband gets home to sit with the kids.
Whatever that looks like, it's just, okay, edit, delete, change, shift, morph. What do I need to do? We need more resiliency, we need more flexibility. And I know that there's a lot of things that go into this and it's all a part of, knowing yourself.
[00:07:14] Wendy: Yeah, and I love that. But, that's what I hear is oh, but this is my routine especially when I do work with people who are in business or but a lot of people, they're like, but this is my routine, where would I fit this in? And there is no flexibility to fit anything new in because this is where they think that they have to spend their time
[00:07:34] Patricia: Because they are rigid in their actions. So I love that you brought that in. Because yes, I hear it all the time. I don't have time. I don't have time, I don't have time.
Well, one time is a manmade construct, and we still get to choose. So when you're talking about routine, and these are the things that I do for business and when we get so rigid with it, we don't make room for that next thing to add in. So when you go and you learn something new, you go listen to a talk or a , presentation, or you hear about something and you wanna incorporate it in, this is how our lives become so over raught so instead of going, let me add it at delete, change shift, morph, take a look at my calendar. Where can I incorporate this? We can be flexible with some of those things. I have, specific things that I do in the morning. However, if it says, I find something that I wanna add in, I'm like, okay, cool.
How can I shift these things to make room? We got, we always have to be flexible and say, okay, because we don't wanna take more than say whatever our allotted time is. For me, it's three hours in the morning and I do very specific things but those things have to be malleable. And so if there's something very cool or unique that I want to do, and it means one less day of posting in all of the Facebook groups, so be it or I, change it up a little bit and then maybe go at a faster pace, or I move the communication and the chatting to do a different time slot. We almost always have white space. But it's all about that flexibility because if we rigidly originally do the exact same thing every day over and over again and expect a different result or a better result, or to grow, like we're gonna continue to hit that glass ceiling.
[00:09:37] Wendy: And to that point, that goes for personal lives too, where it's so rigid of I have to do this with my kid.
It's almost like we turn what could be a good thing into a have to, and then it feels like a negative because also with that rigidity, you're like, oh, I have to do this, and whether it's with your family or with your business, it puts too much pressure on you.
And when you're like that, then you're not enjoying anything you're doing because there is no flexibility. It becomes all a chore instead of something that you and have fun with.
[00:10:10] Patricia: Yes. So if we look at personal, I raised five children. And so when you look at, people saying, oh, I don't have time.
Bobby has soccer and Sally has basketball. I had five that had whatever. So really what you say is your responsibility, is it your responsibility to sit and watch those practices? Or is it the responsibility of the coach to do a good job taking care of your kid so that you can actually do something else productive?
Something for yourself. We have to live for ourselves first without feeling guilty, selfish, punished, or restricted. And in doing that, we will lead by better example. We will be happier, we will be healthier. And when I say live for yourself first, it doesn't mean don't take the kids to their practices, but you don't have to sit there and watch.
It's better for your kids if you don't. They actually come out with better skill sets if you don't. They also don't need you to give them your interpretation of how well they did at practice. That's none of your business. It's not your job. It's not what you do as a profession. Stay out of it. Let the coach do their job.
And I was an athlete my whole life. And my parents did that for me and it was great. It was great. Let me go do my thing. I learned how to communicate with other people. I learned how to create and form my own relationships. I didn't have anybody else critiquing me when, I was already internally critiquing myself highly anyway, and my coach was there to what teach me.
It was his job to tell me, to watch over the pool and say, Hey, look, your hands are coming a part when you touch the wall because it's his job so that I don't get disqualified in the race that I'm training to win. So when we look at that as parents, we take on way too much pressure.
If your kid if you live close enough for your kids to walk home from school, of course age appropriate. I understand. But there's just so many things that we take on that, that we don't necessarily have to, and I work with a lot of moms that are, in high level business and then, they were working from home and then, with Covid, the kids and all of this stuff.
And so they, they're still doing all of the wife mom duties inside the house and their big job and, all of these things. And it gets to be overwhelming. And when you look at its one thing to have to do the 20 minute drive. It's another thing to say, I have to sit here for two hours and watch them practice.
Let's be smarter about it. You're gonna start sitting in the back of the classroom while they're in school making sure they do their work. Like, no,
[00:12:46] Wendy (2): It's funny that you're talking about this, and this is not with my child cuz my child is very independent, but my mom I take to a community center and for a while, I was going to a coffee shop every day and I was wasting half of my day waiting for her. Finally, I was like, go home and you have quiet. Not that I wasn't getting stuff done there, but I could get much more done in my own space, my own office, and I was like, what are you waiting for next door ?
You could come home and drive back. It's not a big deal. And so, I've actually gotten even more stuff, for me done and I've had more quiet time, which has been lovely, because I don't have anybody here in the morning, but it is exactly what you're talking and I don't need to do all of that.
She'll be fine if I'm five minutes late, they're not gonna kick her out. The reverse of the whole parent thing. So how did you learn about that there's no good habits because I love hearing people's kind of little stories of moments of clarity that get them there.
[00:13:37] Patricia: How did I learn? Five and a half years of studying process, behavioral and chemical addiction, while I was getting my psych degree, and, learning, the addiction industry, but we won't go into how I ended up, serving the population that I serve, which is what I consider to be the not so normal faces of addiction a very underserved population. People that don't need to be removed from their environment and sent away somewhere. But how did I realize this in studying and I'm just gonna throw out these clinical terms and then I'm gonna back away from that so it becomes understandable. Julian Rodders locus of control theory.
In studying that and in learning, and gaining that knowledge and the ability, the personal ability to observe, identify, and, change. So as the locus of control theory, so the external locus of controlling internal locus of control and really observing how much. And so with those external, that's allowing things outside of you, things outside of you to influence, change, manipulate, dictate how you are experiencing living. And so that's people, places, things, alcohol, food, shopping. All the things. So if you have, this. Spin class. It is something outside of you, but it has the power to control how you think, feel, act, believe.
People, if they say something to you and you hear it and you and you take it personally, whatever it is. So in watching how I had to sign emotional purposes to food and to alcohol and to, all of these things. But also the cool part was looking at that internal locus of control.
So what is that internal dialogue that's going on in some of these situations? So that's when I'm seeing, that's where I'm seeing like, oh wait, I'm relying on alcohol, food, whatever to soothe me at the end of a stressful day, I'm relying on alcohol to be or whatever it is to make me more fun in an event I'm relying on, the food at the social event, the food and the alcohol at the social event to calm my social anxiety.
That hand, mouth, hand, mouth, hand, mouth those are habits and they're nothing good about them and it's that social thing, so you can look at other things. Am I relying on this habitual way of engaging on social media? If you need that to feel valued, to feel validated, to feel worthy, like you're relying on something outside of you for that, and that needs to come from you. So we have to work on getting that and knowing how to, ebb and flow and where your sweet spot is on the continuum, because it is a continuum. So if we think about Every child is born in the external locus of control position.
We rely on people, we cry, we can get a bottle. We rely on people to change our diaper, to put on our shoes, get us dressed, feed us all the things. If our parents are doing us service, they are leading by an example and allowing us to move into more of an internal locus of control position.
Yes, we can to a fault get far too internally driven. And so we have this, negative internal dialogue, but we also have narcissism. But we're not even gonna go there. So we take on baggage, but we really want to be moving into, a space of autonomy to be our own unique being and have that sense of esteem and Sure if we don't start talking to say our kids about, sticks and stones may break our bones, We want to teach our children how not to internalize the negative things in the world to just look at them as information and something we can choose. Something we can choose to hear, see, experience, however we want. So is this somebody's opinion? Because it's only, fact if we take it in. So when we start looking at these things, we do these habits, these you addictions, so if we're kids and we're growing up and we go to the doctor, we get a lollipop, we going to the dentist, we get a sucker. We get a shot, we get something else. It's our birthday, we get cake. It's all this external gratification. And I'm not saying don't get your kids' cake for their birthday, but if we look at it that way, it's a conditioned way of being, it's a hand to mouth it's a reward, it's a something outside and we need to change that. So when I'm working with people, with their relationship with food, which is lifelong because it's not something we can just put down. We have to continue eating. So it is probably one of the most in depth relationships that we have to cultivate and change, because food is just fuel and it can take a lot of time to get that relationship into that space.
But we need to do that with anything outside of it; outside of us, because we can't rely on the beach to make us feel better. It can make us feel better and we can really enjoy it, but we can't be reliant upon it. We need to be as happy sitting in this chair or satisfied or. Feelings of self worth or security, confidence all of that stuff needs to be exactly the same while you're sitting in the chair that you're sitting in or wherever it is you're listening, as it does when you're in the spin class, as it does when you're, at a social, all of the things.
[00:19:27] Wendy (2): Yeah. I love that. The longer I have worked in the realm of mindset, and I've heard it for years and I didn't really start to connect with it because I think a lot of what you're talking about is there's the, I know that's not good for me and I shouldn't do that to trying to do something about it and then not being able to, because I think there's a heart to head exchange that has to happen.
There's I'm done with this and I'm trying to not do this. Or I know this is bad for me but you're not really there. And so what I really have been focused on and I understand is like that my outside circumstances don't have to make up my inside feelings, but it took me years cause it was all about the external. It was, whether it was food or alcohol or whether it was, what you said about me. Hardest thing I ever had to learn was it was not my business. But other people said about me like that I didn't need that external to be okay with who I was.
And I think that, especially when you're in business for yourself, what are my clients gonna say And it took me a few times in the beginning to be okay. I'm not gonna be for everybody.
Whether you are or whether you're not is really the essence of what you're saying and that goes along with habits whether I have something or not, I'll still be okay. But it took a process for sure to get there.
[00:20:50] Patricia: Right. I think that's really important that you said that because it's not a shift.
I can't do this. I have to stop doing this because I'll tell you with the alcohol, The issues aren't solved by just putting down the alcohol. And of course, there's a gamut of levels of severity. Everybody's relationship looks different so sure there's those that person's an alcoholic because they're Laying on the couch passed out half the time. There's that is, there's a difference. If I use it as an illustration everybody can understand is there is a perception out there in the world that if we put the alcohol down, everything is fine and it's not true.
Because you have to fix the reason why you relied on it in the first place. And that doesn't mean I have to visit the trauma or, whatever thing I wanna point to. Because it's more than just one event. It's more than just an event. It's, why do you go to that external? So why am I externally driven being, because everything that I just said was all another layer of external.
Or a layer of internal because, I look at, and hopefully this isn't too much for anybody. If it is, I'm totally sorry, but I'm a survivor of multiple sexual assaults, rape, domestic violence and emotional abuse. So I can say that super easy because in my recovery, lifestyle creation, I learned about this locus of control theory and everything else that, that I teach, that goes around it and supports it and builds it up.
I learned about this so I don't have old baggage from past, from all of those past things. Those things had nothing to do with me. I was merely the vehicle or the vessel for somebody else's bad act. I survived. It's their bad karma. I'm not gonna carry that around. And that's not to say that I don't have a very strong physical boundary system.
I have a spatial thing but I like it. And I have what I call my creep dart. It goes off and I listen to it. But it's on a shelf. It's not something I walk around scared about all the time. It's on a shelf. It's properly packaged. I know where it is. I know what I need to do when I need to. We all tend to carry around this big old baggage of crap and it just weighs us down. Or we're just, future tripping. And so now we're in states of anxiety and we need to learn how to, shelf things, package 'em up, trash 'em, whatever it is.
Cause if it doesn't belong to you, like I said, those bad acts of that other person, if it wasn't me, it would've been somebody else. Didn't have anything to do with me. They were going to be doing those things regardless. So I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to just continue living and be the best version of myself that I can be.
And so one of the greatest transitions I made in my life. Way up there at the top. So we look at it that way. When you're talking about I should be able to do this, I should have done that. Should statements are nothing but pressure to perform as our goals.
People are like set goals. Got a set goals, I don't know. Think about the soccer game, you either make it or you don't, and you're either winning the game for your team or you're losing it for your team. And I don't know, there's just such a huge pressure to perform. I like aspirations.
I aspire to do this, but along the way it can change, shift more. If it can grow into something else, but I still have, the steps and I'm learning, I'm exploring. We always think, oh, I'm gonna set this goal. And then we get there and we're like, oh, not so great.
Cause it's not really what we wanted to begin with, but we didn't know. So really those little objectives and steps, are helping us stay in a forward moving momentum. But we put all this pressure on it, we put this ceiling on it, we put this cap on it, and then when we get there,
[00:24:38] Wendy: You have to go for the next one because it's never satisfying.
[00:24:41] Wendy (2): And bringing it back to entrepreneurship, goals is a perfect intro into this question how does, positive habits or goal setting, hinder us?
Because, I personally don't love the idea of smart goals, and I do marketing strategies but even with strategies, a good strategy, you have to go back and redo.
Sometimes test it, you see if it works, it doesn't, it's okay. You move on to something else. So, like how do you see it hinder businesses? Cause I see some people go into that strategy and then they never wanna change. And I'm like, but it's not working for you .
[00:25:13] Patricia: It's the rigidity. And I had a conversation with somebody about that very specifically the other day and every time, , I brought in a suggestion, as their coach. Every time I brought in a suggestion, it was met with resistance of, but, and all the reasons why they had to continue doing it this way. And I'm like, but you're not set, and I said, so you're just telling me you're unwilling to grow Change Tip morph and actually work in the direction of what you say the outcome is that.
You're digging your heels in so it's rigidity, right? If we have this need to be right all the time, it's like I'm gonna keep doing this until it actually produces the results that I thought it was going to, because otherwise I think I'm a failure because I sent, I'm gonna do this and it's gonna create the results that I want.
And like you were saying, try it and if it doesn't, do it then move on. Maybe that's not necessarily the truth. Maybe you do it and it doesn't, and you can't be rigid, you can keep it, you can keep all the things you love. You have to change your relationship with them.
You have to be bendable, flexible, pliable, and allow for change growth, morphing, whatever it is. And so you wanna be able to add, edit, delete, change, shift, morph. And so when I talk about that is I want to keep this, I believe in this. I like doing it.
It, not just simply this is what I do at this time of day. And it's like, I gotta do it. But you get to adjust it or add to it or something like that. You're holding yourself back if you're not allowing flexibility and space in your life, you're going to consistently be saying, I don't have time.
You're going to always be, I don't have money to pay for that next thing that I need to learn because you're capping yourself and so we put these goals and these, rigid outlines of, what we think, and we compare ourselves to other people.
I want what they have. You have to look at that and say I want my life to feel the way that I perceive theirs. It's not about doing what they're doing because, here's the thing. You do what? You go to Tony Robbins and you see the top five people that get like amazing results, and you're like, why didn't I get that?
And a lot of it's because we're trying to take the method. We're trying to put our life into somebody else's method or modality. The way that they do things. We wanna put my life over here and it'll fix everything. It's not the way it works. The people that are getting success are taking that method or modality and they're incorporating it into their life.
Edit deletes, take what you can use, leave the rest, however you wanna word that and say, how can I use this to my benefit? How does it fit into my life? We have to stop trying to fit our round life into somebody else's square peg. Take that square peg into your giant life and so it's something that I teach all of my clients because sure, I have a program a process, things that we do.
We all learn the same thing. However, how each person uses it is unique, specifically to them. So that's why when, people ask me like, why don't you do this one to many? Why isn't this stand alone? Like your lessons are prerecorded. Like you could people out to me wanting to, coach me and tell me how to scale and all these things, which is great.
However, if I don't spend that one on one time with that client, at whatever level they. Some need more than others. It's again, this is your unique personal life, personal, professional life. We need to be learning the practical application of the psychological skill sets and tactics that are going to change the way you are experiencing living so that you experience it the way you desire.
You wanna see yourself a specific way, so you have to learn how to see yourself that way. You also have to learn how to receive your environment in an effective way. Which means changing the filter you hear through changing the lens that you see through and really making these choices.
So there's very specific skill sets and tactics that we can learn and then cultivate and condition to be our new way of our brain working. And then we can actually show up and be seen and received and communicate , in the exact same world, only better. Not derailed by the guy that cut you off on the freeway on the way to work.
Those early morning stressors that tend to spiral, hold onto one, fill the bag and then at the end of the day, if you even make it to the end of the day, cuz most people in Covid that are working at home that haven't either transitioned back to an office or even those that have a lot of folks that have transitioned back into office space and are having a hard time making it through lunch without alcohol because they've now shifted into, you know what, it's midday.
I'm working at. I'm just gonna pop out to the garage and have a beer because I'm stressed. And they're not doing it, intentionally developing, an addiction. It's not the intent. The intent is I'm just gonna take the edge off. I'm not driving. Nobody can see me, nobody can smell my breath, whatever.
We have a lot of this going on right now. And so to go back to, how is it holding you back? Habits hold you hostage. Negative attachments rule your world and addictions are far broader than society's view. So it's not about people that are down out ill poorly functioning. There is sugar and all the food that we eat, there are so many sugar addicts out there that don't even know until they start to try to get healthy and then they're like, ah, this is miserable.
And so there's a a lot of different things that you know, that you can do, but what's holding you back is you have this rigid way of performing your life and you wonder why. Things aren't improving. Control needs. I have to have an overbooked calendar.
If I don't go to five networking groups, I feel unseen, I feel unheard, I feel undervalued, I feel blah, blah. That's a habit right there. And people are like, but I gotta go to networking. Yes, you do, but let's change the way that you do it and what it means to you.
[00:31:45] Wendy (2): When you were talking about this, I was thinking, that's how I do marketing strategies because I always joke that I'm the person who get the phone calls of I hate marketers. I can't tell you how many people have called during the year and that's the first thing I hear and I'm like, I understand because.
They're trying to fit their way of marketing to your company. And it's not a match, it's just not a match. It's gotta be authentic to you, who you are and what you represent. So I completely understand that. This is gonna be our last question.
But, I want to ask somebody who's realizing oh wait, that spin class is a habit. And I am off all day. Or I didn't, get the kids to bed at eight o'clock. Exactly. And now my work schedule's a mess today. Those little things that you're talking about especially for female entrepreneurs, when they start to realize that, what's the first step to freedom that maybe this is more of a habit.
[00:32:36] Patricia: That is the first step to freedom is caring enough about yourself to self observe.
I've given you enough information in this conversation to self observe how much you allow things outside of yourself. How much emotional purpose do you give to these things? So that step one if you will, step one A would be, you engage in a personal evaluation. And so there's a ton of 'em online, but, I have one on my website that is a complimentary download.
I call it the whole health survey. The wording may change, but it's a little thing you can request on the homepage, but it takes you through the six categories of health. So you can actually take a look at, where am I right now? And it's a simple thing.
And it gives you some diagnostics at the end. It's really easy. But you wanna look at that. And so if you get emotionally derailed or stressed out or whatever, and you're noticing that there's this connection, emotional connection with things, people are like, oh, but my job, it helps my anxiety, great.
We wanna keep it that way. We wanna remove that attachment. So you just wanna start looking at how does that feel for you? That is the first step. You gotta take a look and see how much am I putting a cap in a ceiling on myself and how much am I contributing to my own anxiety depressive states and feelings of discomfort in my life?
How much am I contributing cognitively and emotionally to my lack of satisfaction with my environment, or how I feel appreciated, valued, or validated inside my environment? Be open and honest and genuine with yourself. Nobody else is listening. If you feel like your thoughts, feelings, emotions, opinions, beliefs, needs, wants, dreams, desires are not seen as holding any value.
If you think that they are seen as not being valid and that they're not worthy if you're feeling like that, we need to have a conversation. I truly can't help you if we don't have a conversation. Conversations are completely safe. I'm not emotionally tied to any conversation I have, like there's no sales tactic or anything like that.
It's a conversation. And so, I highly recommend that, do the whole health survey, sit and self evaluate. And if you think you know what, I do have an issue. Let's have a conversation.
[00:34:55] Wendy (2): I like what you said as this first step and I have learned I can now look and say, okay, this is where I'm really being dishonest with myself when I don't think it's a problem than it is. And I've learned a different level of honesty with myself when I don't feel comfortable.
And the last thing that I want to feel is uncomfortable, At one time in my life, I loved misery. I was actually sent out an email saying I was a recovering drama mama, cuz I would be in it. And so it's so funny because like today, none of that feels okay to me in my world. It's just not okay.
And when I start to feel like that, I'm like, okay, what is this? And let me be honest with myself. What am I allowing that's not okay. And it does make a difference because I don't wanna sit in what I used to sit in for what felt like days, weeks, and months, and then wonder why things weren't working out for me.
[00:35:44] Patricia: I'd call it learning how to sit in and move through the uncomfortable and if we can't be honest with ourselves, like if something feels like it's lacking in your life it's lacking for you. And it deserves attention. No matter what it's is.
[00:35:57] Wendy (2): So, oh my gosh. We have to wrap up. I know you do have a freebie besides your whole health survey and how do people get in touch with you.
[00:36:03] Patricia: If you guys want to engage in a condensed version of my signature 12 week program.
I've created a three part series that walks you through the 10 steps and gives you insight into those psychological skill sets and tactics that I was referring to. You'll find a link below 15 day access to three part series that is prerecorded.
You will have the ability to reach out to me in that if you have questions or need a little bit of a support with that and if that's enough for you. Awesome. I hope it helps. And if you wanna get in touch with me, just go to turningleavesrecovery.com.
And you can click any button. But in the top corner you can grab a complimentary consultation, or you can grab the phone numbers on the website, send me a text message.
Super easy to reach me I'm always down for a good conversation.
[00:36:56] Wendy: Thank you, Trisha. This has been lovely and I want to thank our listeners for listening to another show. If you're just turning into our podcast for the first time, go back, subscribe, and in the meantime, have an abundant week.
See you next time.
Tricia Parido is a Recovery Lifestyle Enthusiast, Speaker, and Writer. She is a Nationally Certified Life Coach, an International Master Addictions Specialist, and a Professional Life Interventionist with a Psych Degree in Process Behavioral and Chemical Addiction who loves to help change lives! Specializing in life transitions and post-treatment journeys, Parido is ever committed to serving her clients worldwide to find the emotional intelligence they need to conquer their life challenges.
As an active business owner of a thriving coaching practice, Turning Leaves® Recovery, Life, and Wellness Coaching, seated in evidence-based practices, she not only teaches her clients how to live the life they desire and “live free”, but she also teaches those that aspire to become professional coaches how to do so, passionately, and professionally.
Tricia has co-authored a release, Stepping into the Spotlight, that went straight to the Bestsellers list in multiple countries and also was published in Raising the Bar Vol 2, which was featured on Innovators Radio and NBC. Beyond that Tricia has been published on SkillsYouNeed.com, Thrive Global, Elephant Journal and Aspire, a publication by Walden University where she also has presented her expertise to Alumni just as she did at Bernardo Moya’s The Best You Expo and the 2021 CAADE Conference on Effective Discharge Planning.