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Jan. 25, 2023

Kate Byrne - Nourishing Your Soul

Kate Byrne - Nourishing Your Soul

Are you a female entrepreneur that gives to everyone else and then wonders why our business doesn’t flourish? Or are you a female entrepreneur who wonders if their outside world reflects your inside world?

On this episode of the Wellness and Wealth podcast, Katherine “Kate” Byrne of PopVenture shares about practices that can help you nourish your soul. She’ll also share why it’s saying no; it doesn't mean you can’t do something but that it doesn’t align with your current highest self.

In this episode, Kate Byrne answers the following questions:

What does nourishing your soul mean to her?
How did she discover she needs to nourish herself first?
What are the warning signs a female entrepreneur is doing too much for others?
What are the first steps to start nourishing yourself first?

Are you a female entrepreneur that gives to everyone else and then wonders why our business doesn’t flourish?  Or are you a female entrepreneur who wonders if their outside world reflects your inside world? 

 

On this episode of the Wellness and Wealth podcast, Katherine “Kate” Byrne  of PopVenture shares about practices that can help you nourish your soul.  She’ll also share why it’s saying no, it doesn't mean you can’t do something but that it doesn’t align with your current highest self. 

 

In this episode, Kate Byrne answers the following questions:

 

  • What does nourishing your soul mean to her?
  • How did she discover she needed to nourish herself first?
  • What warning signs are that a female entrepreneur is doing too much for others? 
  • What are the first steps to start nourishing yourself first? 


Offer:
Offer 1: Working with Kate 1:1 

Offer 2: finding out about capital for underrepresented founders. 

 

Link: Offer 1: Email kby413@yahoo.com 

Offer 2: www.goodlight.capital

 

Connect with Wendy Manganaro:

Connect with Wendy Manganaro:  

Transcript

Kate Byrne

[00:00:00] Wendy Manganaro: Hi everyone. My name's Wendy Manganaro and I am the Host of the Wellness and Wealth podcast. I'm so happy to have you find us. And if you could take a moment and hit that subscribe button, I'd really appreciate it. This is the podcast where we believe when you show up better for yourself as a woman business owner, you show up better for your business. 

So sit back, relax. And learn from the practical to the woo-hoo, how to best take care of you. Have a great day. Stay blessed. And leave a review when you're done listening to the show, thanks so much. 

[00:00:38] Wendy: Hi everyone. Today's topic is nourishing your soul and the impact on your business. I'm here with special guest Kate Byrne. I'm gonna read her bio and then we're gonna get started.

Kate Byrne grows things, people, businesses, movements, her career, marries her love of media, the power of technology, and the impact of heart to help people and business be forces for good. The Stanford grad is a trusted voice and cross-sector translator, a gifted rainmaker and team builder and a leader, voice in conscious leadership and the importance of trust as a form of capital.

Byrne has a successful track record as well as respected C-Suite executive leader at Blue Chip brands such as Katapult X SOCAP, Global Business Week Incorporated, Fast Company Tides, and the George Lucas Education Foundation. She is the strategic growth advisor to Good Light Capital Plus Media Solutions and Emerge Studios.

She's the host of two popular podcast Rebels with a Purpose and the editor of WomenAdvancing a part of the Media Video Image Network. Her creativity and strategic acumen. In building Vanguard products, one her recognition of on the coveted Folio Most Influential Media Leaders list. She's the co-founder and Stewardship Circle for the Next Economy

leading efforts to make the impact ecosystem more efficient, equitable, and broad reaching. She serves as an advisor to SOCAP and to the Tom Tom Foundation, an advocate for women and girls. Byrne is the former resident in the UN Women SF Board Commissioner for the Marin Women's Commission and Co-Chair for the Marin Teen Girls Conference.

She loves travel, hiking, scuba diving, music, dancing, yoga, sous cheffing, and her family, both two leggeds and four leggeds. A fourth generation Bay area, California native . She now lives in Charlottesville Virginia, welcome Kate. 

[00:02:33] Kate Byrne: Woo. Thank you Wendy. Great to be here. Excited to have a chance to sit down and chat.

[00:02:40] Wendy: Yeah, me too. And I have to say, actually reading the women's bios that come on the show is one of my favorite things, cuz I think it's always so important for somebody to hear back all the things they've done.

[00:02:50] Kate Byrne: Yeah. And it made me feel like I need to edit my bio.

[00:02:55] Wendy: No, I think it's great because I sometimes think that we don't realize until we hear it, we're like, oh, we did that. Which is a good thing to know.

[00:03:03] Kate Byrne: Yeah, and I think a big part of it to me too is there's so many facets to us. And to your point, there's this part and this part of me and this part of me and this part of me.

And so it, it was actually, thank you for that, cuz that was a gift to me. 

[00:03:18] Wendy: I'm glad to be able to do it. Let's talk about your topic. I love this. I'm all about self-care and there's so many different ways to do it. So for you, what does nourishing your soul mean?

[00:03:28] Kate Byrne: So, this has become a really important topic to me, especially when you've listened to that bio.

There's so much that we do, and some of it was helpful and terrific, and some of it maybe I could have passed on. So for me I've come to learn nourishing my souls is when I am being true to myself and I'm in alignment with me with what matters to me, that I'm working with people that are working in integrity, that doesn't mean that we agree on everything.

In fact, I actually think it's fun because I'm a lifelong learner, so I'm always really curious about, huh, that's fascinating. You see it that way. Tell me about that. But I also think it's essentially for lack of a better term, embracing my inner queen and being more discerning and making sure that I'm working in situations where I'm giving as much as I'm receiving.

[00:04:25] Wendy: And that's so interesting. I love that you said embracing your inner queen and do you think in all honesty, because I know when I was younger I was very outgoing and I was very like, I'm gonna take on the world. And so I would say a yes to a lot of things that I may not have now looking back had to do , but I Do you think that's part of it

that whole idea of discernment, like where it's based on our experience that it's okay to say no? 

[00:04:50] Kate Byrne: Yeah, absolutely. In fact, I just had a conversation with someone and if I could tell everyone who's listening, say no. And it doesn't mean you're weak. It doesn't mean you're selfish. It doesn't mean you can't.

Sometimes it might mean, no, not yet, not at this time, but really it's a form for me in a lot of ways. I finally came to learn, it's a form of strength and power, and I think I often said yes, because I'm the youngest of four and I was a surprise. So my closest sibling in age is nine years older

and I think for so often I needed to show I can do that. And if I said no, it meant I can't do that. It was somehow a reflection of a lack of capability on my part. No it's not. It's a part of just saying, Hey, look, done too much Uhuh. I gotta protect all this for something that really is truly in alignment where I can really better serve and showing up.

But I think it absolutely is. Come on, we were all raised nice girls say yes when a person asks you to dance with them. I just went to dancing school where I grew up and that was a big thing. And if you wanna be liked you need to be friendly to absolutely everybody and go above and beyond and realizing we always have to be more than enough as opposed to we are enough as we are.

If that makes sense. 

[00:06:15] Wendy: That makes perfect sense. As the youngest child and a cancer survivor, as a childhood cancer survivor, I am a hundred percent. I was like, I gotta do it. I gotta do it. I have to do it. And don't tell me I can't, cuz I grew up with don't do it. Don't do it.

And I was like, don't tell me not to do it. 

[00:06:29] Kate Byrne: Wendy you and I are cut from the same cloth the minute somebody said, oh, you can't do it. You don't need to do it. It's like, oh, well now I do. And I think it's important the sooner we embody that, we learn that we give ourselves permission and we actually embrace it.

I look so often to younger generations and I've got two daughters and a couple of stepdaughters and now some what I call bonus grand kidoodles . So who are three and seven and eight. And I want them to be really comfortable and just setting their own guidelines and boundaries.

And it's funny, I almost said limits and it's not limits because that makes it feel like a lack of capacity. For me, it's a boundary, it's a guideline that's different. That has nothing to do with capability. That just has to do with, Hey, I'm going here and that's good for me. Thanks. 

[00:07:24] Wendy: I completely agree with that and it's, for me, I know that it was really a difficult thing for me to start doing that because I always felt like I was letting somebody down, like what you were talking about and converting that thought process in my head, or even the way that I felt. It's so funny.

 It's almost like when you work for an organization and there's always this onus of you're replaceable and you really don't believe it. You somehow think you are the only one. And when I started to be okay with that, I could be replaceable. I know that sounds crazy.

It took so much pressure off of me to be like, yeah, you're right. I am replaceable. 

[00:08:02] Kate Byrne: I totally get it because the other piece of that is every relationship works both ways. So guess what? And this is what I'd love to see in this younger generations, you're replaceable to employer. So if I'm not liking what you're doing or how you're doing things, I know that can be a little bit edgy and people may not agree with that.

And that doesn't mean you just, pull up your tent the minute somebody doesn't do things you wanna do. But the truth of the matter is, I do believe, especially women, we all did, we took on a lot and we, we were treated certain ways. that we may not needed it to be. Found ourselves in situations and it doesn't even have to be, I'm not even speaking of like sexual harassment, that sort of thing that Yes.

That and, but even just bad tone of voice. Or the, be the good girl and set the marketing room up or oh my, you're good with numbers. Who knew?

[00:09:04] Wendy: I talk about this often. I come from a non-profit background. It's so funny.

I do marketing now, but I come from an non-profit background and I left when the president said to me, I can do this, but you can't because the arena that we were in was an all boys club and I was like, well, I also don't need to work here. That's fine with me. I think what we're talking about is finding our value.

[00:09:27] Kate Byrne: Exactly and us defining, and here's the deal, which I finally learned way too late in life, is, one, everyone does have their own unique value. Two, I think earlier on in life realize that we have everything we need in here, which is by the way, your soul and you nourish your soul when you turn internally, as opposed to looking externally to others for approval.

For the ADA girls, for the pats on the head, I'm sure it's great to get one here and there. That's fine, but I really do believe one of the most nourishing things is as long as you can do, you're doing right by you, and you know that, hey, at the end of the day, my dad always said, SIS, as long as you can look yourself in the mirror at the end of the day, smile.

But it's really true. Because then, I don't know, there's a resolve, there's a confidence that comes with that unwavering and you have such a comprehension of who you are, what your value is, what you have to give, and also what you would like to take and receive from others.

[00:10:39] Wendy: Exactly. And as you're talking and you're talking about younger generations, so my husband, I'll be very, he's a very steady Eddie. He's like job work, and he thinks his children should be the same way. We might have a difference of opinion in that. Because one of the things that I've learned, and I think it's been, especially cuz in marketing, we work with cross generations of those old ideologies versus those younger generation.

I've had the best graphic artists and they would send me stuff in the middle of the night and others would be like, doesn't that drive you crazy? No. They're phenomenal. And, I think that's the whole change we're seeing generationally, is this idea of allowing people to find what works for them. And I think when we were raised

conceptually, we didn't get that. It was, this is the way it was done. Well, why is this done? I don't know. There's a Christmas movie that has, I don't know if you've ever seen it's in the last two years, but it's a wonderful little cartoon. I can't think of the name of it, but it has these families that are feuding for years on this island, and they're like, why are you feuding?

Because this is what we've always done and we're trying to break that now I think is healthy. But we have a lot of the, this is what we've always done. 

[00:11:48] Kate Byrne: And I think what exactly, and I think it's so funny, I've heard that sort of told as there are certain people that cut the end of the ham off.

And it's like, why do you do that? Well, it's because that's what you do. And I think to me in looking at the multiple generations, and I'm actually, I love that you brought this a topic near and dear to my heart. I'm doing a talk about this at a Worldwide Happiness summit.

The different generations, cuz now we have five under one roof. And I'd like to look. The different generations and the different types of power that they respond to and how they do. And if I, everyone just remember, we were once the younger generation, we were the rabble rousers.

They're just, some of us, myself included, that continue to rabble ruse. And I often, and people get such a kick out of it, but it's really true. I was a millennial before it was a thing and I grew up with my father, God bless him, was an insurance guy and he was like, SIS, you're gonna have a very steady linear career.

I did lots of zigging and zagging and always achieving, always achieving. And now as I've gotten older, it is so prepared me, so listening to my own spirit. And in that sense, I didn't really care that much about what other people thought. there was a little voice inside that said, you're crazy like a fox and you're gonna do just fine.

And now interesting. So many people, oh my gosh. Could you tell me how you did it? La la la And really it was listening to my myself, and. I'm just getting it, getting these great opportunities. As long as I accomplished something, I always wanted to come in. I was an acting publisher over at Fast Company and it was the brand called Jew, right.

Back in the early days. And I really, that really resonated with me. And I, one of my favorite phrases, quotes, all who wander are not lost because they're not, to your point. And I think this younger generation really embodies that to A to a T but they're continuing to like the fact that you have all those Apple employees.

When Apple said, you gotta come back, and they're like, no. And okay, we gotta lose your job. Okay, I'm losing my job. They don't care. So, I have to say that can be frustrating at the same time, tap of the hat. We're all wired so differently and I think this upcoming generation they're gonna be the ones who are left with the situation that we've built.

And if they continue to do things the way we did, it's already over before it started. So of course they gotta do it differently, duh. So maybe we could learn from them and start finding a different sides of ourselves. 

[00:14:37] Wendy: Yeah. I can't agree more. I have a 20 year nine year old and a 17 year old in the way their brain thinks I'm like, Thank you.

[00:14:45] Kate Byrne: It's like, how did you see that? How did you know that? Just the instinctive. And you know what's interesting to me? And this is ironic, and it, you're just, it. You just hit something that's making me come to this. Here's the irony. I think, a lot of times we talk about the importance of connecting in person.

Importance of touch and I know younger set, they're all digital natives, so they're very used to screens. But hello a lot of those screens are touchscreens. So they are touching. But just a different way, I never really thought of that. I don't know why I felt like sharing that.

[00:15:15] Wendy: What's really interesting is, so obviously I've done social media for the last 11 years. My son, my youngest he's been allowed to be on it since he was 13. I'm like, made him wait till he was 13, but he was allowed to be on, he has no desire to be on it whatsoever. And it's hysterical to me because, and this is the difference is he's like

I don't need to be on there. He's like, not only do I not need to be on there, I don't care what other people think of me. And I'm like, oh, hallelujah and part of me is grateful. Like obviously we had the internet when I grew up. I remember my first typing class on a big bulky

apple where you had to PEMDAS oh my goodness not PEMDAS. 

[00:15:50] Kate Byrne: MSDOS 

[00:15:52] Wendy: Yeah, it was something like that. My gosh. We're going really back there. But anyway, but what's really funny about that is there was such a concern for everybody liking you and in those days in age, and now it's like.

[00:16:03] Kate Byrne: And fitting in.

[00:16:05] Wendy: And fitting and now he's like, yeah, I don't care. 

[00:16:09] Kate Byrne: Exactly. And standing out was, I don't know. I'm heartened by the level of individuality. Be it one's physical appearance. This is getting even more and more nuanced.

I'll put it that way. Which I think is great. And anyway, I'm refreshed, I feel very. Good about the future as long as, we still make sure that there's room for open conversation. 

[00:16:38] Wendy: And that's really what it boils down to. So I would love to know from you specifically, was there, we've talked a little bit about it already, but was there any specific point where you felt like, okay, I need to discover myself first?

My family thought I had lost my mind, becasue they thought Facebook was gonna close the next day. That kind of thing but for the first time I was like, this old way of working does not work for me.

So, I listened. So I was just curious if you had that one time where you're like, yeah, this is it. This is not working. 

[00:17:06] Kate Byrne: Yeah It's interesting. So we joke, my friends, my family, we joke that I've lived like nine lives. I've had so many re inventions, but really I think they're iterations of myself.

And I will tell you that there were probably a few early on that I didnt realize, so I had one very humbling situation where I was being groomed to be the president of a company. So I thought, and what had happened was we were part of a large, global conglomerate in the US division. and I had done something with technology, as in this is when apps were being built.

And we did a better job. We won awards, got all this notoriety, which was fantastic for the company, but the European headquarters didn't like it because they wanted them to do it. So I found myself all of a sudden out of the blue, my biggest fear, I got let go. I was like, wait a second. How could I possibly get let go?

I just did all this what, and I had, it was so heartening cuz as a leader, I worked with a lot of young guys and so I had a bunch of 27 year old guys crying because it was so unfair. And there was something inside me that said, okay, I don't know why, but it said, Katie, this is happening because, there's something so much better and you're off course.

and you're gonna need to be redirected. And I don't know where that sense of that came from, but most recently I've really had it in spades. Ironically working in the impact space. And you will have experienced similarly in the nonprofit space being an impact, being a non a nonprofit does not mean you get to treat people.

Unfairly, pay them lower wages, tell them you're gonna do one thing and not do it. And I found myself literally being treated like skulling made and I was running the thing, taking on everybody else's garbage and bad business decisions, turning it around and fixing it. Who knew? And, I finally said no, and I did it again the beginning of this year when I found myself working with, I'd taken a position with, a global entity, and I realized I got sick with Covid, which meant I had a 10 day trip, become a 25 day trip staring at white walls and realizing, Kate, this is really not working for you.

They're never gonna get it. You don't need to fix this. It's not yours to fix. And so as soon as I started realize this is the mutuality piece. Wait, can I come in and fix it? Sure. Have I done that in the past? Sure. Is that what I'm supposed to be doing right now? I was done. And then the other piece was when I recognized none of my old tricks worked.

Like I could figure out shortcuts. I could, and if it did, it was the relief was so in passing, so fleeting and I recognized, wow, sure. This complacency just wasn't my thing. I'm not wired for it. I wish I was way back when I had, started my career in World sales.

and I was very good at it. Which was fantastic. And man, I wish that was all I needed to do. And it wasn't enough, had nothing to do about me being enough. It was all of a sudden looking at where I was and with whom I was with, and they weren't enough for me.

And that was a really empowered ring. Spot. It also meant though then honest with Wendy that I had to sit and then really do that inner questioning and actually sit and listen. I don't know, I think so many of us will do our walking meditation or we'll do whatever. We'll do our journaling, and I find myself doing a lot of talking during meditation and then

and lot of storytelling as opposed to actually silencing, quieting, calming, and listening. So I'm really doing a lot of work on that. 

[00:21:25] Wendy: And there are some key things to that because I've had that same issue where I'm like okay, I'd like my brain to get quiet. It's not.

Which is good. There's moments in time that we need that. There's moments in time where we can really get like a download. And then there's other moments where you're like, oh. And actually as you were talking about non-profit, so my husband and I had started a nonprofit in Louisville doing homeless outrage.

We did a little bit of differently. We took no government grants whatsoever cuz we didn't wanna be told what to do. That was our goal. 

[00:21:54] Kate Byrne: Amen to that. I hear that. 

[00:21:55] Wendy: Not doing It that way. That's just not who we are. and well-intentioned people would come out and try to tell us what to do.

You get that, you're gonna get that. But there's a other side of that where you were just talking about, and I'm not trying to say this as negative, but there's this you're a nonprofit, you should try to get everything for free.

And we were like, No. No, you pay people what they're worth because otherwise that's taking advantage of people. And so that didn't really work for us and we were very successful in fundraising and all of that stuff. And we had a great nonprofit and actually when we left it, there was three to four clients that did so well one of them has taken over running it and there's a group of them that still do it that were actually clients at one time that are successful citizens. 

[00:22:38] Kate Byrne: That's great. 

[00:22:38] Wendy: And they changed the name, but they took over the following and all of that stuff.

But if we didn't follow and although there was issues with the city but saying that, If we didn't follow what we were gonna do, the way that we were gonna do it, and it took us eight years in and the pandemic to go, I think we're done.

I think it's okay. I think we can let it go and give it to somebody else. Like we had a really good run with this. But if we didn't do that all along that way, and then be able to be okay and get quiet at the end and go, okay, how are we gonna do this? Is this really what we want for our family anymore?

We've ready? We planted a seed and it's time to go but sometimes that requires that louder voice to keep you on path, and sometimes that requires that, okay, let's be quiet and figure this out. 

[00:23:26] Kate Byrne: No, exactly. And there's two things that you made me think of.

One, and this may outrage a lot of people, if I had it my way, yes, we need to fix corporations and companies and capitalism, et cetera, but honestly we need to fix nonprofit. If I had a, my way nonprofits would go away every company would be a hybrid.

You'd have within you a system circular economy where you have for-profit in nonprofit within, because everything would just be run from a place of enough as opposed to overspending, underspending, to your point, because then you really just, it's so disrespectful to your key resources, which are your people and yourself.

 Then the second piece was, I love that you and your husband came to a place where it was okay to let go, and I think with many entrepreneurs, it's your baby, it's your idea and recognizing, okay, sure you can hold onto to it, but you might run that thing into the ground. So if you really care what is the best thing.

For the entity and when you depersonalize it. I find, oh my gosh. Okay. One, get over myself. Two, it gives me so much greater clarity on what needs to be done and it makes it okay for me to say no. For me to let go. For me to say, oh, it's obvious. Who needs to be taking this over.

[00:24:54] Wendy: And, it's beautiful cuz we still see the stuff that's going on and they're doing an amazing job.

[00:24:58] Kate Byrne: Which is awesome. 

[00:24:59] Wendy: For us, that's what worked for us and I do agree that there needs to be I have found, and maybe it's because I, like I said, I worked in the nonprofit as a sector for a long time.

Is that there are people who make decisions on people's lives with and the money and how they need to spend the money. And you have to just be in this narrow criteria. And I'm like, humans don't work like that. That need help. I'm sorry. They're never gonna get to that perfect criteria. We're not really helping people that way.

So that's why I think private funding is a better solution. 

[00:25:29] Kate Byrne: I do too. Because you are also giving, I think it's Lynn Twist, who talks about, she's got extraordinary at the ask, but really it is you're giving somebody the opportunity to support something that's near and dear to their heart.

So that also means, hello, coming from the impact investing space where I am, you're gonna get, can't get much more patient capital than that. You're not gonna have that toe tapping. 

Exactly. And that's what you know, and we were very lucky that we tapped into that.

And because we did what we said we would do, that is the other part. 

 I swear that is my advice to my daughters. And I have said, if you are impeccable with your word and your action, swear to God. If you simply do what you say you're gonna do, and you show up and you do what you say you're gonna do, honestly sadly you are already such a standout. And now that they're getting out into the world they're seeing it, they're like, oh my gosh, these people, it's a thing. It's a thing. 

[00:26:25] Wendy: It's a key thing. So I wanna move on just a little bit, when it comes to female entrepreneurship for you, what are the signs as we're talking about all of this, of doing too much for others?

[00:26:35] Kate Byrne: Yeah. I think one, to me is you're just constantly exhausted and you're drained and you're not really, you're not even enjoying the things that obviously, that you used to enjoy, but where you also are saying yes, even if it puts what's important to you aside over and over again, and there's a lack of reciprocity.

So that when you do, come forth and you do ask for help and you're working with people that are just not willing to do it, and then finally the last thing is this belief that you'll give and give and give to others, but then when they do come and say, Hey, we'll help you, you say, no, no, no, I've got it.

I can do it all by myself. Because you can do that but what I think we all need to be reminded of is when we give others the opportunity to co-create. That's exactly what it is. You're co-creating and you're enabling and empowering someone else to discover and embrace their own magic.

And contribute their own gifts so that everything really, truly is a contribution of the group as opposed to just one. . 

[00:27:49] Wendy: I agree with that and I like the way that you said it cuz I've heard it said that like, when you allow other people to give your gift, allowing them to give gifts, which is good.

And I was that person who'd be like, no, I can handle everything. I'm good. And the problem with that is that I would get burned out or I would get resentful.

[00:28:07] Kate Byrne: This is the key, Wendy, you are resentful and you're bitter. And then all of a sudden, you have one finger pointing at others.

You have three pointing back at yourself. Yeah. I made this. And that's where you also have to sit with yourself and say, oh, I did this to myself, didn't I? And then be loving and being, and this is always better when you're rested and if you're exhausted, you won't be able to be kind to youself

and then begin in that downward spiral. But you're also, hello every body everything we do, people watch your team watches your kids watch, your spouse, your partner, what's said, what's not said, what's done, what's not done. And as soon as I recognized that it really made me, slow a minute and say, okay, what's best for the situation at hand?

And as we just stated earlier, then it became really clear. It more often, as fabulous as I may be I'm not always answer and it's kinda nice to hear someone else's thoughts, . 

[00:29:18] Wendy: And it's true. And once I realized that's what I was doing, I'm like, Nope, I'm good with help now. But 

 Me it's took practice as a, like this hero.

[00:29:27] Kate Byrne: The hero, my friend Abby Stason speaks to this all the time. It's like, oh, yeah, okay. You're in the hero narrative. All right. And it's really true. Wonder Woman. Take a second, take the cape off. Maybe take one of the bracelets off.

It's all, you're still all that in a bag of chips, but just. Be okay with, as they say, when do you lead from the bench versus when do you lead from the field? And it doesn't mean you're less than if you decide I'm calling it and done. 

[00:30:01] Wendy: That's a big thing, because, that goes back to value our self-worth. Because , if we are standing in our self-worth, we know we're okay. It's when we are not that it becomes like, oh my gosh. 

[00:30:13] Kate Byrne: And you know what else I come to realize too, for me, a little bit of it is also FOMO. So, okay. Here I've just poured myself in.

I've come up with all sorts of solutions. I've got everything working out, and now I'm exhausted. I'm done, and paid out. Well then the thing goes on to be this massive success. And my part wasn't to be there. While it was a massive success, I helped to get to where it needed to be and then handed it off.

And that's the piece that I still, obviously, you can tell as I say it, , I'm still working on that. Cause I do have a tendency to come in and help fix or rearrange whatever. Just go, oh, I get it. Beep, beep, beep. And realign. And then go, okay, I'm done. 

[00:30:58] Wendy: Yeah, I'm similar. We are really very similar.

It's a little scary.

So what is the first step to nourishing yourself? 

[00:31:05] Kate Byrne: Well, I took this and divided it into two. So really for me giving yourself permission to, oh, hello.

Do take care of yourself. Do say no. Don't beat yourself up but what I've started doing in from a mindful standpoint is I literally do this and it may sound I'm Callie Juju fourth generation, so I am what I am, and it runs deep and there's no ticking the Cali out of this girl and, I teach it wherever I go because it really.

I feel has been so incredibly helpful and I wish I'd embraced it earlier. But I really do, I start my day with wondering, okay, I wonder how abundance is gonna show up today. And then I sit down and I write three things I'm grateful for. Could be people, could be stuff, could be rain, could be the fact I'm gonna get to eat my favorite.

Muffin or whatever. Just silly, but doesn't matter. And then also three things that I'm really excited about, for the day. And then what I do is I end the day saying, okay, hey, so how did abundance show up? And then in my mind, one of my three big wins. The other piece, and this is where we may lose folks, but I do a lot of journaling, but I don't know if you know about, alternate.

Nostril breathing, which is from kundalini. So what you do is you take your thumb and your fourth finger, your ring finger, and you put, you breathe in, you put your thumb on one nostril, and you breathe in through that open nostril. Then you switch, you put your fourth finger, you put your finger and you your ring finger, and you close the other and you breathe.

And then you repeat. You breathe in with the open and then you breathe back out. And what happens is, and you breathe into the count of four, you hold for two, breathe out to the count of four, you hold for two. And it is amazing how that will just center you, calm you, your shoulders come down, and that monkey mind that we talked about.

It really puts it, at rest. It's astonishing. Another thing, and this is for those of you who like challenges I was working with an amazing, soul, Angelis Arian, may she rest in peace And she was this we bit of a little bask firecracker. And she was extraordinary known throughout the world.

people from all walks came to her. She's written great books. I urge everyone to look her up. And, I got to work in a number of different, workshops with her, one being the Fourfold Way. And she was explaining to me that for those of us who had monkey mind and a lot of insecurities, one of the fastest ways to nip that in the bud is a form of meditation called standing meditation.

She said, Kate, if you want to quiet that mind, I challenge you for a year to stand in silent standing meditation for 15 minutes every morning. And so , as you know, cuz you're the same way, I said, oh, game on and I'll tell you what. It was amazing. I even got to the point where I stopped fidgeting. And she was explaining that this is what a lot of old African warriors and even those who stand attention at certain palaces, the guards 

that's literally what they're doing. And it has been one of the greatest things, practices I've ever done. Even just the fact that I was able to do it. From a, practical standpoint, oh my gosh. Put yourself first. By that what I like to do is I do things that are important to me.

This is embracing your inner queen. So the stuff that's important to me, or if there's things that I've passionate about, or I'm gonna be doing a podcast or such, I put the first part of my day, and that could be from eight to 10, whatever it is I plan those things for me first thing in the morning.

And I block off that time because then I'm putting myself first. Done. So I get my, when I'm freshest, when I'm at my best done. And then I find that actually I'm fulfilled and I feel excited and I'm proud of myself and yay me. And then I go when I do the rest of the day and I give the rest of the day.

For others. And then what I've really started playing with, and this is advanced , but if you have the ability, I really did start blocking off Fridays and just saying, okay, I'm gonna do the bulk of my work Monday through Friday, and there's sometimes during the summer if I can do a portion of Monday 

and then that just left that day open for all sorts of, there was just space. So that gave me. And I really protect it too, where it gives me opportunities to, I don't know, oh my gosh, a sweet surprise. My daughter's gonna come up. We're gonna have lunch. Or, oh my gosh, I just ran into this really fascinating person.

I'm gonna go have, meet with them. Or, here's a terrific opportunity, or there's an amazing webinar that I want to go to. So all those moments of surprise and delight that are incredibly nourishing, especially when you're busy and you poke dot it throughout your week, it just, it fuels you.

So, and then I've got into reading again just cause and that has been yummy. And even at the end of the day when I'm wiped, cuz I get up super early, I somehow find a way to like, I'm gonna read a chapter and, it's helped my vocabulary. It's also just helped me think of things and inspired me and it's just also helped me hold things more lightly and then play.

Incorporating play in some shape or form throughout the day. 

[00:36:52] Wendy: Yeah. And I love every one of the things that you talked about. I could talk to you for another three hours.

 I wanna thank you for your time. I know you have two offers for our audience, so I'm gonna let you talk about those and how people can get in touch with you. 

[00:37:09] Kate Byrne: Sure. Great. So one is, I'm beginning to do more speaking and, public speaking and moderating, and then also some one-on-one work with folks.

And so if you're interested in learning more about that, I just ask you to reach out. I can be reached at kby413@yahoo.com. I have Gmail too, but that's how I stand out because I'm a Yahoo girl and also by all means, feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn.

The other piece is if you are a, mission-driven underrepresented founder in need of funding, I ask you to check out good light capital. We're mission-driven. Underrepresented founders are getting support they need to create and build greater impact. And the place you go there is www.goodlight.capital c a p i t a l.

And also you can always just reach out to me directly again and ask for more about that, but really trying to help, raise voices and give, find dollars for people who are doing amazing work and every single person, we're all doing it in one shape or form. So, I'd love to help. 

[00:38:20] Wendy: Thank you so much. This has been so fantastic.

I am so grateful you came on the show. I'm so glad we got the chance to record. This has been a great, great episode. 

[00:38:30] Kate Byrne: Ah, thank you Wendy. And we'll do part two, part three. Who knows? 

[00:38:33] Wendy: Yes. To all of our listeners, if you love this show, please make sure you subscribe for other self-care, podcasts that we'll be having along the way, and then also write a review.

We'd love to have you review it. In the meantime, have an abundant week and we'll see you next time.

 

Katherine “Kate” ByrneProfile Photo

Katherine “Kate” Byrne

C-Suite Executive Leader

Kate Byrne grows things; people, businesses, movements. Her career marries her love of media, the power of technology and the impact of heart to help people and business be forces for good. The Stanford grad is a trusted voice and cross-sector translator, a gifted rainmaker and team builder and a leading voice in conscious leadership and the importance of trust as a form of capital. Byrne has a successful track record as a well respected C-Suite executive leader at blue chip brands such as Katapult X, SOCAP Global, Businessweek, Inc, Fast Company, Tides, and the George Lucas Education Foundation. She is the Strategic Growth Advisor to GoodLight Capital, PlusMediaSolutions and Emerge Studios. She is the host of two popular podcasts, Rebels with a Purpose and the editor of WomenAdvancing, a part of the Media Village network. Her creativity and strategic acumen in building vanguard products won her recognition on the coveted Folio Most Influential Media Leaders list. She is the Co-Founder of the Stewardship Circle for the Next Economy leading efforts to make the impact ecosystem more efficient, equitable and broad reaching. She serves as an Advisor to SOCAP and to the TomTom Foundation. An advocate for women and girls, Byrne is the former resident of the UN Women SF Board, Commissioner for the Marin Women's Commission and co-Chair for the Marin Teen Girls Conference. She loves travel, hiking, scuba diving, music, dancing, yoga, sous cheffing and her family (both the two-leggeds and the four-leggeds). A 4th generation Bay Area California native, she now lives in Charl… Read More