Jan. 25, 2023

Kate Byrne - Nourishing Your Soul

Kate Byrne - Nourishing Your Soul
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Are you a female entrepreneur that gives to everyone else and then wonders why our business doesn’t flourish?  Or are you a female entrepreneur who wonders if their outside world reflects your inside world? 


On this episode of the Wellness and Wealth podcast, Katherine “Kate” Byrne  of PopVenture shares about practices that can help you nourish your soul.  She’ll also share why it’s saying no, it doesn't mean you can’t do something but that it doesn’t align with your current highest self. 


In this episode, Kate Byrne answers the following questions:


  • What does nourishing your soul mean to her?
  • How did she discover she needed to nourish herself first?
  • What warning signs are that a female entrepreneur is doing too much for others? 
  • What are the first steps to start nourishing yourself first? 



Offer:
Offer 1: Working with Kate 1:1 

Offer 2: finding out about capital for underrepresented founders. 


Link: Offer 1: Email kby413@yahoo.com 

Offer 2: www.goodlight.capital


Support the show

Connect with Wendy Manganaro:


Connect with Wendy Manganaro:  

Transcript
WEBVTT

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Hi everyone.

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My name's Wendy Manganaro and I am the Host of the Wellness and Wealth podcast.

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I'm so happy to have you find us.

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And if you could take a moment and hit that subscribe button, I'd really appreciate it.

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This is the podcast where we believe when you show up better for yourself as a woman business owner, you show up better for your business.

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So sit back, relax.

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And learn from the practical to the woo-hoo, how to best take care of you.

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Have a great day.

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Stay blessed.

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And leave a review when you're done listening to the show, thanks so much.

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Hi everyone.

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Today's topic is nourishing your soul and the impact on your business.

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I'm here with special guest Kate Byrne.

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I'm gonna read her bio and then we're gonna get started.

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Kate Byrne grows things, people, businesses, movements, her career, marries her love of media, the power of technology, and the impact of heart to help people and business be forces for good.

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The Stanford grad is a trusted voice and cross-sector translator, a gifted rainmaker and team builder and a leader, voice in conscious leadership and the importance of trust as a form of capital.

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Byrne has a successful track record as well as respected C-Suite executive leader at Blue Chip brands such as Katapult X SOCAP, Global Business Week Incorporated, Fast Company Tides, and the George Lucas Education Foundation.

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She is the strategic growth advisor to Good Light Capital Plus Media Solutions and Emerge Studios.

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She's the host of two popular podcast Rebels with a Purpose and the editor of WomenAdvancing a part of the Media Video Image Network.

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Her creativity and strategic acumen.

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In building Vanguard products, one her recognition of on the coveted Folio Most Influential Media Leaders list.

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She's the co-founder and Stewardship Circle for the Next Economy leading efforts to make the impact ecosystem more efficient, equitable, and broad reaching.

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She serves as an advisor to SOCAP and to the Tom Tom Foundation, an advocate for women and girls.

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Byrne is the former resident in the UN Women SF Board Commissioner for the Marin Women's Commission and Co-Chair for the Marin Teen Girls Conference.

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She loves travel, hiking, scuba diving, music, dancing, yoga, sous cheffing, and her family, both two leggeds and four leggeds.

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A fourth generation Bay area, California native She now lives in Charlottesville Virginia, welcome Kate.

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Woo.

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Thank you Wendy.

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Great to be here.

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Excited to have a chance to sit down and chat.

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Yeah, me too.

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And I have to say, actually reading the women's bios that come on the show is one of my favorite things, cuz I think it's always so important for somebody to hear back all the things they've done.

00:02:50.710 --> 00:02:51.159
Yeah.

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And it made me feel like I need to edit my bio.

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No, I think it's great because I sometimes think that we don't realize until we hear it, we're like, oh, we did that.

00:03:01.319 --> 00:03:02.520
Which is a good thing to know.

00:03:03.009 --> 00:03:07.680
Yeah, and I think a big part of it to me too is there's so many facets to us.

00:03:08.479 --> 00:03:13.340
And to your point, there's this part and this part of me and this part of me and this part of me.

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And so it, it was actually, thank you for that, cuz that was a gift to me.

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I'm glad to be able to do it.

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Let's talk about your topic.

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I love this.

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I'm all about self-care and there's so many different ways to do it.

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So for you, what does nourishing your soul mean?

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So, this has become a really important topic to me, especially when you've listened to that bio.

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There's so much that we do, and some of it was helpful and terrific, and some of it maybe I could have passed on.

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So for me I've come to learn nourishing my souls is when I am being true to myself and I'm in alignment with me with what matters to me, that I'm working with people that are working in integrity, that doesn't mean that we agree on everything.

00:03:59.395 --> 00:04:05.965
In fact, I actually think it's fun because I'm a lifelong learner, so I'm always really curious about, huh, that's fascinating.

00:04:05.965 --> 00:04:06.985
You see it that way.

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Tell me about that.

00:04:09.025 --> 00:04:24.079
But I also think it's essentially for lack of a better term, embracing my inner queen and being more discerning and making sure that I'm working in situations where I'm giving as much as I'm receiving.

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And that's so interesting.

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I love that you said embracing your inner queen and do you think in all honesty, because I know when I was younger I was very outgoing and I was very like, I'm gonna take on the world.

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And so I would say a yes to a lot of things that I may not have now looking back had to do but I Do you think that's part of it that whole idea of discernment, like where it's based on our experience that it's okay to say no?

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Yeah, absolutely.

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In fact, I just had a conversation with someone and if I could tell everyone who's listening, say no.

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And it doesn't mean you're weak.

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It doesn't mean you're selfish.

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It doesn't mean you can't.

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Sometimes it might mean, no, not yet, not at this time, but really it's a form for me in a lot of ways.

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I finally came to learn, it's a form of strength and power, and I think I often said yes, because I'm the youngest of four and I was a surprise.

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So my closest sibling in age is nine years older and I think for so often I needed to show I can do that.

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And if I said no, it meant I can't do that.

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It was somehow a reflection of a lack of capability on my part.

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No it's not.

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It's a part of just saying, Hey, look, done too much Uhuh.

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I gotta protect all this for something that really is truly in alignment where I can really better serve and showing up.

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But I think it absolutely is.

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Come on, we were all raised nice girls say yes when a person asks you to dance with them.

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I just went to dancing school where I grew up and that was a big thing.

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And if you wanna be liked you need to be friendly to absolutely everybody and go above and beyond and realizing we always have to be more than enough as opposed to we are enough as we are.

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If that makes sense.

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That makes perfect sense.

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As the youngest child and a cancer survivor, as a childhood cancer survivor, I am a hundred percent.

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I was like, I gotta do it.

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I gotta do it.

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I have to do it.

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And don't tell me I can't, cuz I grew up with don't do it.

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Don't do it.

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And I was like, don't tell me not to do it.

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Wendy you and I are cut from the same cloth the minute somebody said, oh, you can't do it.

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You don't need to do it.

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It's like, oh, well now I do.

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And I think it's important the sooner we embody that, we learn that we give ourselves permission and we actually embrace it.

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I look so often to younger generations and I've got two daughters and a couple of stepdaughters and now some what I call bonus grand kidoodles So who are three and seven and eight.

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And I want them to be really comfortable and just setting their own guidelines and boundaries.

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And it's funny, I almost said limits and it's not limits because that makes it feel like a lack of capacity.

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For me, it's a boundary, it's a guideline that's different.

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That has nothing to do with capability.

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That just has to do with, Hey, I'm going here and that's good for me.

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Thanks.

00:07:24.786 --> 00:07:39.146
I completely agree with that and it's, for me, I know that it was really a difficult thing for me to start doing that because I always felt like I was letting somebody down, like what you were talking about and converting that thought process in my head, or even the way that I felt.

00:07:39.146 --> 00:07:39.836
It's so funny.

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It's almost like when you work for an organization and there's always this onus of you're replaceable and you really don't believe it.

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You somehow think you are the only one.

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And when I started to be okay with that, I could be replaceable.

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I know that sounds crazy.

00:07:56.848 --> 00:08:00.959
It took so much pressure off of me to be like, yeah, you're right.

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I am replaceable.

00:08:02.759 --> 00:08:10.108
I totally get it because the other piece of that is every relationship works both ways.

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So guess what?

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And this is what I'd love to see in this younger generations, you're replaceable to employer.

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So if I'm not liking what you're doing or how you're doing things, I know that can be a little bit edgy and people may not agree with that.

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And that doesn't mean you just, pull up your tent the minute somebody doesn't do things you wanna do.

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But the truth of the matter is, I do believe, especially women, we all did, we took on a lot and we, we were treated certain ways.

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that we may not needed it to be.

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Found ourselves in situations and it doesn't even have to be, I'm not even speaking of like sexual harassment, that sort of thing that Yes.

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That and, but even just bad tone of voice.

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Or the, be the good girl and set the marketing room up or oh my, you're good with numbers.

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Who knew?

00:09:04.354 --> 00:09:05.494
I talk about this often.

00:09:05.594 --> 00:09:07.033
I come from a non-profit background.

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It's so funny.

00:09:07.453 --> 00:09:20.599
I do marketing now, but I come from an non-profit background and I left when the president said to me, I can do this, but you can't because the arena that we were in was an all boys club and I was like, well, I also don't need to work here.

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That's fine with me.

00:09:24.438 --> 00:09:26.818
I think what we're talking about is finding our value.

00:09:27.058 --> 00:09:38.259
Exactly and us defining, and here's the deal, which I finally learned way too late in life, is, one, everyone does have their own unique value.

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Two, I think earlier on in life realize that we have everything we need in here, which is by the way, your soul and you nourish your soul when you turn internally, as opposed to looking externally to others for approval.

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For the ADA girls, for the pats on the head, I'm sure it's great to get one here and there.

00:10:02.494 --> 00:10:16.859
That's fine, but I really do believe one of the most nourishing things is as long as you can do, you're doing right by you, and you know that, hey, at the end of the day, my dad always said, SIS, as long as you can look yourself in the mirror at the end of the day, smile.

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But it's really true.

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Because then, I don't know, there's a resolve, there's a confidence that comes with that unwavering and you have such a comprehension of who you are, what your value is, what you have to give, and also what you would like to take and receive from others.

00:10:39.844 --> 00:10:40.269
Exactly.

00:10:40.269 --> 00:10:46.764
And as you're talking and you're talking about younger generations, so my husband, I'll be very, he's a very steady Eddie.

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He's like job work, and he thinks his children should be the same way.

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We might have a difference of opinion in that.

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Because one of the things that I've learned, and I think it's been, especially cuz in marketing, we work with cross generations of those old ideologies versus those younger generation.

00:11:03.357 --> 00:11:09.113
I've had the best graphic artists and they would send me stuff in the middle of the night and others would be like, doesn't that drive you crazy?

00:11:09.113 --> 00:11:09.743
No.

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They're phenomenal.

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And, I think that's the whole change we're seeing generationally, is this idea of allowing people to find what works for them.

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And I think when we were raised conceptually, we didn't get that.

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It was, this is the way it was done.

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Well, why is this done?

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I don't know.

00:11:27.062 --> 00:11:32.432
There's a Christmas movie that has, I don't know if you've ever seen it's in the last two years, but it's a wonderful little cartoon.

00:11:32.432 --> 00:11:39.003
I can't think of the name of it, but it has these families that are feuding for years on this island, and they're like, why are you feuding?

00:11:39.003 --> 00:11:43.581
Because this is what we've always done and we're trying to break that now I think is healthy.

00:11:44.270 --> 00:11:47.571
But we have a lot of the, this is what we've always done.

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And I think what exactly, and I think it's so funny, I've heard that sort of told as there are certain people that cut the end of the ham off.

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And it's like, why do you do that?

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Well, it's because that's what you do.

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And I think to me in looking at the multiple generations, and I'm actually, I love that you brought this a topic near and dear to my heart.

00:12:06.826 --> 00:12:11.216
I'm doing a talk about this at a Worldwide Happiness summit.

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The different generations, cuz now we have five under one roof.

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And I'd like to look.

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The different generations and the different types of power that they respond to and how they do.

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And if I, everyone just remember, we were once the younger generation, we were the rabble rousers.

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They're just, some of us, myself included, that continue to rabble ruse.

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And I often, and people get such a kick out of it, but it's really true.

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I was a millennial before it was a thing and I grew up with my father, God bless him, was an insurance guy and he was like, SIS, you're gonna have a very steady linear career.

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I did lots of zigging and zagging and always achieving, always achieving.

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And now as I've gotten older, it is so prepared me, so listening to my own spirit.

00:13:04.211 --> 00:13:09.370
And in that sense, I didn't really care that much about what other people thought.

00:13:10.846 --> 00:13:15.046
there was a little voice inside that said, you're crazy like a fox and you're gonna do just fine.

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And now interesting.

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So many people, oh my gosh.

00:13:18.735 --> 00:13:19.995
Could you tell me how you did it?

00:13:20.056 --> 00:13:25.541
La la la And really it was listening to my myself, and.

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I'm just getting it, getting these great opportunities.

00:13:28.546 --> 00:13:31.485
As long as I accomplished something, I always wanted to come in.

00:13:31.515 --> 00:13:36.495
I was an acting publisher over at Fast Company and it was the brand called Jew, right.

00:13:36.556 --> 00:13:37.725
Back in the early days.

00:13:38.176 --> 00:13:41.836
And I really, that really resonated with me.

00:13:42.436 --> 00:13:49.936
And I, one of my favorite phrases, quotes, all who wander are not lost because they're not, to your point.

00:13:49.941 --> 00:14:00.383
And I think this younger generation really embodies that to A to a T but they're continuing to like the fact that you have all those Apple employees.

00:14:00.743 --> 00:14:03.923
When Apple said, you gotta come back, and they're like, no.

00:14:04.043 --> 00:14:05.572
And okay, we gotta lose your job.

00:14:05.602 --> 00:14:07.793
Okay, I'm losing my job.

00:14:08.302 --> 00:14:09.052
They don't care.

00:14:09.623 --> 00:14:13.817
So, I have to say that can be frustrating at the same time, tap of the hat.

00:14:13.977 --> 00:14:22.732
We're all wired so differently and I think this upcoming generation they're gonna be the ones who are left with the situation that we've built.

00:14:23.663 --> 00:14:27.832
And if they continue to do things the way we did, it's already over before it started.

00:14:27.883 --> 00:14:30.493
So of course they gotta do it differently, duh.

00:14:30.702 --> 00:14:36.322
So maybe we could learn from them and start finding a different sides of ourselves.

00:14:37.253 --> 00:14:37.462
Yeah.

00:14:37.493 --> 00:14:38.482
I can't agree more.

00:14:38.523 --> 00:14:44.613
I have a 20 year nine year old and a 17 year old in the way their brain thinks I'm like, Thank you.

00:14:45.182 --> 00:14:46.773
It's like, how did you see that?

00:14:46.873 --> 00:14:48.008
How did you know that?

00:14:48.008 --> 00:14:49.148
Just the instinctive.

00:14:49.658 --> 00:14:51.097
And you know what's interesting to me?

00:14:51.158 --> 00:14:52.957
And this is ironic, and it, you're just, it.

00:14:53.077 --> 00:14:55.388
You just hit something that's making me come to this.

00:14:55.717 --> 00:14:56.587
Here's the irony.

00:14:56.587 --> 00:15:00.347
I think, a lot of times we talk about the importance of connecting in person.

00:15:00.427 --> 00:15:07.253
Importance of touch and I know younger set, they're all digital natives, so they're very used to screens.

00:15:07.432 --> 00:15:10.222
But hello a lot of those screens are touchscreens.

00:15:10.562 --> 00:15:11.432
So they are touching.

00:15:11.513 --> 00:15:13.773
But just a different way, I never really thought of that.

00:15:13.773 --> 00:15:15.033
I don't know why I felt like sharing that.

00:15:15.082 --> 00:15:19.373
What's really interesting is, so obviously I've done social media for the last 11 years.

00:15:19.432 --> 00:15:22.893
My son, my youngest he's been allowed to be on it since he was 13.

00:15:22.898 --> 00:15:27.363
I'm like, made him wait till he was 13, but he was allowed to be on, he has no desire to be on it whatsoever.

00:15:27.722 --> 00:15:32.597
And it's hysterical to me because, and this is the difference is he's like I don't need to be on there.

00:15:32.868 --> 00:15:36.700
He's like, not only do I not need to be on there, I don't care what other people think of me.

00:15:36.700 --> 00:15:39.894
And I'm like, oh, hallelujah and part of me is grateful.

00:15:39.899 --> 00:15:42.475
Like obviously we had the internet when I grew up.

00:15:42.475 --> 00:15:50.240
I remember my first typing class on a big bulky apple where you had to PEMDAS oh my goodness not PEMDAS.

00:15:50.240 --> 00:15:52.539
MSDOS

00:15:52.919 --> 00:15:54.240
Yeah, it was something like that.

00:15:54.240 --> 00:15:54.659
My gosh.

00:15:54.659 --> 00:15:55.649
We're going really back there.

00:15:55.649 --> 00:16:03.710
But anyway, but what's really funny about that is there was such a concern for everybody liking you and in those days in age, and now it's like.

00:16:03.889 --> 00:16:04.940
And fitting in.

00:16:05.299 --> 00:16:08.190
And fitting and now he's like, yeah, I don't care.

00:16:09.210 --> 00:16:10.049
Exactly.

00:16:10.049 --> 00:16:12.809
And standing out was, I don't know.

00:16:12.865 --> 00:16:16.495
I'm heartened by the level of individuality.

00:16:16.500 --> 00:16:18.330
Be it one's physical appearance.

00:16:18.570 --> 00:16:23.565
This is getting even more and more nuanced.

00:16:23.644 --> 00:16:24.274
I'll put it that way.

00:16:24.544 --> 00:16:27.125
Which I think is great.

00:16:27.845 --> 00:16:30.840
And anyway, I'm refreshed, I feel very.

00:16:32.389 --> 00:16:38.139
Good about the future as long as, we still make sure that there's room for open conversation.

00:16:38.490 --> 00:16:39.840
And that's really what it boils down to.

00:16:39.840 --> 00:16:51.320
So I would love to know from you specifically, was there, we've talked a little bit about it already, but was there any specific point where you felt like, okay, I need to discover myself first?

00:16:51.320 --> 00:16:55.719
My family thought I had lost my mind, becasue they thought Facebook was gonna close the next day.

00:16:55.719 --> 00:16:59.769
That kind of thing but for the first time I was like, this old way of working does not work for me.

00:17:00.038 --> 00:17:00.938
So, I listened.

00:17:00.938 --> 00:17:05.239
So I was just curious if you had that one time where you're like, yeah, this is it.

00:17:05.419 --> 00:17:06.439
This is not working.

00:17:06.489 --> 00:17:08.144
Yeah It's interesting.

00:17:08.294 --> 00:17:13.503
So we joke, my friends, my family, we joke that I've lived like nine lives.

00:17:13.534 --> 00:17:21.183
I've had so many re inventions, but really I think they're iterations of myself.

00:17:21.963 --> 00:17:39.953
And I will tell you that there were probably a few early on that I didnt realize, so I had one very humbling situation where I was being groomed to be the president of a company.

00:17:39.953 --> 00:17:46.034
So I thought, and what had happened was we were part of a large, global conglomerate in the US division.

00:17:47.409 --> 00:17:51.044
and I had done something with technology, as in this is when apps were being built.

00:17:51.144 --> 00:17:52.469
And we did a better job.

00:17:52.769 --> 00:18:02.203
We won awards, got all this notoriety, which was fantastic for the company, but the European headquarters didn't like it because they wanted them to do it.

00:18:02.203 --> 00:18:08.903
So I found myself all of a sudden out of the blue, my biggest fear, I got let go.

00:18:08.943 --> 00:18:10.709
I was like, wait a second.

00:18:10.709 --> 00:18:12.269
How could I possibly get let go?

00:18:12.269 --> 00:18:25.128
I just did all this what, and I had, it was so heartening cuz as a leader, I worked with a lot of young guys and so I had a bunch of 27 year old guys crying because it was so unfair.

00:18:25.368 --> 00:18:36.009
And there was something inside me that said, okay, I don't know why, but it said, Katie, this is happening because, there's something so much better and you're off course.

00:18:36.773 --> 00:18:38.243
and you're gonna need to be redirected.

00:18:38.784 --> 00:18:48.023
And I don't know where that sense of that came from, but most recently I've really had it in spades.

00:18:48.653 --> 00:18:50.874
Ironically working in the impact space.

00:18:51.183 --> 00:19:00.814
And you will have experienced similarly in the nonprofit space being an impact, being a non a nonprofit does not mean you get to treat people.

00:19:01.653 --> 00:19:07.534
Unfairly, pay them lower wages, tell them you're gonna do one thing and not do it.

00:19:08.013 --> 00:19:21.753
And I found myself literally being treated like skulling made and I was running the thing, taking on everybody else's garbage and bad business decisions, turning it around and fixing it.

00:19:21.903 --> 00:19:22.653
Who knew?

00:19:23.374 --> 00:19:46.013
And, I finally said no, and I did it again the beginning of this year when I found myself working with, I'd taken a position with, a global entity, and I realized I got sick with Covid, which meant I had a 10 day trip, become a 25 day trip staring at white walls and realizing, Kate, this is really not working for you.

00:19:46.064 --> 00:19:47.084
They're never gonna get it.

00:19:47.084 --> 00:19:48.104
You don't need to fix this.

00:19:48.104 --> 00:19:49.483
It's not yours to fix.

00:19:50.294 --> 00:19:54.403
And so as soon as I started realize this is the mutuality piece.

00:19:54.943 --> 00:19:57.134
Wait, can I come in and fix it?

00:19:57.134 --> 00:19:57.644
Sure.

00:19:57.644 --> 00:19:58.753
Have I done that in the past?

00:19:58.753 --> 00:19:59.413
Sure.

00:19:59.773 --> 00:20:02.413
Is that what I'm supposed to be doing right now?

00:20:02.463 --> 00:20:03.213
I was done.

00:20:03.213 --> 00:20:10.134
And then the other piece was when I recognized none of my old tricks worked.

00:20:11.943 --> 00:20:14.273
Like I could figure out shortcuts.

00:20:14.273 --> 00:20:23.003
I could, and if it did, it was the relief was so in passing, so fleeting and I recognized, wow, sure.

00:20:23.003 --> 00:20:25.713
This complacency just wasn't my thing.

00:20:25.713 --> 00:20:27.094
I'm not wired for it.

00:20:27.153 --> 00:20:33.644
I wish I was way back when I had, started my career in World sales.

00:20:34.778 --> 00:20:35.864
and I was very good at it.

00:20:35.874 --> 00:20:36.653
Which was fantastic.

00:20:36.703 --> 00:20:39.673
And man, I wish that was all I needed to do.

00:20:40.423 --> 00:20:44.003
And it wasn't enough, had nothing to do about me being enough.

00:20:44.003 --> 00:20:50.604
It was all of a sudden looking at where I was and with whom I was with, and they weren't enough for me.

00:20:50.903 --> 00:20:53.279
And that was a really empowered ring.

00:20:53.365 --> 00:20:54.025
Spot.

00:20:54.295 --> 00:21:03.345
It also meant though then honest with Wendy that I had to sit and then really do that inner questioning and actually sit and listen.

00:21:03.704 --> 00:21:07.744
I don't know, I think so many of us will do our walking meditation or we'll do whatever.

00:21:07.744 --> 00:21:21.470
We'll do our journaling, and I find myself doing a lot of talking during meditation and then and lot of storytelling as opposed to actually silencing, quieting, calming, and listening.

00:21:22.849 --> 00:21:24.799
So I'm really doing a lot of work on that.

00:21:25.505 --> 00:21:31.434
And there are some key things to that because I've had that same issue where I'm like okay, I'd like my brain to get quiet.

00:21:31.464 --> 00:21:32.125
It's not.

00:21:32.829 --> 00:21:33.430
Which is good.

00:21:33.440 --> 00:21:35.480
There's moments in time that we need that.

00:21:35.480 --> 00:21:38.480
There's moments in time where we can really get like a download.

00:21:39.394 --> 00:21:41.615
And then there's other moments where you're like, oh.

00:21:41.615 --> 00:21:48.095
And actually as you were talking about non-profit, so my husband and I had started a nonprofit in Louisville doing homeless outrage.

00:21:48.625 --> 00:21:49.884
We did a little bit of differently.

00:21:49.890 --> 00:21:53.099
We took no government grants whatsoever cuz we didn't wanna be told what to do.

00:21:53.160 --> 00:21:54.029
That was our goal.

00:21:54.069 --> 00:21:55.089
Amen to that.

00:21:55.089 --> 00:21:55.599
I hear that.

00:21:55.630 --> 00:21:56.637
Not doing It that way.

00:21:56.637 --> 00:21:57.988
That's just not who we are.

00:21:59.532 --> 00:22:02.803
and well-intentioned people would come out and try to tell us what to do.

00:22:02.803 --> 00:22:04.123
You get that, you're gonna get that.

00:22:04.663 --> 00:22:12.923
But there's a other side of that where you were just talking about, and I'm not trying to say this as negative, but there's this you're a nonprofit, you should try to get everything for free.

00:22:12.923 --> 00:22:14.262
And we were like, No.

00:22:15.330 --> 00:22:21.451
No, you pay people what they're worth because otherwise that's taking advantage of people.

00:22:21.721 --> 00:22:26.641
And so that didn't really work for us and we were very successful in fundraising and all of that stuff.

00:22:26.641 --> 00:22:38.163
And we had a great nonprofit and actually when we left it, there was three to four clients that did so well one of them has taken over running it and there's a group of them that still do it that were actually clients at one time that are successful citizens.

00:22:38.163 --> 00:22:38.884
That's great.

00:22:38.923 --> 00:22:42.253
And they changed the name, but they took over the following and all of that stuff.

00:22:42.824 --> 00:22:57.702
But if we didn't follow and although there was issues with the city but saying that, If we didn't follow what we were gonna do, the way that we were gonna do it, and it took us eight years in and the pandemic to go, I think we're done.

00:22:57.762 --> 00:22:58.692
I think it's okay.

00:22:58.698 --> 00:23:00.883
I think we can let it go and give it to somebody else.

00:23:00.883 --> 00:23:03.282
Like we had a really good run with this.

00:23:04.363 --> 00:23:11.863
But if we didn't do that all along that way, and then be able to be okay and get quiet at the end and go, okay, how are we gonna do this?

00:23:11.863 --> 00:23:13.992
Is this really what we want for our family anymore?

00:23:13.992 --> 00:23:14.502
We've ready?

00:23:14.502 --> 00:23:26.428
We planted a seed and it's time to go but sometimes that requires that louder voice to keep you on path, and sometimes that requires that, okay, let's be quiet and figure this out.

00:23:26.877 --> 00:23:27.897
No, exactly.

00:23:27.897 --> 00:23:29.843
And there's two things that you made me think of.

00:23:29.843 --> 00:23:41.728
One, and this may outrage a lot of people, if I had it my way, yes, we need to fix corporations and companies and capitalism, et cetera, but honestly we need to fix nonprofit.

00:23:42.073 --> 00:23:45.913
If I had a, my way nonprofits would go away every company would be a hybrid.

00:23:46.623 --> 00:24:09.952
You'd have within you a system circular economy where you have for-profit in nonprofit within, because everything would just be run from a place of enough as opposed to overspending, underspending, to your point, because then you really just, it's so disrespectful to your key resources, which are your people and yourself.

00:24:09.952 --> 00:24:32.073
Then the second piece was, I love that you and your husband came to a place where it was okay to let go, and I think with many entrepreneurs, it's your baby, it's your idea and recognizing, okay, sure you can hold onto to it, but you might run that thing into the ground.

00:24:32.432 --> 00:24:35.823
So if you really care what is the best thing.

00:24:35.873 --> 00:24:39.617
For the entity and when you depersonalize it.

00:24:39.617 --> 00:24:40.938
I find, oh my gosh.

00:24:41.897 --> 00:24:41.982
Okay.

00:24:41.982 --> 00:24:43.123
One, get over myself.

00:24:43.123 --> 00:24:50.073
Two, it gives me so much greater clarity on what needs to be done and it makes it okay for me to say no.

00:24:50.133 --> 00:24:51.153
For me to let go.

00:24:51.242 --> 00:24:52.623
For me to say, oh, it's obvious.

00:24:52.623 --> 00:24:54.093
Who needs to be taking this over.

00:24:54.423 --> 00:24:58.462
And, it's beautiful cuz we still see the stuff that's going on and they're doing an amazing job.

00:24:58.462 --> 00:24:59.452
Which is awesome.

00:24:59.502 --> 00:25:07.607
For us, that's what worked for us and I do agree that there needs to be I have found, and maybe it's because I, like I said, I worked in the nonprofit as a sector for a long time.

00:25:07.903 --> 00:25:13.512
Is that there are people who make decisions on people's lives with and the money and how they need to spend the money.

00:25:13.873 --> 00:25:17.573
And you have to just be in this narrow criteria.

00:25:17.573 --> 00:25:19.373
And I'm like, humans don't work like that.

00:25:19.373 --> 00:25:20.002
That need help.

00:25:20.063 --> 00:25:21.022
I'm sorry.

00:25:21.028 --> 00:25:23.423
They're never gonna get to that perfect criteria.

00:25:23.423 --> 00:25:25.462
We're not really helping people that way.

00:25:25.623 --> 00:25:28.992
So that's why I think private funding is a better solution.

00:25:29.698 --> 00:25:30.417
I do too.

00:25:30.567 --> 00:25:42.423
Because you are also giving, I think it's Lynn Twist, who talks about, she's got extraordinary at the ask, but really it is you're giving somebody the opportunity to support something that's near and dear to their heart.

00:25:42.782 --> 00:25:50.613
So that also means, hello, coming from the impact investing space where I am, you're gonna get, can't get much more patient capital than that.

00:25:51.577 --> 00:25:53.107
You're not gonna have that toe tapping.

00:25:53.468 --> 00:25:54.008
Exactly.

00:25:54.008 --> 00:25:57.042
And that's what you know, and we were very lucky that we tapped into that.

00:25:57.093 --> 00:25:59.673
And because we did what we said we would do, that is the other part.

00:25:59.772 --> 00:26:02.413
I swear that is my advice to my daughters.

00:26:02.413 --> 00:26:06.942
And I have said, if you are impeccable with your word and your action, swear to God.

00:26:06.942 --> 00:26:18.163
If you simply do what you say you're gonna do, and you show up and you do what you say you're gonna do, honestly sadly you are already such a standout.

00:26:18.413 --> 00:26:24.363
And now that they're getting out into the world they're seeing it, they're like, oh my gosh, these people, it's a thing.

00:26:24.393 --> 00:26:25.002
It's a thing.

00:26:25.002 --> 00:26:25.728
It's a key thing.

00:26:26.038 --> 00:26:33.383
So I wanna move on just a little bit, when it comes to female entrepreneurship for you, what are the signs as we're talking about all of this, of doing too much for others?

00:26:35.587 --> 00:26:36.097
Yeah.

00:26:36.127 --> 00:26:58.567
I think one, to me is you're just constantly exhausted and you're drained and you're not really, you're not even enjoying the things that obviously, that you used to enjoy, but where you also are saying yes, even if it puts what's important to you aside over and over again, and there's a lack of reciprocity.

00:26:59.383 --> 00:27:19.762
So that when you do, come forth and you do ask for help and you're working with people that are just not willing to do it, and then finally the last thing is this belief that you'll give and give and give to others, but then when they do come and say, Hey, we'll help you, you say, no, no, no, I've got it.

00:27:19.762 --> 00:27:20.992
I can do it all by myself.

00:27:21.502 --> 00:27:29.722
Because you can do that but what I think we all need to be reminded of is when we give others the opportunity to co-create.

00:27:30.353 --> 00:27:31.432
That's exactly what it is.

00:27:31.432 --> 00:27:38.272
You're co-creating and you're enabling and empowering someone else to discover and embrace their own magic.

00:27:38.603 --> 00:27:48.353
And contribute their own gifts so that everything really, truly is a contribution of the group as opposed to just one.

00:27:49.768 --> 00:27:57.567
I agree with that and I like the way that you said it cuz I've heard it said that like, when you allow other people to give your gift, allowing them to give gifts, which is good.

00:27:58.137 --> 00:28:01.268
And I was that person who'd be like, no, I can handle everything.

00:28:01.268 --> 00:28:01.807
I'm good.

00:28:01.857 --> 00:28:06.478
And the problem with that is that I would get burned out or I would get resentful.

00:28:07.123 --> 00:28:10.792
This is the key, Wendy, you are resentful and you're bitter.

00:28:11.002 --> 00:28:13.813
And then all of a sudden, you have one finger pointing at others.

00:28:13.813 --> 00:28:15.613
You have three pointing back at yourself.

00:28:15.942 --> 00:28:16.093
Yeah.

00:28:16.603 --> 00:28:17.653
I made this.

00:28:18.373 --> 00:28:24.643
And that's where you also have to sit with yourself and say, oh, I did this to myself, didn't I?

00:28:24.698 --> 00:28:34.432
And then be loving and being, and this is always better when you're rested and if you're exhausted, you won't be able to be kind to youself and then begin in that downward spiral.

00:28:34.643 --> 00:28:52.462
But you're also, hello every body everything we do, people watch your team watches your kids watch, your spouse, your partner, what's said, what's not said, what's done, what's not done.

00:28:53.163 --> 00:29:04.528
And as soon as I recognized that it really made me, slow a minute and say, okay, what's best for the situation at hand?

00:29:04.798 --> 00:29:07.407
And as we just stated earlier, then it became really clear.

00:29:07.528 --> 00:29:16.167
It more often, as fabulous as I may be I'm not always answer and it's kinda nice to hear someone else's thoughts,

00:29:18.327 --> 00:29:19.367
And it's true.

00:29:19.367 --> 00:29:24.337
And once I realized that's what I was doing, I'm like, Nope, I'm good with help now.

00:29:24.337 --> 00:29:26.857
But Me it's took practice as a, like this hero.

00:29:27.317 --> 00:29:32.028
The hero, my friend Abby Stason speaks to this all the time.

00:29:32.028 --> 00:29:33.377
It's like, oh, yeah, okay.

00:29:33.587 --> 00:29:34.728
You're in the hero narrative.

00:29:34.728 --> 00:29:35.417
All right.

00:29:35.778 --> 00:29:36.647
And it's really true.

00:29:36.647 --> 00:29:37.397
Wonder Woman.

00:29:37.708 --> 00:29:39.867
Take a second, take the cape off.

00:29:40.018 --> 00:29:41.728
Maybe take one of the bracelets off.

00:29:41.728 --> 00:29:44.968
It's all, you're still all that in a bag of chips, but just.

00:29:46.482 --> 00:29:52.563
Be okay with, as they say, when do you lead from the bench versus when do you lead from the field?

00:29:52.932 --> 00:30:00.522
And it doesn't mean you're less than if you decide I'm calling it and done.

00:30:01.512 --> 00:30:04.932
That's a big thing, because, that goes back to value our self-worth.

00:30:04.932 --> 00:30:08.863
Because if we are standing in our self-worth, we know we're okay.

00:30:09.403 --> 00:30:13.692
It's when we are not that it becomes like, oh my gosh.

00:30:13.932 --> 00:30:19.603
And you know what else I come to realize too, for me, a little bit of it is also FOMO.

00:30:20.262 --> 00:30:21.163
So, okay.

00:30:21.163 --> 00:30:23.022
Here I've just poured myself in.

00:30:23.022 --> 00:30:24.913
I've come up with all sorts of solutions.

00:30:24.972 --> 00:30:28.903
I've got everything working out, and now I'm exhausted.

00:30:28.903 --> 00:30:30.518
I'm done, and paid out.

00:30:31.238 --> 00:30:35.617
Well then the thing goes on to be this massive success.

00:30:36.218 --> 00:30:40.093
And my part wasn't to be there.

00:30:40.093 --> 00:30:44.323
While it was a massive success, I helped to get to where it needed to be and then handed it off.

00:30:44.593 --> 00:30:50.212
And that's the piece that I still, obviously, you can tell as I say it, I'm still working on that.

00:30:50.732 --> 00:30:54.093
Cause I do have a tendency to come in and help fix or rearrange whatever.

00:30:54.093 --> 00:30:55.532
Just go, oh, I get it.

00:30:55.772 --> 00:30:56.173
Beep, beep, beep.

00:30:56.653 --> 00:30:57.238
And realign.

00:30:57.478 --> 00:30:58.798
And then go, okay, I'm done.

00:30:58.948 --> 00:30:59.988
Yeah, I'm similar.

00:31:00.018 --> 00:31:01.278
We are really very similar.

00:31:01.278 --> 00:31:02.147
It's a little scary.

00:31:02.181 --> 00:31:04.526
So what is the first step to nourishing yourself?

00:31:05.385 --> 00:31:07.875
Well, I took this and divided it into two.

00:31:07.875 --> 00:31:10.905
So really for me giving yourself permission to, oh, hello.

00:31:11.655 --> 00:31:12.766
Do take care of yourself.

00:31:12.770 --> 00:31:13.576
Do say no.

00:31:13.605 --> 00:31:31.780
Don't beat yourself up but what I've started doing in from a mindful standpoint is I literally do this and it may sound I'm Callie Juju fourth generation, so I am what I am, and it runs deep and there's no ticking the Cali out of this girl and, I teach it wherever I go because it really.

00:31:32.096 --> 00:31:36.506
I feel has been so incredibly helpful and I wish I'd embraced it earlier.

00:31:37.046 --> 00:31:43.526
But I really do, I start my day with wondering, okay, I wonder how abundance is gonna show up today.

00:31:44.066 --> 00:31:46.826
And then I sit down and I write three things I'm grateful for.

00:31:46.976 --> 00:31:51.201
Could be people, could be stuff, could be rain, could be the fact I'm gonna get to eat my favorite.

00:31:51.576 --> 00:31:52.885
Muffin or whatever.

00:31:52.925 --> 00:31:55.145
Just silly, but doesn't matter.

00:31:55.576 --> 00:31:59.340
And then also three things that I'm really excited about, for the day.

00:31:59.611 --> 00:32:04.590
And then what I do is I end the day saying, okay, hey, so how did abundance show up?

00:32:05.161 --> 00:32:07.651
And then in my mind, one of my three big wins.

00:32:08.151 --> 00:32:15.215
The other piece, and this is where we may lose folks, but I do a lot of journaling, but I don't know if you know about, alternate.

00:32:15.546 --> 00:32:18.435
Nostril breathing, which is from kundalini.

00:32:18.455 --> 00:32:29.526
So what you do is you take your thumb and your fourth finger, your ring finger, and you put, you breathe in, you put your thumb on one nostril, and you breathe in through that open nostril.

00:32:30.006 --> 00:32:37.415
Then you switch, you put your fourth finger, you put your finger and you your ring finger, and you close the other and you breathe.

00:32:38.076 --> 00:32:39.576
And then you repeat.

00:32:39.576 --> 00:32:42.756
You breathe in with the open and then you breathe back out.

00:32:42.965 --> 00:32:49.895
And what happens is, and you breathe into the count of four, you hold for two, breathe out to the count of four, you hold for two.

00:32:50.526 --> 00:33:02.435
And it is amazing how that will just center you, calm you, your shoulders come down, and that monkey mind that we talked about.

00:33:02.705 --> 00:33:04.955
It really puts it, at rest.

00:33:04.955 --> 00:33:05.915
It's astonishing.

00:33:06.365 --> 00:33:20.855
Another thing, and this is for those of you who like challenges I was working with an amazing, soul, Angelis Arian, may she rest in peace And she was this we bit of a little bask firecracker.

00:33:20.885 --> 00:33:23.441
And she was extraordinary known throughout the world.

00:33:23.780 --> 00:33:26.151
people from all walks came to her.

00:33:26.151 --> 00:33:27.471
She's written great books.

00:33:27.471 --> 00:33:29.030
I urge everyone to look her up.

00:33:29.661 --> 00:33:34.371
And, I got to work in a number of different, workshops with her, one being the Fourfold Way.

00:33:35.300 --> 00:33:49.425
And she was explaining to me that for those of us who had monkey mind and a lot of insecurities, one of the fastest ways to nip that in the bud is a form of meditation called standing meditation.

00:33:50.256 --> 00:34:03.695
She said, Kate, if you want to quiet that mind, I challenge you for a year to stand in silent standing meditation for 15 minutes every morning.

00:34:05.256 --> 00:34:12.786
And so as you know, cuz you're the same way, I said, oh, game on and I'll tell you what.

00:34:12.786 --> 00:34:14.856
It was amazing.

00:34:14.916 --> 00:34:17.615
I even got to the point where I stopped fidgeting.

00:34:18.096 --> 00:34:28.800
And she was explaining that this is what a lot of old African warriors and even those who stand attention at certain palaces, the guards that's literally what they're doing.

00:34:29.340 --> 00:34:33.460
And it has been one of the greatest things, practices I've ever done.

00:34:33.851 --> 00:34:35.920
Even just the fact that I was able to do it.

00:34:36.280 --> 00:34:38.295
From a, practical standpoint, oh my gosh.

00:34:38.295 --> 00:34:39.315
Put yourself first.

00:34:39.615 --> 00:34:43.485
By that what I like to do is I do things that are important to me.

00:34:43.485 --> 00:34:45.945
This is embracing your inner queen.

00:34:46.335 --> 00:35:02.425
So the stuff that's important to me, or if there's things that I've passionate about, or I'm gonna be doing a podcast or such, I put the first part of my day, and that could be from eight to 10, whatever it is I plan those things for me first thing in the morning.

00:35:03.436 --> 00:35:07.786
And I block off that time because then I'm putting myself first.

00:35:08.056 --> 00:35:08.565
Done.

00:35:08.746 --> 00:35:12.045
So I get my, when I'm freshest, when I'm at my best done.

00:35:12.135 --> 00:35:16.791
And then I find that actually I'm fulfilled and I feel excited and I'm proud of myself and yay me.

00:35:17.240 --> 00:35:21.260
And then I go when I do the rest of the day and I give the rest of the day.

00:35:21.311 --> 00:35:22.001
For others.

00:35:22.945 --> 00:35:47.271
And then what I've really started playing with, and this is advanced but if you have the ability, I really did start blocking off Fridays and just saying, okay, I'm gonna do the bulk of my work Monday through Friday, and there's sometimes during the summer if I can do a portion of Monday and then that just left that day open for all sorts of, there was just space.

00:35:47.690 --> 00:35:49.280
So that gave me.

00:35:49.940 --> 00:35:55.740
And I really protect it too, where it gives me opportunities to, I don't know, oh my gosh, a sweet surprise.

00:35:55.740 --> 00:35:56.760
My daughter's gonna come up.

00:35:56.760 --> 00:35:57.541
We're gonna have lunch.

00:35:57.601 --> 00:36:00.481
Or, oh my gosh, I just ran into this really fascinating person.

00:36:00.900 --> 00:36:03.280
I'm gonna go have, meet with them.

00:36:03.610 --> 00:36:09.280
Or, here's a terrific opportunity, or there's an amazing webinar that I want to go to.

00:36:09.460 --> 00:36:19.630
So all those moments of surprise and delight that are incredibly nourishing, especially when you're busy and you poke dot it throughout your week, it just, it fuels you.

00:36:20.351 --> 00:36:27.925
So, and then I've got into reading again just cause and that has been yummy.

00:36:27.925 --> 00:36:38.436
And even at the end of the day when I'm wiped, cuz I get up super early, I somehow find a way to like, I'm gonna read a chapter and, it's helped my vocabulary.

00:36:38.465 --> 00:36:49.056
It's also just helped me think of things and inspired me and it's just also helped me hold things more lightly and then play.

00:36:49.820 --> 00:36:52.481
Incorporating play in some shape or form throughout the day.

00:36:52.920 --> 00:36:53.251
Yeah.

00:36:53.400 --> 00:36:56.210
And I love every one of the things that you talked about.

00:36:56.360 --> 00:36:58.371
I could talk to you for another three hours.

00:37:01.371 --> 00:37:02.811
I wanna thank you for your time.

00:37:02.815 --> 00:37:09.576
I know you have two offers for our audience, so I'm gonna let you talk about those and how people can get in touch with you.

00:37:09.835 --> 00:37:10.556
Sure.

00:37:10.880 --> 00:37:11.300
Great.

00:37:11.331 --> 00:37:21.110
So one is, I'm beginning to do more speaking and, public speaking and moderating, and then also some one-on-one work with folks.

00:37:21.170 --> 00:37:25.161
And so if you're interested in learning more about that, I just ask you to reach out.

00:37:25.166 --> 00:37:29.626
I can be reached at kby413@yahoo.com.

00:37:30.235 --> 00:37:38.041
I have Gmail too, but that's how I stand out because I'm a Yahoo girl and also by all means, feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn.

00:37:38.641 --> 00:37:47.820
The other piece is if you are a, mission-driven underrepresented founder in need of funding, I ask you to check out good light capital.

00:37:48.199 --> 00:37:49.429
We're mission-driven.

00:37:49.460 --> 00:37:55.250
Underrepresented founders are getting support they need to create and build greater impact.

00:37:55.519 --> 00:38:02.840
And the place you go there is www.goodlight.capital c a p i t a l.

00:38:03.510 --> 00:38:18.230
And also you can always just reach out to me directly again and ask for more about that, but really trying to help, raise voices and give, find dollars for people who are doing amazing work and every single person, we're all doing it in one shape or form.

00:38:18.230 --> 00:38:20.014
So, I'd love to help.

00:38:20.735 --> 00:38:21.905
Thank you so much.

00:38:21.905 --> 00:38:23.494
This has been so fantastic.

00:38:23.494 --> 00:38:25.925
I am so grateful you came on the show.

00:38:26.074 --> 00:38:27.934
I'm so glad we got the chance to record.

00:38:27.934 --> 00:38:29.764
This has been a great, great episode.

00:38:30.065 --> 00:38:31.505
Ah, thank you Wendy.

00:38:31.510 --> 00:38:32.974
And we'll do part two, part three.

00:38:32.974 --> 00:38:33.724
Who knows?

00:38:33.784 --> 00:38:34.264
Yes.

00:38:34.655 --> 00:38:43.965
To all of our listeners, if you love this show, please make sure you subscribe for other self-care, podcasts that we'll be having along the way, and then also write a review.

00:38:43.969 --> 00:38:45.195
We'd love to have you review it.

00:38:45.840 --> 00:38:48.750
In the meantime, have an abundant week and we'll see you next time.
Katherine “Kate” Byrne Profile Photo

C-Suite Executive Leader

Kate Byrne grows things; people, businesses, movements. Her career marries her love of media, the power of technology and the impact of heart to help people and business be forces for good. The Stanford grad is a trusted voice and cross-sector translator, a gifted rainmaker and team builder and a leading voice in conscious leadership and the importance of trust as a form of capital. Byrne has a successful track record as a well respected C-Suite executive leader at blue chip brands such as Katapult X, SOCAP Global, Businessweek, Inc, Fast Company, Tides, and the George Lucas Education Foundation. She is the Strategic Growth Advisor to GoodLight Capital, PlusMediaSolutions and Emerge Studios. She is the host of two popular podcasts, Rebels with a Purpose and the editor of WomenAdvancing, a part of the Media Village network. Her creativity and strategic acumen in building vanguard products won her recognition on the coveted Folio Most Influential Media Leaders list. She is the Co-Founder of the Stewardship Circle for the Next Economy leading efforts to make the impact ecosystem more efficient, equitable and broad reaching. She serves as an Advisor to SOCAP and to the TomTom Foundation. An advocate for women and girls, Byrne is the former resident of the UN Women SF Board, Commissioner for the Marin Women's Commission and co-Chair for the Marin Teen Girls Conference. She loves travel, hiking, scuba diving, music, dancing, yoga, sous cheffing and her family (both the two-leggeds and the four-leggeds). A 4th generation Bay Area California native, she now lives in Charl…Read More