Transcript
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Hi everyone, welcome back to another episode of Wellness and Wealth.
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My name is Wendy Manganero, and I am your host.
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Today's topic is thoughtful journaling.
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And I'm here joined with Kristen Phillips.
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I'm going to read her bio and then we'll get right into it.
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Kristen Phillips is a catalyst coach and yoga instructor, E-R-Y-T 200, RYT500, living in Berkeley, California with her daughter, husband and kitties, pesto and taco cat.
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She loves to journal, read, and do all things yoga and hike in Tilden with her family.
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Kirsten guides women and non-binary folks that feel stuck in transition by helping you unlock what's blocking you, uncover who you really are and step into the person that you're meant to be.
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Welcome, person.
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Thanks for coming on the show today.
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Thank you for having me, Wendy.
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This is great.
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We're going to talk about journaling today, but not just any journaling, this idea of thoughtful journaling.
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So I'd love to know from you what does thoughtful journaling mean?
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Yeah.
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So thoughtful journaling is actually a method that I put together that has just five steps to it that really help anyone that's either really doesn't want to journal, but knows it's a good thing to do, tried it on at different points, it just hasn't landed.
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It's a super simple process that lets folks really get into journaling, connect themselves in a meaningful way.
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That's very neat.
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I will say there's a lot of people who have lots of journal stuff.
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I'm sure in the process of you figuring out this five-step plan, you have had a progression of what works and what doesn't.
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So I'd love to hear a little bit about your journey of what got you to this type of uh journaling and why you feel it works so well.
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Yeah.
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So my journaling journey really began back in high school.
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It was my way of working through my teenage angst.
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But I'd really only do it when I was super upset.
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And it was just a way of being able to vent onto the page and work through things.
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But then I stopped at some point.
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And it wasn't until I became a yoga teacher, part of our training was we had to journal about every single class we took, every session we went to.
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Part of that felt kind of drudgery.
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I wasn't always excited to do it.
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In the back of mind, I was like, there's gotta be a better way.
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Like I understand why they're having us do this, and there's gotta be a way to make this like more enjoyable.
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But I didn't really know what that was.
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More time passed.
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Basically, it was really with two things.
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I started writing a book.
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So I was writing a lot more.
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And then when the pandemic hit, it forced me back into that space of self-processing like I'd had in high school because I was cut off from so many folks, it felt like.
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And I realized that it, yeah, like I took one other course, like an online course, and I didn't really like the way it was run at all.
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But I picked up hints about how journaling doesn't have to be any one way, that there's many ways to do it.
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And and it got my creative brain going.
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And I was like, okay, I'm gonna put something together that works really well for me and will likely work for other people.
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I've now led workshops where I teach this method and I keep getting amazing feedback about how people that didn't want to journal, that didn't like journaling, that didn't know how to journal, they're having breakthroughs in between five and eight minutes of journaling, which is also a really accessible amount of time in our busy lives.
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I like that idea that it's short.
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It is relatively short.
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That's a wonderful thing.
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I have to ask you, this just popped in my head as you're talking.
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Lots of journals out there and finding what works best.
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What's really funny is that the other day I was on Facebook and I don't go on Facebook as often as I used to, but I was on there for something.
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But I am part of this coaching group, this mastermind group that I like to watch.
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Of course, there's a Facebook ad.
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But the journal was for angry people.
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It was cracking me up because all of the comments were I'm so over these flowery, everything is perfect journals, which I thought was an interesting.
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I think people think the processing of journaling is that you already have all of the answers.
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But I'd love for you to talk about that because I think that would be key as we talk about journaling, like what the real purpose of that is, have to feel better as you're already writing.
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That's such a good point, Wendy.
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It's fascinating because most of the folks I talk to think that they need at least 20 minutes to journal properly.
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There's almost like a perfectionism that comes in that either their handwriting needs to be really nice or they need to know the answers before they write down, which isn't true.
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One of my clients, it's so cool because she's come to almost every single one of my workshops.
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She loves it and she keeps coming back and doing it again and again.
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The thing that's really highlighted for her is that she basically now has a conversation with herself on the page.
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It's like they're at least two different voices, like talking to each other.
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And it's like her being able to let go of that it has to look a certain way really helped her dive into it.
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That is the point of journaling, for it to be messy, to start off really confusing and to get all those words on the page.
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It lets your mind let go of how things should be so that you can understand what's actually true for you or what's going to support or help you.
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But you got to get through that beginning stuff that usually comes from outside of you.
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Yeah, I agree with that.
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And the other thing is that I find when I journal, I'm suddenly more honest.
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There is something about putting pen to paper where you're left with your own thoughts.
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And I think that's what happens in our head, it sounds one way, but when we put it down on paper, we can really become honest with what they are.
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And it's so funny because I was listening to the radio.
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This lady was like, How to save marriages in less than seven minutes?
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I was cracking up because actually, when they in three songs, of course.
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Anyway, at the end, she was like, They did this study where people who are married, if they write down what the argument is about, even though they may still have arguments, they'll have a resolution faster because they're more honest on paper before they go back to their spouse.
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I was like, huh, there's something to that, right?
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I'd love to dive into why you think that's the case, where we get more honest once we put words to the paper, as opposed to the thoughts, because sometimes it's the same thoughts, especially when we start in our head.
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Yeah, so what I've noticed in my own head is that the thoughts in my head can often sometimes go off on these tangents where I feel like I don't have control.
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But when I connect pen to paper, I get deeper, more into the subconscious.
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That is part of the science of journaling.
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You are connecting to your subconscious.
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When you connect pen to paper, they get the question of, oh, is typing the same?
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No, typing is not the same.
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It's that kinesthetic movement of forming letters on the page, or even drawing pictures.
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Drawing pictures can be an amazing way to journal.
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Like you don't have to write words.
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But yeah, when you connect into that pen and paper, there's this link that's going into that deeper part of your brain that really knows you, or even the deeper connection to your soul that allows us to get to that deeper place where we can be more honest, more open, and we can really there's a more of an ability, I think, to understand like the whys and understand ourselves better.
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I agree with that.
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But as we're talking about honesty and really connecting with ourselves on this deeper level, and I do agree because I do a lot of writing for a living, and I still for certain things, and I'm not a paper gal.
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As I say this, the listeners can't see this.
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I bought this yesterday because I needed a bigger place to write my grocery list.
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But I'm not usually a paper gal.
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Although, when it comes to journaling and stuff like that, I have a pink journal in there.
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Like I have these because it's so important to me, it is a different feeling that I have this paper that I'm able to get my words out into, and they have to be pretty for me.
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But that's just me.
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So I go and I look and I'm like, this is what's important to me, is that something I'm gonna connect with.
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But my point is it isn't the same as when we type.
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I feel like a lot of times I can type and get everything out, but there's still a block there.
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It's more like rambling than just journaling.
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I think there's a difference.
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If you find that, yeah, I do think that's true.
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Cause I find, like, especially when I'm working on my own book, I'll often switch to doing a voice to typing because I find that's a much better connection than when I'm just trying to type.
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It's like I feel like something gets lost.
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And I also wanted to circle back where you were talking about like that, you really like having pretty journals.
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Cause that's actually a really important thing.
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If you're trying to journal some old notebook that's been on your shelf for 20 years, you're not gonna be excited to open it.
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You're not gonna want to write anything in it.
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But if you have a journal or a notebook that you like the cover, the way the paper feels, those things matter.
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And same thing with whatever you're writing with.
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Some people love the tactile resistance, and other people love things that like flow across the page.
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Some like to switch colors.
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I love to journal and a purple pen.
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I'm just gonna tell you that I had a purple pen.
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I use purple as well when I journal.
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That's so funny.
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It's my favorite.
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I go and buy my purple pen.
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I don't have it right here.
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It's probably in my night stamp.
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But yes, I have a purple pen for my journaling.
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That's hysterical.
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For female entrepreneurs specifically, who are usually busy going 100 miles an hour.
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What are the signs that they could use to journal?
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It's actually that they're getting a block because they're not.
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Yeah, especially with female entrepreneurs, when your thoughts are on overdrive, maybe it's overwhelm or anxiety, or just like all the shoulds, when all the shoulds are coming in your head, because those usually are not like when you have lots of shoulds, that's usually not from within you.
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Those are like outside things telling you like you should do this, you should do that.
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Those things usually are not in alignment.
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That's a great opportunity to sit down and journal and figure out is that should thing, oh, I should post to social media, oh, I should write that blog post.
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Journaling's a great way to get a barometer on that and be like, is that something I actually want to do?
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Is that beneficial for my business?
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Because sometimes those shoulds are just things that other people have told you that are important, but they're not actually important to you.
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Yeah, I agree with that.
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And I always talk about this.
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Like, I've been in marketing for a long time, and I'm like the anti-marketer.
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I'm like, just because it works for somebody else doesn't mean it's gonna work for your business.
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If you don't love doing it, it's not gonna work.
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And everybody's gonna feel it when you go to write.
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I like this idea of journaling.
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I think a lot of business owners, especially if you're type A as a female entrepreneur, or if you need organization, we write to-do lists.
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I'll do a brainstorm once a week of all the things I have to do, which is very different than journaling.
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But even in that, I have a process of okay, do I have to do this today?
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Is something I have to do this week, so that I can prioritize it, but I want it out of my brain.
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Journaling is like the real emphasis on how things are going in my day or week.
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I actually see both as form of journaling.
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And whenever I do a thoughtful journaling workshop, the first journaling exercise we do is a brain dump, which is what I think that to-do list is.
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Although I'd say the difference is that a brain dump, it's not fully organized.
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It's like you're just throwing down all the things.
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It might look like a list, and you might then transcribe that list into your to-do list kind of thing.
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But giving yourself that brain dump time is really important to move past all the things that are in there.
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That brain dump can be a form of journaling.
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And once you've done the brain dump, it's so much easier to get into deeper things, to understand your shoulds, and whether the things you really want to do or not.
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And that's the reason why I started brain dumping.
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Because I had a coach once tell me, if you have all of it in your head, you can't focus on what you're doing.
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So that's how I started the whole brain dump process to get it out so that I'm not going, oh, I have to do this.
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When I start to think, oh, I have to do this and this, I write it down quickly so I can move on to what's in front of me.
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Otherwise, I'm way over here thinking about that and not focusing on anything I need to do in front of me.
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And I find that I don't even need to add it to any list.
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I just need to put it aside for later.
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Plus, I'm at the age where I'll forget if I don't write it down quickly.
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I think that's what happens is we get overwhelmed with how much we think we have to do until we actually put it on paper and then look at what's real and what's not.
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And have a separate journal where I put my brain dump when I'm in the middle of something and those thoughts come in.
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I have a separate journal where I write those in.
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And I just want to say that out loud because that could be helpful, especially for female entrepreneurs, to have a little notebook like that is your space, like anytime those things pop in.
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You're like, I write it down over there, and then you can set it to the side and focus back on what you're doing.
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It is very helpful to have that because otherwise I'm like, what did I say?
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And if you're like me, I have brainstorms in the shower and then get dressed and go, well, were they?
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So it's good for me to write those down.
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For the other thing that I'm curious about with your workshops, what type of entrepreneur or what type of person is this good for?
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Because I feel like there's two camps, ones who really understand it and ones who are like, I've tried it, it didn't really work because I didn't understand what they were doing, or like you said, they were angry or forced.
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I typically work with women and non-binary folks.
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That being said, I have taught this workshop to men as well.
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It usually works best for those that feel overwhelmed in general, those that want to feel more clear about the thoughts in their head to understand themselves better.
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And yeah, like I've had plenty of people.
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One person, the reason that they'd stopped journaling is that they had a journal that had prompts already in it, and they didn't like the prompts.
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So that was her aha moment.
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She's like, Oh, that's why I stopped.
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She's like, I actually really like journaling, but I didn't like those prompts.
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That's good information.
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And that's true because some people really love that.
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I did it for years.
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There was some, it was like a year planning, though.
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It wasn't really journaling, but it was a year planning thing.
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And I did it for four or five years.
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I'm not saying it was a bad thing, but then I realized I outgrew that too.
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You realize that sometimes what you needed way back when, which was really starter things to separate.
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And when I say starter, I mean like, what do you want?
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Well, that's a question I've never asked myself.
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So that kind of starter thing, being able to tone it down and be more succinct in what you're looking for.
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And I think that's the process of journaling too, is that you whether it's like if we've been journaling for a while or whatever, especially with businesses, that we go start with these really large, okay, I don't know, and then whittle that down.
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So what people need in their journaling styles, like a prompted question, wouldn't it work for me now?
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But for years it did because it kept me focused.
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So the last question I had for you is for those who are new to thoughtful journaling or just journaling, what's the first step they should start for the process?
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Well, the first step is really going back to having a journal and a pen you actually like and maybe even love.
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Because having tools that you are excited to pick up and use is going to make it so much easier to start.
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I like that first step is to get something, and a lot of times people feel like I love free, just really quickly, is because I know that women will say, I don't want to spend a lot of money on that, or I don't want to spend this because what if I don't do it?
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But what's your thoughts on that?
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Like how to get over that thought process, because I've seen that happen too.
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It's a very real thought process, and I've done that so many times myself.
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And then I would also ask, how many times have you just spent$20 on something because that was a small enough amount that you're like, oh, it was just$20.
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You can easily get a journal for less than 20 bucks.
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It's a pretty low investment.
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Like, it's not like you're spending$2,000.
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You're spending$20, maybe at the most.
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Yeah, I agree.
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I just want you to know I got this at clearance on staple, so I was very proud of myself for$1.88.
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I was like, oh, that's even better.
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That's the thing, oh, is like I think that's what happens is that we go and we look and we go, oh, we have to spend all of this time and money, and we just need to find something that really will work.
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I don't like to write in things that are not lined, but I found that out through buying pretty journals that weren't lined, and now I like lines.
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Yeah.
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Oh, that's such a good point, Wendy.
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Because yeah, there there seem to be like three main types of papers.
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Some are blank, lined, but they have the little tiny dot.
00:17:03.360 --> 00:17:05.920
And so, yeah, I loved lines for journaling.
00:17:06.079 --> 00:17:08.559
And then I also write out my daily affirmations.
00:17:08.640 --> 00:17:13.039
I have a separate journal for that, but that one I like the dots for some reason.
00:17:13.200 --> 00:17:16.160
That's what I need for affirmations, which is interesting.
00:17:16.319 --> 00:17:20.240
So I think giving yourself permission to try on different paper types.
00:17:20.400 --> 00:17:26.319
If you buy something that's under$20, if that one isn't great, you can get another one.
00:17:26.400 --> 00:17:28.480
Like you said, you got yours for a couple dollars or something.
00:17:28.640 --> 00:17:31.279
You can find journals on clearance for really, really cheap.
00:17:31.519 --> 00:17:37.039
Like there's some really cute ones out there with really nice paper that are crazy affordable.
00:17:37.680 --> 00:17:38.720
This has been a pleasure.
00:17:38.880 --> 00:17:39.839
I appreciate you coming on.
00:17:39.920 --> 00:17:44.079
I know you have an offer for our audience, so I'd love for you to share about it now.
00:17:44.559 --> 00:17:47.920
I have a guide so you can learn how to do the thoughtful journaling process.
00:17:48.000 --> 00:17:49.039
It's totally free.
00:17:49.279 --> 00:18:01.759
If you go to loveandlivewellness.com slash journaling, that's where you will find the guide thank you so much.
00:18:02.079 --> 00:18:07.200
And I will have that link in the show notes for everybody so you can just click on that and get the guide.
00:18:07.359 --> 00:18:09.440
Thank you so much for coming on the show today, Kirsten.
00:18:09.839 --> 00:18:10.720
Thank you, Wendy.
00:18:10.799 --> 00:18:11.680
It was a pleasure.
00:18:12.640 --> 00:18:17.359
If you love what you heard today, please subscribe for more self-care tips as the weeks go forward.
00:18:17.440 --> 00:18:20.319
And if you love what Kirsten had to say, please write us a review.
00:18:20.400 --> 00:18:22.160
In the meantime, have a blessed week.