Nov. 26, 2022

Trudi Kayser - Imposter Syndrome and how to Kick IT's ASS!

Trudi Kayser - Imposter Syndrome and how to Kick IT's ASS!
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Are you a female entrepreneur who finds yourself feeling like an imposter in your life? Are you among the many women experiencing imposter syndrome who don’t realize how much it affects their life and business? 

This week on the Wellness and Wealth podcast, Trudi Kayser of Life Made To Order Financial Phoenix LLC shares that female entrepreneurs feel imposter syndrome is typical and push it down and go on with life. However, she also shares that if imposter syndrome when ignored, it will start manifesting in every other part of your life. The most common is in the body, relationships, and business.

In this episode, Trudi Kayser answers the following questions:

  • What is imposter syndrome? 
  • Does imposter syndrome help us stay focused on fear and unworthiness? 
  • Can Google help or hurt us when searching to overcome imposter syndrome? 
  • Can gratitude help us express our inner beliefs regarding imposter syndrome?
  • What actions are necessary to stop living in the cycle of imposter syndrome?

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Transcript
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Hi everyone.

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My name's Wendy Manganaro and I am the Host of the Wellness and Wealth podcast.

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I'm so happy to have you find us.

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And if you could take a moment and hit that subscribe button, I'd really appreciate it.

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This is the podcast where we believe when you show up better for yourself as a woman business owner, you show up better for your business.

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So sit back, relax.

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And learn from the practical to the woo-hoo, how to best take care of you.

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Have a great day.

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Stay blessed.

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And leave a review when you're done listening to the show, thanks so much.

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Hey everyone, today we have another fabulous guest as always, Miss Trudi Kayser, and I'm gonna read her bio and we'll get right started.

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So after years of struggling in the J-O-B just over broke world and having a boss truly leaped on her own, to start her own business in the financial services industry.

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It was hard enough being a woman in this industry, not to mention the pressure of success that she put on herself, especially coming from her background.

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She was a mere five year sober when she made this decision.

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This coupled with the lack of experience and being a financial train wreck herself spur at a plethora of mistakes.

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Fear and insecurity both financially and emotionally.

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Fast forward nine years later and Trudy is making finances fun, her outgoing and fun spirit nature.

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Spirited nature is what her clients love most about her.

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She enjoys educating her clients first and foremost, to empower them to make their own decisions when it comes to finances.

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With the hospitality and sales background, her clients feel at ease and completely taken care of throughout the learning process.

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Trudy is an expert at connecting people and gathering resources for her.

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Clients as a National Vice President at Five Rings Financial and heading up several offices across the nation branded Under Life Made to Order Financial Phoenix llc.

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She's a vital part of Five Rings, Financials crusade to educate the masses about money and how to feel confident making your own decisions about your money.

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Welcome Trudy.

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Thanks for coming on the show with me.

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Thanks.

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Thanks.

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That was a nice introduction there.

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Well, it's all about you, so that's great.

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So I have to say, Trudi and I have talked a couple of times prior to this and this last time I was like, Hey, you should probably be on the show.

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So I'm really excited that you're here to join us and I love our topic today.

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It's gonna be on imposter syndrome.

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I know so many people, and especially female entrepreneurs go through this phase.

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I don't know if I've ever met one that really hasn't gone through that phase.

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But I'm curious in, in your definition, what is imposter syndrome?

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BS! No, I'm just kidding.

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You know there is an official definition for imposter syndrome, but my personal definition of imposter syndrome is the feeling of inadequacy.

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Despite all outward appearance of success and how other people see you, wouldn't it be grand if I could only see myself the way others see me?

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But we don't, we don't, especially as women.

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And being, in the financial services industry, with a background I had, and I don't think anyone who's ever done an interview with me or I've told my story to really knows the Terribleness of my past, and what I did and how I did things, and how I lived my life.

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I was a drug addict.

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I was an alcoholic.

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I did many things that were not, conducive to being a financial services person or helping or even helping other people for that matter.

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And so when I came into the financial services industry, I questioned a lot.

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Is this going to be the right move for me?

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But deep down inside, I loved the company that I was working with.

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I loved the people that I was working with.

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I loved the culture, and it was so different than any other company that I'd ever worked for and it gave me an opportunity to make my own schedule to be my own boss, which in itself was an issue at that point.

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Because once again, who am I to be a boss?

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Especially of myself.

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So it was definitely that imposter syndrome reared its ugly head for many years in my life.

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And for many years I didn't even realize that's what it was.

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And let's back up for one second because I know this for being an entrepreneur myself, like you said you were like, oh, I had my own issues being a boss.

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I thought that was like I could take off whenever I wanted and I was like, I really gotta keep a schedule?

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Guess what, if I don't work, I don't earn.

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Exactly.

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Amazing.

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But I wanted to back up and challenge you here for a second cuz as you were talking, I was thinking about it, I had heard, a TED talk, that we call it imposter syndrome, but it's really fear, and worth.

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That's really what it boils down to.

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I'm not worthy.

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And how many women out there feel like that right now?

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Well, I dare I say how many women feel okay admitting that.

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I think that's really what it boils down to.

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We live in a society that, is status quo.

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It all depends on status quo.

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We, care way too much about what others think about us, and especially in the entrepreneurial world.

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You feel like that you have to put forward beautiful vision of success, beautiful vision of, I am uber successful.

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This is what I do.

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I'm really good at what I do, and I know what the heck I'm talking about more than anyone else.

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And that's why you wanna come and work with me.

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And I love what you do, Wendy, because it's attracting.

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It is not a necessity.

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A have to and I see a lot the trend now is people showing their vulnerability moving and building their business and starting out, because you don't step into a financial services career with everything you need unless you're straight outta college, unless you have the training, unless you have been through tons and tons of classes.

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Well, our company very purposefully hires people that don't have any experience.

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So I was honest.

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I was the ideal client.

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I was the ideal client.

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I was the ideal person to go to work with him.

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I just didn't know that inside And I think that's what it boils down to too.

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And as you were talking, the other thing I was thinking about too, which I really like, that you're in financial services as a female, and here's my reasoning behind that, and it does go with imposter syndrome is that I don't think enough women talk about money yet.

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So even if you're not in the financial services, it's like there's this, comparison of what you are supposed to make out there or what we think other people are making.

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I was in the social media group for a little bit because it was other social media managers and it was a collaboration group.

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But when I realized the struggle with women who were in there asking about how much other people charged and then what people were saying, I was like floored and, I remember going through that growing period of my business where I was afraid to charge.

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And I didn't feel like I could talk to anybody about it to say.

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Am I getting what I'm worth for the value?

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And, I don't think there's enough conversation when it comes to imposter syndrome around that conversation.

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I agree.

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I agree fullheartedly and well, there's Google.

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Honestly, if you type in a question to Google and over 1 million answers come up, which one are you gonna choose?

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And if you go through several pages of Google, there is, very different information concerning every single, Subject that you could think of out there, contradictory information as well about imposter syndrome, about entrepreneurship, about how to get an llc, about how to build a business, about how to pull up your bootstraps.

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There's too much information, dare I say, too much information.

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And, the ability for us to have it at our fingertips is what is so easy, right?

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But it ends up being very confusing.

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And, you end up at the place where you started not knowing.

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Because how do you choose which one is right?

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Do you go and research the person that wrote that article and make your own decision at that point?

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Or do you have time to go research that person?

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And so I took a little break, stepping back from technology a little bit in the beginning.

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And it wasn't because I was so confused as to what to do and how to do it and whatnot, and then I basically just started depending on the mentors that I had chosen to work with in our company.

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And, went with that and left everything else out because I didn't want any conflicting information because that would've just made it worse.

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That would've just made my imposter syndrome worse.

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If I'm questioning what my mentors are teaching me.

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That kind of defeats the purpose.

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And that was the beauty of what I loved about coming to work with Five Rings Financial.

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I wasn't working for them.

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I was working with them to build my own company.

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And from the very beginning I wanted that, and I was scared to death.

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Fear.

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It was a fear based thing.

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And what do they say about fear?

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There's all kinds of sayings about it but what gets you through it is courage.

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The courage to go through the fear, to face the fear, and it's not always easy to do that.

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And I think that if you do it alone, you're foolish to do it alone.

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It's always a better choice to reach out to someone and go through the fear with them beside you.

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My problem was, I came from an addict background.

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I was addicted to methamphetamine, I was addicted to alcohol.

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And, with that even being five years sober coming into this business, I still had a lot of those ticks.

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I still had a lot of those, character traits that go along with an addict.

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Feelings of inadequacy, doubt.

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Guilt, shame, all of that stuff.

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I went through the steps of aa, the whole nine yards.

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I had a sponsor, everything, but none of that helped because the main, and I've got this from a TED talk, and it was a very valuable TED talk to me when I first got in this business.

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And that was, it talked about, the disconnect that an addict feels, and that's why they.

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Participate in drugs because drugs helps you to feel connected in our mind, and so the main crux of building a business, especially the five Rings financial way, is through relationship.

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And building relationships.

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I've never bought leads.

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I've never had to, maybe I should have, but I didn't.

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And it was about me learning how to build relationships, how to be a friend to someone.

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And they just kept telling me, keep going.

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You got this, you can do this, do this, do this.

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And then, I had my sponsor over here saying, are you writing down your gratitude thoughts every day?

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Are you doing?

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And I'm like, What good is that gonna do me seriously, like writing down some stuff I'm thankful about.

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Like I totally had attitude about it, totally had attitude about it until I started doing it.

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And then at that point that gratitude starts hitting in.

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It's impossible for you to be doubtful and insincere and disconnected when you're feeling gratitude.

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It's so huge, so simple that people don't think it'seffective.

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And I will tell you that is the one thing that changed my life.

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That is so true.

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And there's a couple things that you said in there, but gratitude is a huge piece of the puzzle of Bringing yourself through self-doubt.

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I think a lot in the shower gosh, that's my thinking spot.

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That's my thinking spot.

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And I was thinking like in my own life, when you start to feel grateful and start to remember all of the people who have stepped up to help you along the way and that's what I was thinking about, like we don't talk about money, especially as female entrepreneurs and there's still in some places, there's this idea of I gotta keep everything a secret, especially around money.

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But I was thinking about it.

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If I really look back and you start to think about all of the people who step up during your life and ended up helping you in some way.

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And whether it was about the money conversation or any other personal conversation because most of us don't know what we don't know until somebody shows us it.

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And as the person who helps with the Google there's truth to this.

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Anybody could be number one in Google.

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Based on how we work the algorithms, right?

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And how much you pay as well.

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Right?

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It's all about seo.

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It's all about how you do the background of it.

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And that's not a bad thing.

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I'm not saying that we shouldn't do that, but I think that there's there's a difference between I'm getting information from online and I do it all the time.

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It's not like I don't, and then knowing somebody who's had that experience and getting information from them directly.

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And that's why attraction is so important because you're right, we can find all sorts of information but in my mind, every client is not the right client.

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It doesn't Work like that.

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And vice versa is every company is not the right company for me.

00:13:38.272 --> 00:13:39.511
So, as the buyer.

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I think there has to be a collaboration between the two, but the way that you do that is to be the experiential part of it.

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And you know what's interesting too is I learned early on that perception is projection or projection is perception.

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And I had a coach early on.

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I, got a coach gifted to me.

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I was very blessed in that sense that I did not have to spend money on a coach.

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I worked with her.

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And, we traded and I worked with her on the side at a networking company and she coached me.

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I literally would call her every single day, oh my God, this person pissed me off and blah, blah, blah.

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And she would always say perception is projection.

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Perception is projection and I would just end up like, Ugh.

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I'd get so angry with her and so frustrated, but she was right.

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So here I am, I have this self-doubt, I have this guilt, this shame going on.

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This is what I'm making my decisions with around money as well, right?

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Not only relationships, but around money as well.

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And I have this imposter syndrome, and that is how I perceive myself so therefore I project that out on others, and the people that I were doing business with in my mind were also imposter syndrome.

00:14:45.341 --> 00:14:47.267
So how do you think my business was going?

00:14:48.376 --> 00:14:51.017
Not very well, thank you very much.

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And it was frustrating.

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It was so frustrating.

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I couldn't figure out why, because I don't attract what I want.

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I attract who I am.

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And I don't care who you are, we are mirrors and magnets and that's exactly what it boils down to.

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And in the end, if we aren't well, then we are going to attract people that aren't well.

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And one of my main cruxes was, we were trying to cover people with life insurance.

00:15:22.961 --> 00:15:27.371
And how often do you get covered with life insurance if you're ill and sick?

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Not much.

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And so I had this skewed vision of myself and that fed the imposter syndrome even more at that point.

00:15:39.206 --> 00:15:42.746
Yeah, I always say that two half people don't make a whole person.

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When it comes to people, two halves do not make a whole.

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I am usually using that on personal relationships.

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But that counts for business too.

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It does not work if you don't.

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And I like that you said that, there is something about want, but what am I doing?

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What action steps am I doing to become the person that I wanna attract?

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Whether it's in business, whether it's in personal relationships.

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I had a friend of my husband who used to say that you are judging your intentions while other people are watching your actions.

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My intention is to do the right thing, but really am I doing the right thing?

00:16:11.966 --> 00:16:18.590
And so I had to step into, if I wanna attract the right thing, then I need to think about it and are your actions backing up to that?

00:16:18.590 --> 00:16:30.019
So, with finances, in your opinion, especially for entrepreneurs, how do you think Imposter syndrome hurts people professionally and personally because it does.

00:16:30.570 --> 00:16:35.509
I think we're starting to delve into it a little, but it can have people walk away from businesses in my experience.

00:16:36.975 --> 00:16:46.475
In life in general, I can only speak for myself personally, and professionally in the sense that it was exhausting, first of all.

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And when you're exhausted, some things start happening to you physically.

00:16:51.139 --> 00:17:10.714
As well, and years and years of exhaustion, meaning no sleep because you're too worried or you're thinking too much, you're ruminating that process and it starts out this small little thought that happens and it's innocent enough in the beginning, but you look at it as a snowball.

00:17:10.920 --> 00:17:20.519
At the top of a big, huge mountain and the mountain's covered in snow, and you just drop that snowball and it starts rolling down the hill and collecting all the thing.

00:17:20.519 --> 00:17:22.440
And that's what happens when you ruminate, right?

00:17:22.440 --> 00:17:24.089
And you so you don't sleep.

00:17:25.170 --> 00:17:26.490
Well at all.

00:17:26.700 --> 00:17:28.440
And then you know, you're in your forties.

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That's when I was in my forties and all that perimenopausal stuff was happening and changes were happening and all this hormonal stuff mixed in on top of the imposter syndrome.

00:17:41.075 --> 00:17:44.910
The doubts this, it was exhausting.

00:17:44.970 --> 00:17:49.559
And I will tell you, two years ago, I hit a wall, hit a wall.

00:17:50.269 --> 00:18:00.059
I started this business in, 2013 and by 2020.

00:18:00.839 --> 00:18:05.970
Somewhere in there, I started feeling the physical toll that it was taking on my body.

00:18:06.329 --> 00:18:12.990
I said in the beginning, I will give myself five years for this business and if it doesn't work in five years, then I'll move on to something else.

00:18:13.035 --> 00:18:20.055
I gave myself permission to be okay with that, and I had a plan in place, and then three years in, I moved.

00:18:20.875 --> 00:18:23.005
I moved out here to Arizona from San Diego.

00:18:23.484 --> 00:18:40.365
And when I was starting to feel comfortable with everything and the networking, and the meeting people, and the building, the relationships and all the things that I had to do in order to get my business, and I was starting to quell that imposter syndrome, then I moved out here and literally had to start all over again.

00:18:40.724 --> 00:18:41.775
And it was exhausting.

00:18:41.805 --> 00:18:44.444
But I did have some skills that I didn't have before.

00:18:44.545 --> 00:18:47.214
Some really good interpersonal skills, some soft skills.

00:18:47.214 --> 00:18:52.289
I just talked about that this morning on my Trudi's Tuesday Tips, hard skills versus soft skills.

00:18:52.289 --> 00:18:57.000
And a lot of companies are focusing on soft skills nowadays because they're important.

00:18:57.180 --> 00:19:14.335
And so, by the time I hit a wall, I was so filled with physical inflammation in my body that it was very difficult for me to function at all without some sort of inflammatory product in my system.

00:19:14.805 --> 00:19:18.045
And the doctor had offered narcotics, but I was sober.

00:19:18.045 --> 00:19:21.525
I didn't want anything to do with that, and so I dealt with it.

00:19:21.575 --> 00:19:28.500
But I had not spent any time or money figuring out what the physical problem was either.

00:19:28.660 --> 00:19:43.575
I did go to acupuncturist and chiropractors and, all these things and fix my muscles and do this and do that because it possibly can't possibly be coming from my imposters syndrome and my inadequate feelings of shame and guilt.

00:19:43.575 --> 00:19:45.105
It can't possibly come from that.

00:19:45.765 --> 00:19:53.115
Well, it does come from that, and once that is repaired or on a way to being repair.

00:19:53.480 --> 00:20:02.150
Then your body starts repairing itself and you start waking up a little bit to the fact that, Hey, I am valuable and hey, I can do this.

00:20:02.210 --> 00:20:13.589
And maybe it was my thoughts that were holding me back So the detrimental, part of imposter syndrome is we can't get out of our own way.

00:20:14.730 --> 00:20:19.710
We make decisions based on the guilt, the shame, and thedoubt.

00:20:20.924 --> 00:20:27.045
And the fear not based on the truth about the matter.

00:20:27.095 --> 00:20:29.585
I've been training for seven years for this.

00:20:30.335 --> 00:20:32.015
I've been meeting with clients.

00:20:32.075 --> 00:20:33.305
I do well by them.

00:20:33.305 --> 00:20:35.315
They call me and tell me they love me.

00:20:35.674 --> 00:20:37.474
They leave me great reviews.

00:20:37.654 --> 00:20:39.244
They tell their family about me.

00:20:39.244 --> 00:20:42.035
I get a majority of my business from referrals.

00:20:42.095 --> 00:20:46.275
Now, if that's not proof that I'm successful, what else do I need?

00:20:48.214 --> 00:20:53.795
What I needed was a change in language and a better relationship with myself.

00:20:54.125 --> 00:21:02.805
And once that started happening, imposter syndrome very rarely rears its ugly head in my life anymore.

00:21:03.345 --> 00:21:07.305
I mean, there may be like, Here's a little feeling of it.

00:21:07.964 --> 00:21:12.045
Why don't we just go talk nice to ourselves in the mirror then and get this back on the right track.

00:21:12.464 --> 00:21:26.684
And the realization a couple of years ago that I did not have a good relationship with myself, despite all of the self-development I had done, despite all of the times I had been through the steps of aa, despite all of the books I had read, despite all of the coaches I had worked with.

00:21:27.654 --> 00:21:30.029
Still did not have a good relationship with myself.

00:21:30.119 --> 00:21:43.920
I mean, I lived and breathed Louise Hay for two years, and still did not have a good relationship with myself and the reality is until that happened, imposter syndrome was still right here.

00:21:44.400 --> 00:21:46.500
Hey, Hey, I'm here.

00:21:46.529 --> 00:21:47.970
What are you doing today?

00:21:48.269 --> 00:21:50.670
Let's do it with imposter syndrome.

00:21:50.970 --> 00:21:52.500
And it was literally exhausting.

00:21:52.500 --> 00:21:53.460
It was just exhausting.

00:21:53.460 --> 00:22:08.130
And so I will tell you, if you have imposter syndrome, if you are suffering from symptoms of imposter syndrome, it will catch up to you eventually, physically, mentally, it'll bleed out into every part of your relationships.

00:22:08.160 --> 00:22:09.839
It'll bleed out into your home.

00:22:09.900 --> 00:22:13.680
It'll bleed out into everything that you.

00:22:14.535 --> 00:22:26.605
Because it just gets outta control and, reeling it back in and gathering it does not help, but changing your language and changing your relationship with yourself does, and sometimes we need help to do that.

00:22:26.904 --> 00:22:28.704
It's so interesting you're saying that too.

00:22:28.710 --> 00:22:36.325
And I've gone through this and I do agree with you 150% until I started to change the language, it was like impossible to hear anything.

00:22:36.329 --> 00:22:44.382
But I know for myself, if somebody would've handed me that right at the beginning, I wouldn't have known what to do with that.

00:22:44.592 --> 00:22:54.241
I think what happens with, I think people in general, they go, there's a problem, and it's like whatever the problem is, that peak moment of clarity and then you're like, oh, okay, this is getting a little better.

00:22:54.247 --> 00:22:56.942
And then there's like, oh, but I still have this over here.

00:22:56.942 --> 00:22:59.342
And then you have this peak moment of clarity there.

00:22:59.392 --> 00:23:09.122
And then like finally, and I don't know whether some of that comes with age or knowledge, but suddenly you're like, eh, oh, it all goes together.

00:23:09.126 --> 00:23:12.541
Like I can't piecemeal this together and think it's gonna work.

00:23:12.547 --> 00:23:15.842
I gotta use it all and then like actually do.

00:23:15.896 --> 00:23:17.666
At least that's been my experience.

00:23:17.666 --> 00:23:19.676
Work on your business at the same time.

00:23:19.856 --> 00:23:24.987
Cook dinner for your family and do the homework with your kids and play with your cat.

00:23:25.237 --> 00:23:30.731
And go to the gym and do you feel like you're spinning all these plates all over the place?

00:23:30.761 --> 00:23:31.237
You're right.

00:23:31.287 --> 00:23:35.961
And then that goes back to when you're doing one thing, you're like, I'm feeling guilty about not doing another.

00:23:35.961 --> 00:23:42.190
And so it's like until all of those worlds collide, I don't know if anybody will hear it until they're ready to hear it.

00:23:42.400 --> 00:23:43.660
You're exactly correct.

00:23:43.690 --> 00:23:44.380
You are correct.

00:23:44.440 --> 00:24:00.069
And it takes a culmination of bad experiences, good experiences in different experiences over a period of time in order to say, oh, I hear that the way.

00:24:00.404 --> 00:24:08.085
I should be hearing it in order to facilitate change, and I heard it for years, you attract who you are, the law of attraction.

00:24:08.115 --> 00:24:14.654
I used to get up every morning and I had a treadmill in my living room, and I would turn on the television and I would watch the Secret.

00:24:15.125 --> 00:24:17.255
Every single morning I would, that's what I did.

00:24:17.255 --> 00:24:17.944
I spent my time.

00:24:17.944 --> 00:24:20.914
I didn't have a lot of clients back then because imposter syndrome.

00:24:21.365 --> 00:24:23.144
And so, that's what I would do.

00:24:23.144 --> 00:24:27.454
And okay, I got this law of attraction thing down now I'm gonna get in the mindset to do that.

00:24:27.845 --> 00:24:29.884
And it was working on my mindset as well.

00:24:29.884 --> 00:24:34.184
I came from a very lack minded, set of parents.

00:24:34.190 --> 00:24:35.930
my parents were born in the twenties.

00:24:36.289 --> 00:24:38.089
They were old when I was born.

00:24:38.170 --> 00:24:40.210
Older, I'll just say older.

00:24:40.210 --> 00:24:41.619
Not old, but older.

00:24:42.109 --> 00:24:45.950
I was born last, in line, I was the youngest of 10.

00:24:46.490 --> 00:24:52.910
I was the 10th born and many, many marriages before I came along with both sides of my parents.

00:24:53.049 --> 00:24:58.490
And, there was a lot of things that my parents did that I was just like, what's wrong with you?

00:24:58.490 --> 00:25:01.730
Like, I need some hugs right now.

00:25:01.730 --> 00:25:02.849
Is that not gonna happen?

00:25:03.815 --> 00:25:04.234
No.

00:25:04.234 --> 00:25:04.625
Okay.

00:25:04.654 --> 00:25:05.075
All right.

00:25:05.075 --> 00:25:05.464
Fine.

00:25:05.795 --> 00:25:08.015
You know, and, and my husband always jokes around with me.

00:25:08.015 --> 00:25:10.234
You didn't get a lot of hugs as a child, did you?

00:25:10.505 --> 00:25:11.795
I was angry when I grew up.

00:25:11.795 --> 00:25:14.224
I was angry because I was angry at my parents.

00:25:14.224 --> 00:25:16.234
I was angry at the situation.

00:25:16.234 --> 00:25:21.394
I was in the circumstances, I had the same pair of shoes for three years, I didn't have a bike until I was seven.

00:25:21.394 --> 00:25:22.924
We didn't get a TV until I was eight.

00:25:22.954 --> 00:25:24.065
We lived out in the country.

00:25:24.484 --> 00:25:29.924
We literally did not have running water from the city until I was probably 10 years.

00:25:30.670 --> 00:25:31.660
It was crazy.

00:25:31.930 --> 00:25:36.670
And then all of a sudden my mom and dad was like, yeah, we're not gonna be together anymore.

00:25:36.670 --> 00:25:38.910
And I was like, what?

00:25:39.180 --> 00:25:41.130
Well, thank God cuz you guys sucked together.

00:25:41.180 --> 00:25:50.035
I came to my realization at that point and some interesting things happened, that created this circumstances and all I saw growing up was my mom drinking.

00:25:50.035 --> 00:25:53.089
She was a raging alcoholic and so, it's good enough for her.

00:25:53.089 --> 00:25:53.960
It's good enough for me.

00:25:54.009 --> 00:25:55.869
I did not wanna be like her, though.

00:25:56.380 --> 00:25:57.279
I did not.

00:25:58.240 --> 00:26:05.890
And so you have to deal with these programmings that happen when you're a child from the ages of one to seven neurolinguistics programming.

00:26:05.890 --> 00:26:13.400
We're talking about neurolinguistics from the language and programming someone can say something to you so innocent when you're young.

00:26:13.785 --> 00:26:16.184
But your young mind takes it on.

00:26:16.285 --> 00:26:21.835
One thing that comes to mind is my mother used to always rush me all the time andale andale come on, hurry up, let's go, let's go, let's go.

00:26:21.835 --> 00:26:22.585
You're running behind.

00:26:22.585 --> 00:26:22.914
Let's go.

00:26:22.920 --> 00:26:24.025
She was always in a hurry.

00:26:24.055 --> 00:26:24.835
I don know why.

00:26:25.704 --> 00:26:26.515
Always in a hurry.

00:26:27.535 --> 00:26:32.634
So when I left my very small hometown and moved to San Diego, I was like, yes, this is my place.

00:26:32.904 --> 00:26:33.894
Everybody's in a hurry.

00:26:33.894 --> 00:26:35.394
Let's go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

00:26:35.394 --> 00:26:36.654
Once again, exhaustion.

00:26:36.724 --> 00:26:40.775
You get to the end of the day and you're just like, oh my God, why are we in such a hurry to live our life.

00:26:42.444 --> 00:26:46.880
Why can't we live in the moment and take it all in and and be content in the moment?

00:26:46.950 --> 00:26:50.339
it's always, oh, the next thing I gotta do, the next thing I gotta do the next thing.

00:26:50.339 --> 00:26:52.079
And I realized that I was programmed that way.

00:26:52.750 --> 00:26:56.109
And this was one of the things that fed my imposter syndrome too.

00:26:56.109 --> 00:26:59.470
So I say, go back and look at your childhood.

00:26:59.474 --> 00:27:01.180
Look at some of the things that were said to you.

00:27:01.184 --> 00:27:03.069
Look at some of the deep beliefs that you have.

00:27:03.069 --> 00:27:08.890
Look at some of the money beliefs that you have, the friendship beliefs that you have, the love beliefs that you have.

00:27:08.894 --> 00:27:18.025
All of these beliefs that have been built up in you and programmed, and you over the years, and use your language to start changing them because you can, it can be done.

00:27:18.384 --> 00:27:19.884
It takes consistency.

00:27:20.035 --> 00:27:23.545
However, awareness is the first key, right?

00:27:23.934 --> 00:27:33.015
And being able to do that, and it just, it gets to a point of being able to actually be in control of it is empowering.

00:27:34.075 --> 00:27:50.325
And when you can get to that point and, speak to yourself in a loving manner all day long instead of shit talking yourself all day long or should talking yourself all day long, things start to change very quickly.

00:27:50.744 --> 00:27:52.875
Dare I say overnight, right?

00:27:53.214 --> 00:27:53.934
It is quick.

00:27:54.684 --> 00:27:56.275
I go by the mantra.

00:27:56.275 --> 00:28:12.265
Now, slow is fast, slow, methodical, very meaningful movements, create a consistency and you don't feel rushed, you don't feel stressed, you don't feel anxiety.

00:28:12.355 --> 00:28:14.305
But I have to catch myself, right?

00:28:14.305 --> 00:28:15.234
So I feel myself.

00:28:16.765 --> 00:28:19.045
Okay, let's just step back and take a breath.

00:28:19.615 --> 00:28:19.944
Let's.

00:28:21.025 --> 00:28:21.954
Take it easy.

00:28:22.255 --> 00:28:24.654
A few seconds isn't gonna make a difference.

00:28:26.035 --> 00:28:27.115
It's not gonna make a difference.

00:28:27.535 --> 00:28:29.755
Let's do this methodical and do this slow.

00:28:29.875 --> 00:28:31.194
Slow is fast.

00:28:31.375 --> 00:28:32.454
Fast is slow.

00:28:33.605 --> 00:28:36.750
You do some things fast, you're gonna mess it up and you're gonna do this, da, da, da da.

00:28:36.750 --> 00:28:37.230
And then what?

00:28:37.230 --> 00:28:38.700
You gotta go do it all over again.

00:28:38.750 --> 00:28:50.299
So I found that programming, figuring out the programming that I got as a young child really helped me to effectively treat my imposter syndrome.

00:28:50.759 --> 00:28:51.329
Oh my gosh.

00:28:51.359 --> 00:28:54.490
I can't believe we've talked for 30 minutes because I could do this for.

00:28:54.951 --> 00:28:55.490
All day.

00:28:55.490 --> 00:28:56.601
I could talk about this all day.

00:28:56.601 --> 00:28:58.611
We need to do this again and even go further.

00:28:58.611 --> 00:29:05.895
And I love where you delve into different things because the older I get, the more truth I find in everything.

00:29:05.895 --> 00:29:11.435
Because I went through a traumatic event last my uncle died, who raised me.

00:29:11.695 --> 00:29:16.766
And the things that I had believed to find out the truth about.

00:29:16.816 --> 00:29:22.421
And that alone in itself, and I think that's what happens is when we have imposter syndrome.

00:29:22.695 --> 00:29:28.066
When we go through these fears is that it is that belief system that we were raised with.

00:29:28.066 --> 00:29:32.125
And there's a lot of belief systems I've already let go of as the years have gone by.

00:29:32.181 --> 00:29:35.721
The moment you challenge the belief is the moment when it starts going away.

00:29:36.260 --> 00:29:36.980
Exactly.

00:29:37.641 --> 00:29:54.526
And so the last year was a big one for me because I had a lot of beliefs about my uncle and grief goes through the stages of like angry and I'm no longer angry, but I can also see like where I need to respeak to myself about the things that are real and not real.

00:29:54.885 --> 00:29:58.026
And it's been a period of grace in my life because of it.

00:29:58.026 --> 00:30:12.445
And that's what I think that happens is when we stop taking on all of everybody else's belief system, we can have some grace with ourselves to do different self-talk because it's no longer their voices, it's finding your own in the midst of that.

00:30:12.715 --> 00:30:13.496
It really is.

00:30:13.496 --> 00:30:16.556
And it's also creating that beautiful relationship with yourself.

00:30:16.915 --> 00:30:23.455
And if you don't have a beautiful relationship with yourself, you cannot be expecting to grow relationships with other people.

00:30:23.665 --> 00:30:26.665
They're going to be flawed, just like your relationship with yourself is.

00:30:27.476 --> 00:30:28.965
And so, Yeah.

00:30:28.996 --> 00:30:32.326
Being able to change that language and it doesn't take very much.

00:30:32.326 --> 00:30:33.736
It's so easy and simple.

00:30:33.736 --> 00:30:37.365
I think a lot of people just don't believe it even works because it's so simple.

00:30:37.726 --> 00:30:38.205
Exactly.

00:30:38.296 --> 00:30:40.621
So, I hate to, we really, this is,

00:30:40.621 --> 00:30:41.070
oh, I know.

00:30:41.070 --> 00:30:41.671
It's all good.

00:30:41.671 --> 00:30:44.070
I know you have an offer for our audience.

00:30:44.076 --> 00:30:46.411
I wanna let you talk about that now.

00:30:47.355 --> 00:30:53.586
So I use this in my practice, in my financial services practices because most people don't have a good relationship with money.

00:30:54.076 --> 00:31:12.141
If you have the perception that you don't have a good relationship with money, I would love to offer you a free hour of sitting with myself our consultation and just having a conversation so I can hear your language, and then I can give you some tips, tricks, and hacks to change your language.

00:31:12.566 --> 00:31:16.465
Into some language that is going to help you be aware.

00:31:16.465 --> 00:31:18.145
And granted it's a process.

00:31:18.145 --> 00:31:28.586
It doesn't happen in an hour, but you can start being aware and changing your language within an hour and learn how that works and then use it as time goes on.

00:31:28.736 --> 00:31:32.665
And then if you want to work together, we certainly can do that.

00:31:32.756 --> 00:31:43.776
And I don't have a coaching program per se, but I do have an amount that I do charge per hour to sit with people, that aren't interested in financial services.

00:31:43.776 --> 00:31:46.415
So I do have this coaching thing over here on the side.

00:31:46.625 --> 00:31:50.705
I use it in my financial services business because it does benefit my clients.

00:31:51.006 --> 00:31:52.506
But, yeah, one hour.

00:31:53.115 --> 00:32:00.605
Let's chat about your language and we can definitely start you on a path to change your language.

00:32:00.615 --> 00:32:03.405
And that is absolutely on me.

00:32:03.435 --> 00:32:04.246
Time is free.

00:32:04.546 --> 00:32:05.915
And you can just schedule.

00:32:05.915 --> 00:32:19.415
I'll give Wendy the link that you can schedule your one hour free consultation and let's get your language changed and let's start feeling happy about life and happy about money decisions and happy about relationship decisions and.

00:32:20.096 --> 00:32:29.665
Dare I say bold in your decisions because action creates results and action creates momentum, and action creates motivation.

00:32:30.115 --> 00:32:33.215
And if you're motivated, then you can go do anything you wanna do.

00:32:34.201 --> 00:32:36.391
So thank you so much for coming on.

00:32:36.391 --> 00:32:39.590
I'll have your link in the bio for your, for your offer.

00:32:39.590 --> 00:32:40.911
And thank you so much.

00:32:40.941 --> 00:32:41.840
You're very welcome.

00:32:41.840 --> 00:32:42.530
You're very welcome.

00:32:42.530 --> 00:32:43.820
It was a pleasure being here today.

00:32:44.401 --> 00:32:46.471
I just wanna thank everybody for listening.

00:32:46.520 --> 00:32:47.330
Have a great day.

00:32:47.820 --> 00:32:48.240
Bye

00:32:48.651 --> 00:32:49.101
bye.
Trudi Kayser Profile Photo

"After years of struggling in the J.O.B. (just over broke) world and having a boss, Trudi leaped out on her own to start her own business in the Financial Services industry. It was hard enough being a woman in this industry not to mention the pressure of success that she put on herself. Especially coming from her background. She was a mere 5 years sober when she made this decision!
This coupled with the lack of experience and being a financial train wreck herself spurred on a plethora of mistakes, doubt, fear, and insecurity both financially and emotionally.
Fast forward 9 years later and Trudi is making finances fun! Her outgoing and fun spirited nature is what her clients love most about her! She enjoys educating her clients first and foremost to empower them to make their own decisions when it comes to finances. With a hospitality and sales background, her clients feel at ease and completely taken care of throughout the learning process.
Trudi is an expert at connecting people and gathering resources for her clients. As a National Vice President at Five Rings Financial and heading up several offices across the nation branded under Life Made To Order Financial Phoenix, LLC, she is vital part of Five Rings Financials crusade to educate the masses about money and how to feel confident making your own decisions about YOUR money!"