Jan. 21, 2023

Priscilla Rodriguez - Managing Stress & Self-Care Can Improve Your Self-Esteem

Priscilla Rodriguez - Managing Stress & Self-Care Can Improve Your Self-Esteem
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Are you a female entrepreneur who finds it hard to see self-care as productive? Would you like to learn the connection between self-care and what makes us a strong and confident woman who knows how to push through doubt and worry?

On this episode of the Wellness and Wealth podcast, Priscilla Rodriguez of Modern Wellness Counseling addresses how stress brings on the unnecessary comparison. She’ll also share why it’s okay to “miss” opportunities now for a better business tomorrow. 

In this episode, Priscilla Rodriguez answers the following questions:

  • How does stress affect your self-esteem? 
  • Why is self-discovery important?
  • How does one tell if stress is impacting their self-esteem and self-care?
  • How does one start to recover from burnout?

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Link: https://enhancingyourrelationship.teachable.com/


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Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:00.569 --> 00:00:01.169
Hi everyone.

00:00:01.169 --> 00:00:06.719
My name's Wendy Manganaro and I am the Host of the Wellness and Wealth podcast.

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I'm so happy to have you find us.

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And if you could take a moment and hit that subscribe button, I'd really appreciate it.

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This is the podcast where we believe when you show up better for yourself as a woman business owner, you show up better for your business.

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So sit back, relax.

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And learn from the practical to the woo-hoo, how to best take care of you.

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Have a great day.

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Stay blessed.

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And leave a review when you're done listening to the show, thanks so much.

00:00:38.590 --> 00:00:39.340
Hi everyone.

00:00:39.520 --> 00:00:41.170
Today we have another great topic.

00:00:41.229 --> 00:00:45.640
It is how managing stress and self-care can improve your self-esteem.

00:00:46.299 --> 00:00:51.935
Our guest is Priscilla Rodriguez, and I'm gonna read her bio and then we're gonna get right into the show.

00:00:52.564 --> 00:00:56.314
Priscilla Rodriguez is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Texas.

00:00:56.344 --> 00:01:15.064
She's the founder and owner of an online mental health group practice, modern Wellness Counseling that specializes in providing relationship counseling to couples who are looking to improve their communication and connection, and also works with individuals who are struggling with anxiety burnout, past trauma and low self.

00:01:15.984 --> 00:01:24.685
Priscilla has also shares some online courses that focus on relationship building, self-care, and improving self-esteem.

00:01:24.954 --> 00:01:25.974
So welcome Priscilla.

00:01:25.974 --> 00:01:27.265
Thanks for coming on the show today.

00:01:28.135 --> 00:01:28.344
Hi.

00:01:28.344 --> 00:01:28.944
Thanks Wendy.

00:01:28.944 --> 00:01:29.995
Thank you so much for having me here.

00:01:30.924 --> 00:01:33.978
So this has been a really fun little project.

00:01:34.028 --> 00:01:37.129
We cannot talk about self-care and self-esteem enough.

00:01:37.879 --> 00:01:42.599
Honestly, I find that the more I work in business, the more that this needs to be a topic of discussion.

00:01:42.599 --> 00:01:48.929
So what I'd love to know from you, is in your experience, does stress affect your self-esteem?

00:01:48.998 --> 00:01:58.274
Yeah so in my experience, there can be a lot more comparison when you are stressed out and your self-esteem, right?

00:01:58.274 --> 00:02:04.394
So your self-esteem, there's this part that I, it's maybe a little bit more challenging to trust myself.

00:02:04.394 --> 00:02:08.408
Maybe it's a little bit more challenge to feel really confident in what I am doing.

00:02:08.413 --> 00:02:12.968
So when I am really stressed out, I maybe will start comparing myself to other people.

00:02:13.269 --> 00:02:15.239
Maybe I'm engaging in self-doubt.

00:02:15.538 --> 00:02:20.234
So all of a sudden you're questioning a lot of things that are going on.

00:02:20.514 --> 00:02:23.913
Whether it's am I even doing the right self-care practices actually going to help?

00:02:24.133 --> 00:02:28.443
So there's a lot of questions, and raising thoughts that can happen when you are really stressed out.

00:02:28.713 --> 00:02:35.003
It's really hard to focus in whether that's I'm trying to be productive, trying to get something done, or just trying to relax.

00:02:36.558 --> 00:02:37.908
Yeah, that makes complete sense.

00:02:37.908 --> 00:02:38.929
And actually, that's so funny.

00:02:38.929 --> 00:02:42.049
I was literally having a conversation with a friend of mine.

00:02:42.098 --> 00:02:45.008
She was recently hospitalized and she's on the other side getting better.

00:02:45.008 --> 00:02:46.658
But she's not a hundred percent.

00:02:46.658 --> 00:02:48.758
And she's like, I can't go on social media.

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I can't because she's not feeling great.

00:02:51.299 --> 00:02:52.524
And she's like, I can't go on.

00:02:52.524 --> 00:02:53.933
All of a sudden, I'm so jealous.

00:02:53.933 --> 00:02:57.774
I've never been jealous of all these things that people are doing that I'm not able to do right now.

00:02:57.913 --> 00:03:04.558
So I can absolutely hear what you're saying and as somebody who does social media, that's a big one.

00:03:04.609 --> 00:03:10.049
When we start to feel stressed and we start comparing what people are writing to our insides.

00:03:10.128 --> 00:03:11.359
I'm sure you find that.

00:03:11.401 --> 00:03:13.112
Is that something you find in your practice?

00:03:13.693 --> 00:03:14.532
Oh, absolutely.

00:03:14.532 --> 00:03:20.733
That's definitely something that comes up as far, whether it's oh, I'll go on social media to get some ideas or to get inspired.

00:03:20.788 --> 00:03:30.377
There's a really fine line of let me get on to make myself a little bit happy or de-stress or relax or detach from whatever else is going on in life right now.

00:03:30.598 --> 00:03:38.228
But then it's so many targeted ads and targeted accounts, that it's gonna show you bigger or better things.

00:03:38.277 --> 00:03:41.157
Because that's what social media is programmed to do.

00:03:41.427 --> 00:03:44.437
So it's not even where you're at in life, it's this is how the algorithm works.

00:03:44.437 --> 00:03:48.828
And of course everything have some social media is polished most of the time.

00:03:48.828 --> 00:03:52.377
So it's not really a reality, that you're seeing.

00:03:52.377 --> 00:04:02.437
So of course it's gonna fall into that jealousy mode or just that part of oh wow I'm noticing something so different than what I had ever experienced in my life.

00:04:03.098 --> 00:04:08.557
Yeah, I was, and interesting about that years ago when Pinterest came out, this is a long time ago.

00:04:08.657 --> 00:04:27.708
As we're talking about self-esteem, I had written an article for a psychology magazine because so many women at that time were pinning everything and feeling like they were not, worthy because they felt like they couldn't keep up with the amount of pins that they were pinning.

00:04:27.757 --> 00:04:29.237
And it's supposed to be an ideal board.

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It's not supposed to be you have to do everything because you pin it and women were starting to really have self-esteem issues at that time because they really thought that they were supposed to keep up with the thousands of ideas, that just are there.

00:04:42.961 --> 00:04:45.487
Doesn't mean that we have to compare and do every one of them

00:04:45.576 --> 00:04:45.906
Yeah.

00:04:45.995 --> 00:04:46.206
Yeah.

00:04:46.206 --> 00:04:50.286
Sounds like a to-do list versus an idea or inspiration part.

00:04:50.355 --> 00:04:55.975
So, as far as self-care self-esteem and burnout, does burnout equal to lower self-esteem?

00:04:56.026 --> 00:04:58.576
Or do we get burned out because we have low self-esteem?

00:04:58.576 --> 00:05:02.165
That's a very curious question that I just came up with, but yes, I'm curious

00:05:02.266 --> 00:05:07.730
Yeah, I feel like they're so intertwined together where it's kinda a chicken and egg effect there.

00:05:07.730 --> 00:05:10.211
Cuz it's definitely the high level of stress.

00:05:10.216 --> 00:05:16.156
This constant demand to keep up often leads to this question of, can I keep up?

00:05:16.161 --> 00:05:17.995
And then it's no, yeah, I can do it.

00:05:18.055 --> 00:05:18.446
I can do it.

00:05:18.446 --> 00:05:19.817
I've kept up with everything else in my life.

00:05:19.822 --> 00:05:20.331
I can do it.

00:05:20.331 --> 00:05:21.562
So then you push yourself.

00:05:22.081 --> 00:05:26.512
But then over time it, this is where burnout maybe starts to happen.

00:05:26.512 --> 00:05:27.651
I'm getting so tired.

00:05:27.651 --> 00:05:30.141
And then you start questioning your ability to keep up.

00:05:30.422 --> 00:05:35.701
So then it's this piece of my self-esteem starts to also get chipped away, cuz now I'm questioning myself.

00:05:36.437 --> 00:05:47.482
And I'm tired of trying to keep up with the demand that, other people or society or social media, whatever, family, partner, whoever may be, is putting on you maybe even yourself.

00:05:47.482 --> 00:05:49.406
There's this narrative of, I have to be perfect.

00:05:49.406 --> 00:05:50.547
I have to do it a certain way.

00:05:51.086 --> 00:05:53.177
So there's this part that is too much.

00:05:53.226 --> 00:06:04.071
So they go hand in hand, as you're experiencing this higher level of burnout, you may be experiencing this lower level of self-esteem because there's this constant doubt and questioning that is happening.

00:06:04.891 --> 00:06:05.790
That's interesting.

00:06:05.790 --> 00:06:10.380
And I know for me, the older I get, And I'm finally okay with this.

00:06:10.380 --> 00:06:12.620
At one time I wasn't, life is different.

00:06:12.690 --> 00:06:18.591
And I think that sometimes we don't see that life is different, so we're not gonna keep up with what we used to because life is different.

00:06:18.901 --> 00:06:21.271
But physically life is different too.

00:06:21.391 --> 00:06:23.795
And I hear that a lot I used to be able to do this.

00:06:23.884 --> 00:06:30.055
There's this expectation that at every level of your life, you're gonna be able to do what you did.

00:06:30.055 --> 00:06:34.411
And I don't even know if that's really quite healthy to think that.

00:06:34.454 --> 00:06:34.995
Yeah.

00:06:35.545 --> 00:06:36.865
I think there's an acceptance.

00:06:36.865 --> 00:06:44.665
Maybe even this part of, Hey, I was doing this five years ago, but in this season in life, I don't need to do it anymore, or I don't want to do it anymore.

00:06:44.665 --> 00:06:46.435
Now I'm realizing I actually hated doing that.

00:06:46.490 --> 00:06:48.980
So even this part of was that really even needed?

00:06:48.980 --> 00:06:56.214
Maybe it was needed then, because now I know a little bit more but it's safe for me to let go of that and know that I'm gonna be okay.

00:06:56.615 --> 00:07:05.050
Without maybe pinning all the things or doing all the, posting as every single day or posting on all the social media platforms.

00:07:05.095 --> 00:07:06.444
It's like, actually, you know what?

00:07:06.449 --> 00:07:12.810
I can do a couple here and there and taking care of myself versus doing this for the algorithm

00:07:13.620 --> 00:07:13.889
Right.

00:07:14.129 --> 00:07:22.334
So, and again, because I've worked in it and I've worked with women entrepreneurs forever with it, and that's the thing is learning what works for you.

00:07:22.334 --> 00:07:23.564
And I think.

00:07:24.875 --> 00:07:29.894
Although this might be, this fear of missing out is for me, I get phone calls of I have to be on this social media.

00:07:29.899 --> 00:07:30.884
It's like you do?

00:07:31.225 --> 00:07:33.045
I'm just curious why do you have to be on there?

00:07:33.254 --> 00:07:35.475
And they're like, well, this expert said I had to be on there.

00:07:35.524 --> 00:07:37.596
And I don't know if that's what it plays into.

00:07:37.596 --> 00:07:42.913
Does it play on that fear of missing out on something and then that ties to my self worth, I'm not gonna be okay.

00:07:42.913 --> 00:07:45.103
Or This will not work unless I do it this way.

00:07:45.103 --> 00:07:48.769
As opposed to finding what works for you but that idea.

00:07:48.819 --> 00:07:52.069
Is that some of it this fear of missing out.

00:07:52.379 --> 00:07:52.769
Yeah.

00:07:52.769 --> 00:07:53.038
Yeah.

00:07:53.038 --> 00:07:53.369
Definitely.

00:07:53.369 --> 00:07:56.329
Fear of missing out, FOMO is part of I have to keep going.

00:07:56.389 --> 00:07:58.699
I have to keep doing, I have to keep saying yes.

00:07:59.059 --> 00:08:00.228
I have to keep showing up.

00:08:00.538 --> 00:08:07.608
Even though I am really wanting to nap right now or just really wanting to, be by myself right now.

00:08:07.798 --> 00:08:20.249
Cuz sometimes there's that part of it, if I don't do this, I'm going to miss out on all these opportunities, which can be really hard, especially as an entrepreneur, female entrepreneur who's maybe even just starting up, of I have to hit the gun running.

00:08:20.249 --> 00:08:28.824
I have to hustle, I have to get all the things done but then you lose track of you or maybe even the reason of why you became an entrepreneur.

00:08:29.223 --> 00:08:34.673
So there's this part of balancing and this self-reflection of where am I at right now?

00:08:34.703 --> 00:08:35.604
How am I doing?

00:08:35.913 --> 00:08:45.119
Cause I think that's a bigger part of like self-care is that there's nothing wrong with maybe showing up or attending the events, but it's how much time are you also taking care of you?

00:08:46.078 --> 00:08:49.583
And how much time are you okay to say no to certain things.

00:08:49.583 --> 00:08:53.693
Knowing there's always gonna be another opportunity, because networking events don't just stop.

00:08:53.693 --> 00:08:55.104
Social media accounts don't just stop.

00:08:55.193 --> 00:08:59.244
There's always gonna be more opportunity, but it's at what expense is that?

00:08:59.874 --> 00:09:06.264
So for you, were you always somebody who believed in like self-care and understood the ways to handle stress?

00:09:06.264 --> 00:09:10.344
Or was this something that you learned as a process too.

00:09:10.423 --> 00:09:11.833
Oh, definitely.

00:09:11.923 --> 00:09:13.323
Learn throughout the way.

00:09:14.384 --> 00:09:26.024
I would say I became fascinated with psychology and wanted to do counseling like the end of my college career, so like my junior third, fourth year of college.

00:09:26.533 --> 00:09:29.563
I didn't even understand that I had anxiety in high school.

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I was the person who was like, I need to be in all the clubs.

00:09:34.339 --> 00:09:36.528
I need to hold the leadership position on the clubs.

00:09:36.528 --> 00:09:39.078
I need to make all the A's, I need to go to all the volunteer events.

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I need to do other things.

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Not knowing that I had this perfectionist, it wasn't ever labeled.

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And then of course going into college or end of college and then grad school when I was studying mental health, I was like, oh, that's what that is.

00:09:52.729 --> 00:09:58.038
I started my own counseling in college for anxiety and that's when I learned Oh, there's a whole path here.

00:09:58.119 --> 00:09:59.408
Okay, this makes sense.

00:09:59.408 --> 00:10:01.778
And then learning about couples counseling and relationships.

00:10:01.778 --> 00:10:03.448
So this is when I just dove right in.

00:10:03.788 --> 00:10:12.094
So definitely having, throughout the process of learning it, being able to apply it and then see oh, when I take care of myself, I am much more able to.

00:10:12.979 --> 00:10:14.058
Do better things.

00:10:14.129 --> 00:10:19.604
Because I think even at the beginning when I started my business, I took on that role like I did when I was younger of I can do it all.

00:10:19.604 --> 00:10:24.374
I can do the social media, I can manage the website, I can take the phone calls, I can see the clients, I can do the billing.

00:10:24.594 --> 00:10:25.374
All the things.

00:10:25.604 --> 00:10:28.323
And entrepreneurs are listening to this are yeah, we know all the things.

00:10:30.933 --> 00:10:38.894
So it was right around Covid two, three years into my business and I realized, okay, I can't be doing all the things right.

00:10:38.894 --> 00:10:40.244
I'm starting to get burned out.

00:10:40.244 --> 00:10:46.999
So then that's when I started to expand my practice, sharing all these roles and contracting it out to other people.

00:10:47.318 --> 00:10:56.999
And freeing my mind up, more importantly, cuz it was hard to Be present sometimes when you're trying to go to bed and you're like, oh, I can write this blog, or Oh, I can write this post.

00:10:56.999 --> 00:10:59.428
Or Oh my God, did I share a story today?

00:10:59.479 --> 00:11:04.494
It's like, okay, I can sleep better now knowing that it's being taken care of by someone else.

00:11:05.374 --> 00:11:11.744
And I'm curious because I can't imagine being burnt out prior to going into the pandemic based on what you do for a living.

00:11:11.923 --> 00:11:17.480
But saying that, I've gone through that, where I've been burnt out and I resent my business suddenly or a client.

00:11:17.750 --> 00:11:20.210
I don't want to, because I'm like, I started the business.

00:11:20.210 --> 00:11:23.350
This is what I love to do, but I think there's something to that.

00:11:23.350 --> 00:11:24.429
Does that go together?

00:11:24.429 --> 00:11:27.110
When you start to burn out, you start to resent what you built.

00:11:27.659 --> 00:11:27.960
Yeah.

00:11:28.019 --> 00:11:29.340
Oh, yes, yes.

00:11:29.389 --> 00:11:33.009
That's something that definitely happens when you've experienced burnout.

00:11:33.169 --> 00:11:36.909
There's resentment and anger, and even grief and dread.

00:11:36.960 --> 00:11:40.740
All these bad, worrisome, gloomy terms, because that's exactly how it feels.

00:11:40.740 --> 00:11:42.419
It's like, ugh, why am I doing this?

00:11:42.480 --> 00:11:43.289
Why did I do this?

00:11:43.330 --> 00:11:44.820
And no one is forcing you to do it.

00:11:44.820 --> 00:11:46.804
So I think there's also guilt or shame.

00:11:46.809 --> 00:11:52.095
Sometimes wait, wait a second, I wanted this, but why am I feeling this way?

00:11:52.095 --> 00:11:56.205
So there's that part of definitely having to pull back a little bit.

00:11:56.544 --> 00:12:00.169
And check of, okay, what is all on my plate right now?

00:12:00.200 --> 00:12:05.600
What can I let go of or delegate to someone else that has been such a lifesaver for me.

00:12:06.110 --> 00:12:15.684
And literally if not, I'm pretty sure I would've had several panic attacks and let go of my business if I held onto everything the way I was.

00:12:15.735 --> 00:12:26.414
So I'm so thankful that someone told me, Hey, you don't have to do it all and having to be reminded of that, of oh yeah, I don't cuz sometimes you have to become the student again.

00:12:27.894 --> 00:12:32.495
So I think that's always an important part to help with burnout as well.

00:12:33.134 --> 00:12:36.865
And that's true sometimes you need that outside voice and not necessarily family.

00:12:37.054 --> 00:12:45.049
You need an outside voice who can very clearly see into your business without all of the emotions that are tied to it.

00:12:45.120 --> 00:12:47.240
Because that's the other thing is we're tied to our businesses.

00:12:47.289 --> 00:12:51.100
So for entrepreneurs, like what are those signs of burning out?

00:12:51.100 --> 00:12:57.970
Because I'm sure there's a stop before it gets to crisis but we don't know that.

00:12:58.019 --> 00:13:00.350
Yeah, and I think we touched on them a little bit.

00:13:00.355 --> 00:13:04.825
This part of you're waking up and you're resenting a client.

00:13:04.894 --> 00:13:06.899
You're resenting a certain type of project.

00:13:06.899 --> 00:13:10.514
You're resenting just going through your emails.

00:13:10.715 --> 00:13:13.934
There's something about it that is like, Ugh, I have to do this.

00:13:13.965 --> 00:13:15.245
It's very dreadful.

00:13:16.595 --> 00:13:17.434
Anxiety.

00:13:17.434 --> 00:13:19.235
Which can play out in a couple of ways.

00:13:19.235 --> 00:13:30.345
Whether that is actually experiencing some panic attacks, tightness in your chest, just this constant intrusive thoughts and worrying, of, I don't know if I can do it.

00:13:30.345 --> 00:13:33.019
I don't know if I can do it or I used to be able to do it.

00:13:33.019 --> 00:13:35.029
I used to hit these numbers and now I'm not.

00:13:35.034 --> 00:13:36.054
I used to do those and now I'm not.

00:13:36.054 --> 00:13:38.664
So there's this compulsiveness that happens.

00:13:39.144 --> 00:13:42.759
And then there's also extreme burnout.

00:13:42.809 --> 00:13:48.835
And you mentioned leading up to burnout, but I also just wanna point out this other side, which is no longer caring.

00:13:49.534 --> 00:13:50.945
You just no longer care.

00:13:50.975 --> 00:13:53.009
If it fails, it fails, who cares?

00:13:53.009 --> 00:13:53.610
Whatever.

00:13:53.610 --> 00:13:57.179
That is extreme burnout to the point where yeah, maybe you should take a week off.

00:13:57.909 --> 00:13:59.470
It'll still be there when you come back.

00:13:59.570 --> 00:14:03.559
But maybe really having to just completely step away.

00:14:05.029 --> 00:14:11.750
Because I think there's sometimes this part of, you start to also notice sacrifices that you started to make.

00:14:11.750 --> 00:14:22.355
So then you start questioning yourself of, gosh, I didn't go to my son's recital because I went to this networking event, and now this networking event didn't like playout what am I doing here?

00:14:22.355 --> 00:14:24.365
So then you start questioning yourself.

00:14:24.365 --> 00:14:26.615
And this is where, again, self-esteem plays a role.

00:14:26.865 --> 00:14:31.215
So I think this is where it's important to be very mindful of how are you feeling?

00:14:31.605 --> 00:14:36.414
And I think it's something that we rarely talk about or really emphasize.

00:14:36.605 --> 00:14:39.794
Sometimes it's Hey, drink water, make sure you're eating, make sure you go to the restroom.

00:14:39.845 --> 00:14:41.465
Ask yourself, how are you doing today?

00:14:41.924 --> 00:14:43.335
How are you feeling about your business?

00:14:43.394 --> 00:14:44.205
Where are you at today?

00:14:44.715 --> 00:14:55.419
Because being able to recognize I can then develop some safety parameters of, you know what, today I'm really low on energy, so I'm just gonna stick to emails today.

00:14:55.480 --> 00:14:57.279
I'll keep the phone calls for tomorrow.

00:14:57.529 --> 00:14:59.750
Cause that's all I have energy for today.

00:14:59.750 --> 00:15:00.450
And that's okay.

00:15:01.700 --> 00:15:06.019
That's interesting too that you say that cuz there is levels of burnout, I think.

00:15:06.070 --> 00:15:06.399
Yes.

00:15:06.399 --> 00:15:10.899
And realizing where you have crossed into line to extreme burnout.

00:15:10.899 --> 00:15:13.389
To the point where you don't care.

00:15:13.840 --> 00:15:25.000
When you're talking about those warning signs, every step in there, it sounds like you almost have to give yourself permission to be okay with.

00:15:26.875 --> 00:15:31.975
Not allowing yourself to go there or give yourself permission to be okay with doing less.

00:15:32.024 --> 00:15:35.684
Which I think women struggle with sometimes.

00:15:35.690 --> 00:15:38.269
If we have all these expectations on us.

00:15:39.169 --> 00:15:39.860
Oh, definitely.

00:15:39.950 --> 00:15:40.340
Yeah.

00:15:40.340 --> 00:15:44.600
There's that definitely a part of, what does it mean if I can't do it?

00:15:44.600 --> 00:15:45.649
Does that mean I'm lazy?

00:15:45.649 --> 00:15:50.615
I'm a bad entrepreneur, or whatever label you have.

00:15:50.669 --> 00:15:56.399
Daughter, wife, mom, does that mean I'm bad if I can't keep up with all the things?

00:15:56.399 --> 00:16:00.000
Maybe you start comparing yourself to other friends.

00:16:00.539 --> 00:16:01.350
Your mom.

00:16:01.350 --> 00:16:09.164
My mom was able to do it all and she had five kids and all of a sudden you jump into this comparison role versus just asking, Hey, what's good for me right now?

00:16:10.034 --> 00:16:15.784
And again, it's having tossed a notice right now versus forever.

00:16:16.634 --> 00:16:20.804
Because I think sometimes we can fall into this black and white thinking or all or nothing thinking.

00:16:20.804 --> 00:16:26.830
That if I don't do anything right now, if I don't go to that event, my business is ruined.

00:16:26.879 --> 00:16:27.534
My life is ruined.

00:16:27.539 --> 00:16:32.990
So it can be all this, all or nothing, but okay, what do I need to take care of myself, for today, for these next three hours for this.

00:16:34.190 --> 00:16:35.340
And this will be okay, right?

00:16:35.549 --> 00:16:42.065
Giving yourself permission to do less, for a little bit, so that way you can do more and feel good about it the next day.

00:16:42.134 --> 00:16:45.735
Maybe not necessarily more, but at least feel productive and feel good about it.

00:16:46.062 --> 00:16:46.753
Exactly.

00:16:46.753 --> 00:16:50.043
And I think that's sometime we say we'll do this self-care later.

00:16:50.582 --> 00:16:50.793
Yeah.

00:16:51.342 --> 00:16:53.293
The bathroom one oh my goodness.

00:16:53.293 --> 00:16:59.527
I was thinking when you said that I used to be a waitress and I would go hours and I'd be like, what is wrong with me?

00:16:59.636 --> 00:17:01.793
I wouldn't even realize, this is in college.

00:17:02.278 --> 00:17:04.019
I'd be like, yeah, I'm so great.

00:17:04.019 --> 00:17:05.699
And I'm like, no, that's not great.

00:17:05.699 --> 00:17:06.328
That's not great.

00:17:06.328 --> 00:17:07.348
That's just crazy.

00:17:07.348 --> 00:17:14.723
There's some idea that you'll get, I don't know, some sort of award if you can make it through torturing yourself, in some areas.

00:17:15.284 --> 00:17:19.644
Do you think that's cultural or do you think that's, more like innate that we do that?

00:17:19.644 --> 00:17:23.064
Do you think it's based on the individual or do you think that's a cultural thing?

00:17:24.443 --> 00:17:25.703
That's a good question.

00:17:25.753 --> 00:17:41.959
I feel like I have heard this come up regardless of background and regardless of where people are also located, I mainly work with people in the US and have spoken with other people like podcast and other entrepreneurs in the us.

00:17:42.009 --> 00:17:44.973
And I feel like that's just the case here.

00:17:45.003 --> 00:17:48.449
This kind of, you've gotta keep going, you just gotta keep going.

00:17:48.449 --> 00:17:52.679
And I think a lot of us have worked in some kind of corporate field.

00:17:52.679 --> 00:17:55.138
So sometimes it can be hard to just ask for a day off.

00:17:55.138 --> 00:18:02.898
Where are you going submit this doctor's slip, women don't have maternity leave or it's short, in comparison to other countries.

00:18:03.288 --> 00:18:06.588
So let me jump into being an entrepreneur that's I wanna be my own boss.

00:18:06.588 --> 00:18:11.509
I wanna have control, but it's so hard to get away from that script.

00:18:11.634 --> 00:18:13.703
And we saw it growing up with our parents.

00:18:13.703 --> 00:18:14.784
We see it on tv.

00:18:14.784 --> 00:18:23.604
So it's so hard sometimes to change that script of working hard means you'll be successful.

00:18:24.753 --> 00:18:30.448
When it's like, but what about working just more efficiently or working to the point where you feel good.

00:18:30.448 --> 00:18:31.667
And it's okay, that's enough for today.

00:18:31.998 --> 00:18:33.198
Working within boundaries.

00:18:33.478 --> 00:18:36.792
Cause I think that's healthier in the long term.

00:18:37.125 --> 00:18:38.905
I like that you said it's a script.

00:18:38.905 --> 00:18:48.786
I think many of us grew up with that, but I also think that it's like this idea of setting boundaries, which we also were not, especially as female entrepreneurs, we weren't always taught that.

00:18:49.175 --> 00:18:49.715
Exactly.

00:18:49.715 --> 00:18:50.076
Yeah.

00:18:50.135 --> 00:18:54.068
There's always been for many people, there's this part of take on the work.

00:18:54.068 --> 00:18:56.949
Because if you take on the work, that means you're noticed and that's good.

00:18:56.999 --> 00:18:59.669
That's good to be noticed, but sometimes I also need to rest.

00:18:59.719 --> 00:19:05.699
What about encouraging women to advocate for themselves of, actually, you know what, it's okay.

00:19:05.699 --> 00:19:12.148
I need, thanks for including me, or thanks for reaching out, but can we say this maybe for next month or can we check back in?

00:19:12.148 --> 00:19:15.269
Or Actually I'm just gonna not do this at all.

00:19:15.459 --> 00:19:16.058
And that's okay.

00:19:16.429 --> 00:19:29.653
I think there's definitely that part of it is hard and I see a lot of women in my practice where we talk about boundaries or work boundaries and it's this, I don't know, I'm talking about this strange thing.

00:19:29.864 --> 00:19:30.493
What do you mean?

00:19:31.153 --> 00:19:31.574
What is that?

00:19:31.624 --> 00:19:32.794
I can't tell my boss No.

00:19:32.794 --> 00:19:36.153
Or I can't tell people I'll get back to you in 30 minutes.

00:19:36.153 --> 00:19:37.364
And it's okay.

00:19:37.364 --> 00:19:43.878
And breaking that, that's really my next question is because that is a hard place I came from that background.

00:19:43.929 --> 00:19:53.628
For the first year of my business, I was so afraid not to answer every client and know every answer like it would, nobody knew every answer about social media, but I thought I had to know it.

00:19:54.219 --> 00:19:55.148
That was insane.

00:19:55.148 --> 00:19:58.760
And I started when Facebook started be popular so nobody knew, right?

00:19:58.760 --> 00:20:06.006
But I felt like, oh my gosh, they won't hire me, or they won't like me, and then I was like, I still knew more than them and I can research anything.

00:20:06.006 --> 00:20:08.361
I had to break away from that thought pattern.

00:20:08.361 --> 00:20:13.510
But that was a tough one to do because and I think it falls under you don't want to disappoint anybody.

00:20:13.560 --> 00:20:16.721
And that goes back to self-worth, if I disappoint you, then I'm not.

00:20:16.810 --> 00:20:17.111
Okay.

00:20:17.161 --> 00:20:18.000
Which is not true.

00:20:18.056 --> 00:20:31.566
All of that I knew is not true today, then I was still learning it, I think that's what is that where some of this onus is like, Where it's this idea of if I can't do all the things, then maybe you won't like me.

00:20:31.615 --> 00:20:32.726
Oh yeah.

00:20:32.816 --> 00:20:34.135
That acceptance part.

00:20:34.185 --> 00:20:38.201
I think as humans, we all have this need to feel accepted.

00:20:38.260 --> 00:20:40.131
This part of feeling I belong.

00:20:40.181 --> 00:20:44.790
That you like me, and there's that part that it's like we all want to feel that.

00:20:44.840 --> 00:20:59.530
Whether it's how we get that is very different, but I think definitely that part of if I do all the things, if I say yes, if I jump through all the hoops and I know for sure you're going to like me, but that's not always the case.

00:20:59.530 --> 00:21:00.611
That's not even a guarantee.

00:21:01.371 --> 00:21:02.769
And then you're never gonna make everybody happy.

00:21:02.919 --> 00:21:06.813
Everybody needs to Hear, especially when you think that everybody's gonna be your client.

00:21:06.813 --> 00:21:07.292
They're not.

00:21:07.393 --> 00:21:16.115
So, when we're talking about women who are into this, who are starting to feel burned out, stress, they were starting to doubt themselves or, what can they do to help themselves out of this?

00:21:16.715 --> 00:21:23.365
Mindset would be to remind themselves of some of these myths, of I can do it all.

00:21:23.766 --> 00:21:30.526
It's like, okay, maybe I can't do it all but, I can at least still be successful by leaning on these people for support.

00:21:30.526 --> 00:21:36.086
Whether that's your team, whether that's your partner, whether that's the person who's getting your curbside groceries.

00:21:36.135 --> 00:21:37.816
You don't have to do it all.

00:21:38.175 --> 00:21:38.445
Right.

00:21:38.445 --> 00:21:42.286
You can lean on other people to help you be successful.

00:21:42.625 --> 00:21:48.086
I think that's a huge mindset shift that has helped me and that I have seen, has helped many women entrepreneurs.

00:21:48.455 --> 00:21:49.441
And noticing that.

00:21:49.770 --> 00:21:54.361
And I think sometimes that starting really small of, oh yeah, I can hire someone to clean my house.

00:21:54.570 --> 00:22:06.030
I can go you get curbside or have my groceries delivered to the house, these little small things whether it's I'm gonna hand over the phone to someone else to my business.

00:22:06.330 --> 00:22:14.615
Another mindset is being able to notice as part of trusting yourself as to why you started the business to begin with.

00:22:15.195 --> 00:22:19.965
I think sometimes when we become really stressed out and overwhelmed, we lose track of that and.

00:22:20.971 --> 00:22:21.631
it's very normal.

00:22:21.931 --> 00:22:26.590
That's happened to me many times throughout my business time or as a business owner.

00:22:26.641 --> 00:22:30.851
But I think it's definitely having me to remind yourself, okay, why did I put myself in this situation?

00:22:30.911 --> 00:22:32.530
All right, this is important.

00:22:33.161 --> 00:22:34.090
These are the values.

00:22:34.096 --> 00:22:35.560
This is what I'm hoping to achieve.

00:22:35.566 --> 00:22:40.601
This is what I'm hoping to share with the world, and that can sometimes help in this grounding effect.

00:22:40.701 --> 00:22:54.030
As far as practical, going back to checking in, meditation is so important and I think when I, whenever I say meditation, sometimes people think of, I have to join a yoga studio.

00:22:54.036 --> 00:22:59.641
There's no way I can drive 30 minutes to Yoga studio, be there for an hour, drive back, oh my gosh, I have to get the cute yoga outfit.

00:22:59.641 --> 00:23:00.296
That's not what I mean.

00:23:00.865 --> 00:23:04.945
All I mean is can you check in with yourself for 30 seconds?

00:23:04.945 --> 00:23:06.675
Can you just be mindful of how you're feeling.

00:23:07.155 --> 00:23:13.701
Meditation is what you make of it, but it's just this intention of checking in with, how am I doing right now?

00:23:14.631 --> 00:23:17.871
Do I want to be doing this task at this moment?

00:23:18.500 --> 00:23:26.000
I have my weekly to-do list and there's days that I just don't feel like writing my therapy notes for the day.

00:23:26.421 --> 00:23:27.080
And that's okay.

00:23:27.080 --> 00:23:28.221
I can do it tomorrow.

00:23:28.941 --> 00:23:29.820
It's gonna get done.

00:23:30.141 --> 00:23:34.471
I know it's gonna get done, but it's that part of like, how am I feeling right now?

00:23:34.891 --> 00:23:35.776
Can I cancel that meeting?

00:23:36.631 --> 00:23:40.951
Can I push it back 30 minutes because I actually wanna finish my breakfast?

00:23:41.770 --> 00:23:44.080
These like little things of How am I doing right now?

00:23:44.080 --> 00:23:45.340
How am I taking care of me?

00:23:45.840 --> 00:23:51.000
And this is something that has been so helpful for me as well.

00:23:52.276 --> 00:23:56.060
Meditation and this intention of it's okay to choose me first in those moments.

00:23:56.701 --> 00:24:02.266
Because when I do that, I'm more present in the meetings, I'm not still chewing my food and being like, oh wait, what did you say?

00:24:02.266 --> 00:24:06.000
Because whoever's in the meeting with me is gonna be like, come on, why can't you?

00:24:06.560 --> 00:24:07.401
Hey, I showed up.

00:24:07.401 --> 00:24:08.060
Why can't you?

00:24:08.111 --> 00:24:10.181
So there's this part of noticing.

00:24:11.020 --> 00:24:11.671
your capacity.

00:24:12.151 --> 00:24:20.290
And that's what I mean, more of this awareness meditation of okay, this is what I'm doing in this moment for myself, as far as like a practical step.

00:24:20.530 --> 00:24:23.800
And I would highly recommend starting off with 30 seconds.

00:24:24.320 --> 00:24:27.135
I think everyone has 30 seconds their day to take a deep breath.

00:24:27.915 --> 00:24:28.905
How am I doing right now?

00:24:29.415 --> 00:24:30.405
I'm really stressed out.

00:24:30.496 --> 00:24:32.476
Okay, what's making me stressed?

00:24:32.596 --> 00:24:34.665
Oh, this, can I step away from it?

00:24:34.665 --> 00:24:36.016
Can I delay it?

00:24:36.016 --> 00:24:38.836
Can I, do I need to think about it a little bit more?

00:24:38.885 --> 00:24:45.030
So just like that thought process of going through, okay, how can I take care of me right now?

00:24:46.500 --> 00:24:48.990
Yeah, and that makes complete sense and I love that.

00:24:48.990 --> 00:24:50.530
It's like I'm always about that.

00:24:50.671 --> 00:24:52.515
That does not have to be long time.

00:24:52.775 --> 00:24:59.319
So for me I'll be working But for whatever reason, my brain, by certain points of the time this, it just gets tired.

00:24:59.480 --> 00:25:04.335
And I do five minute, there's five minute nap meditations on YouTube.

00:25:04.585 --> 00:25:06.805
And I come back and I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm ready to work again.

00:25:06.835 --> 00:25:07.045
Yeah.

00:25:07.345 --> 00:25:12.714
That five minutes literally can make or break my whole entire afternoon.

00:25:12.795 --> 00:25:15.904
So that I can feel energized and I'm that's what I need.

00:25:15.904 --> 00:25:17.134
Sometimes I need five or 10.

00:25:17.234 --> 00:25:19.605
My body doesn't do 20, 30 minute naps.

00:25:19.654 --> 00:25:20.765
It just doesn't.

00:25:20.815 --> 00:25:26.724
But for at five or 10 minutes, and sometimes I need more during the day, I'll do two or three depending on my energy level.

00:25:26.724 --> 00:25:27.775
But what a difference.

00:25:27.825 --> 00:25:33.200
And it's about giving yourself permission to be able to do that and say, okay, this is what I need right now.

00:25:33.700 --> 00:25:34.190
Yeah.

00:25:34.490 --> 00:25:41.980
I did this workshop last week and something that they talked about for another mindset shift that really stuck with me was you're not creating oxygen.

00:25:43.059 --> 00:25:46.994
The things that you're doing, the things that your business is doing, you're not creating oxygen.

00:25:47.000 --> 00:25:50.990
So it's not a emergency of it has to be done at this moment.

00:25:51.359 --> 00:25:54.680
Because I myself sometimes do this if oh my God, this call needs to be returned.

00:25:54.829 --> 00:25:55.819
This needs to be done right now.

00:25:55.869 --> 00:26:01.920
Actually, it doesn't have to be done I immediately, right now, what I'm doing isn't gonna make or break some point or make or break someone.

00:26:02.230 --> 00:26:02.950
So it's it's okay.

00:26:02.950 --> 00:26:04.420
I can slow down.

00:26:04.420 --> 00:26:04.660
Sure.

00:26:04.660 --> 00:26:11.684
There's moments of crises, but I think it's, still like we're an online mental health practice.

00:26:11.690 --> 00:26:20.980
So in those situations it's following protocol of safety, but those are very far and feet between so I think it's one of those things am I creating oxygen?

00:26:21.309 --> 00:26:21.609
No.

00:26:21.670 --> 00:26:22.059
Okay.

00:26:22.180 --> 00:26:22.960
it's gonna be okay.

00:26:23.869 --> 00:26:26.335
Ground yourself of I have permission to slow down.

00:26:26.525 --> 00:26:27.424
I think that's great.

00:26:27.424 --> 00:26:32.494
I love that idea, and the other thing, part of that I've heard is that we're not the one who's making ourselves breathes.

00:26:32.494 --> 00:26:41.345
Cuz sometimes we think we're doing everything and it's no, thank God we don't have to make ourselves breathe because we would be like, this is more important over here and forget.

00:26:41.345 --> 00:26:45.944
But I love that idea that you're, that, and I always say that there's no social media emergency.

00:26:46.505 --> 00:26:48.845
There is no social media emergency.

00:26:48.845 --> 00:26:49.654
I promise you.

00:26:49.835 --> 00:26:55.384
There's nothing that's gonna be so lit on fire that, and even if it was, your fans usually take care of it anyway.

00:26:55.414 --> 00:26:56.490
Is one of those things.

00:26:56.545 --> 00:26:58.105
So I think that's great.

00:26:58.105 --> 00:27:01.194
I wanna thank you so much for coming on the show today.

00:27:01.194 --> 00:27:05.365
It has been fabulous I know you have an offer for the listeners.

00:27:05.369 --> 00:27:10.315
So if you could let them know what that is and how to get in touch with you, that would be fantastic.

00:27:11.815 --> 00:27:12.414
Yeah.

00:27:12.414 --> 00:27:12.684
Yeah.

00:27:12.684 --> 00:27:21.035
So I have different online, courses on my website, which is modernwellnesscounseling.com and on it there's an online learning portal.

00:27:21.035 --> 00:27:24.605
So there's different courses that are focused in on relationships.

00:27:24.994 --> 00:27:38.535
There's gonna be a new course, By the time you hear this, it will already be out, and it is specifically on self-esteem and just different ways to incorporate self-care, different ways to break perfectionism and get out of this head space that sometimes.

00:27:39.674 --> 00:27:44.115
Prevent you from enjoying your life and feeling successful.

00:27:44.115 --> 00:27:48.075
So this is gonna be a really great course for anyone who's listening.

00:27:48.345 --> 00:27:56.115
You can get 20% off of any course by using the coupon code WW P 20, so for Wellness and Wealth Podcast.

00:27:56.115 --> 00:27:56.775
And then 20.

00:27:57.305 --> 00:28:00.724
Feel free to go by on modern one as counseling and check that out.

00:28:00.724 --> 00:28:06.859
And you're welcome to email me with any questions at info modern one is counseling.com.

00:28:06.859 --> 00:28:13.305
If you have any questions about any of the courses, I'll be happy to talk and chat and to see what's the best fit for you.

00:28:14.505 --> 00:28:15.704
Well, thank you so much.

00:28:15.710 --> 00:28:16.484
That is awesome.

00:28:16.535 --> 00:28:17.494
What a great offer.

00:28:17.549 --> 00:28:19.559
I wanna thank you so much for coming on.

00:28:19.559 --> 00:28:20.819
This has been a pleasure.

00:28:20.920 --> 00:28:21.339
Yeah.

00:28:21.339 --> 00:28:21.579
Yeah.

00:28:21.579 --> 00:28:30.440
Thank you again for having me and this is such a great podcast and everyone who's listening is getting so much information that I wish I had when I first started.

00:28:30.509 --> 00:28:32.759
So thank you to everybody who has listened.

00:28:32.759 --> 00:28:36.720
If you love this podcast, please subscribe to make sure that you hear all of them.

00:28:36.720 --> 00:28:40.890
And then also, Please feel free to write a review for us.

00:28:40.890 --> 00:28:41.970
We'd really appreciate that.

00:28:42.269 --> 00:28:48.109
In the meantime, until next time you hear one of our podcasts have an abundant week and many blessings.
Priscilla Rodriguez Profile Photo

LMFT/Founder/Owner

Priscilla Rodriguez is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Texas. She is the founder and owner of an online mental health group practice, Modern Wellness Counseling, that specializes in providing relationship counseling to couples who are looking to improve their communication and connection and also works with individuals who are struggling with anxiety, burnout, past trauma, and low self-esteem. Priscilla has also shares some online courses that focus on relationship building, self-care and improving self-esteem.