Dec. 21, 2022
Elizabeth Lykins - Inside Out Approach to Life
Are you a female entrepreneur who allows their life to be dictated by outside forces? Did you know that living inside out allows us to have a shift in our mental and physical well-being?
This week on the Wellness and Wealth podcast, Elizabeth Lykins of A Magnificent Metamorphosis LLC addresses why taking time to tap into our intuition allows us to gain profound personal insights. She’ll also share how not listening to our intuition can lead to unhappiness and physical manifestations. .
In this episode, Elizabeth Lykins answers the following questions:
- What does living inside out mean?
- How does one subtly look for something outside ourselves to feel better?
- As a culture, are we improving at listening to our intuition?
- What's the first step to stop doing that so they can be more aligned and live in the present?
Guest Offer: 50% Discount on a Creation Session with Elizabeth
Guest Link: https://www.amagnificentmetamorphosis.com/mentoring/index.html (Click the Contact Me Button and mention "Wellness and Wealth Podcast" for the discount.
Connect with Wendy Manganaro:
Connect with Wendy Manganaro:
Transcript
WEBVTT
00:00:00.569 --> 00:00:01.169
Hi everyone.
00:00:01.169 --> 00:00:06.719
My name's Wendy Manganaro and I am the Host of the Wellness and Wealth podcast.
00:00:06.809 --> 00:00:08.789
I'm so happy to have you find us.
00:00:09.359 --> 00:00:13.949
And if you could take a moment and hit that subscribe button, I'd really appreciate it.
00:00:14.939 --> 00:00:23.850
This is the podcast where we believe when you show up better for yourself as a woman business owner, you show up better for your business.
00:00:24.329 --> 00:00:25.769
So sit back, relax.
00:00:26.160 --> 00:00:30.239
And learn from the practical to the woo-hoo, how to best take care of you.
00:00:31.199 --> 00:00:32.070
Have a great day.
00:00:32.100 --> 00:00:33.000
Stay blessed.
00:00:33.719 --> 00:00:38.090
And leave a review when you're done listening to the show, thanks so much.
00:00:38.146 --> 00:00:38.866
Hi Everyone.
00:00:39.006 --> 00:00:45.204
This week our guest is Elizabeth Lykins and, we are going to talk about inside Out Living.
00:00:45.604 --> 00:00:48.034
I'm gonna read her bio and then we'll get started.
00:00:48.475 --> 00:00:52.465
Elizabeth is a transformational coach, digital publisher, and author.
00:00:52.914 --> 00:00:57.770
Elizabeth has extensive training and experience in emergency medicine and other specialties.
00:00:58.399 --> 00:01:04.069
She attended medical school in Seattle, Washington at the University of Washington Medical Center.
00:01:04.430 --> 00:01:07.299
She's been practicing medicine since 1996.
00:01:07.540 --> 00:01:15.230
She has received training and certifications in N L P TRANSFORMATIONAL Coaching, E F T C B T I.
00:01:16.500 --> 00:01:19.275
Clinical hypnotherapy and life success coaching.
00:01:19.605 --> 00:01:29.984
She primarily utilizes three principles, understanding by Sydney Banks and the works of Eckert Toll, Don Miguel Ruez, and others in her approach with clients.
00:01:30.045 --> 00:01:31.064
Welcome, Elizabeth.
00:01:31.995 --> 00:01:32.224
Thank you.
00:01:33.314 --> 00:01:34.034
Thank you.
00:01:34.245 --> 00:01:45.843
I'm so glad that you're here because we got to talk a little while ago about this idea of inside outliving so of course my first question is, what does that mean to you inside outliving?
00:01:46.016 --> 00:01:51.177
Most of us are conditioned from our early beginnings to look outside of us.
00:01:51.837 --> 00:01:57.626
To comfort us, to make us have some kind of a direction of what to do with our life.
00:01:58.117 --> 00:02:07.066
So we're always looking outside of ourself when what drives what we do that makes our life happy is what's going on inside of us.
00:02:07.667 --> 00:02:21.497
And so if we're constantly looking to someone else to make us happy, for example, that phrase in and of itself, so and so makes me happy is always false because no one has that ability.
00:02:21.896 --> 00:02:38.282
You have all of that within you, and that's what living from the inside out means is tapping into what you already are hardwired to know, but you tune it out because you stop trusting yourself and look to everyone else to give you direction.
00:02:39.122 --> 00:02:51.852
Now, that's not to say that we don't need education on things and guidelines but to think that someone else has the answer to give you happiness will always end in disaster.
00:02:52.542 --> 00:02:53.021
Always.
00:02:53.882 --> 00:03:12.762
I can't agree more and, whether it's in business or personal life, it's like that theory especially as women might've grown up with this idea, like when you get the husband, when you get the right job, you're always waiting for your happiness because you're always reaching the next goal and then not enjoying anything in between.
00:03:13.671 --> 00:03:20.977
And so we can look to other things and not to say that things don't give us joy temporarily.
00:03:21.546 --> 00:03:35.417
But if we're thinking things, people, events, someplace we have to get to, will make us happy once we get there, we're very disappointed cuz it only lasts a very short time.
00:03:36.507 --> 00:03:43.687
So in your experience, especially with the work that you do, am I on the right track of what people are searching for?
00:03:43.687 --> 00:03:53.862
Because, I've worked with entrepreneurs and I'm always like, enjoying the journey of getting there because you can hit the goal but I can't imagine how many ways that people can look outside of themselves.
00:03:53.923 --> 00:04:01.133
Addiction, definitely one of them where they're looking, that's an easy one to be like, oh, I'm looking for something outside of myself to make the inside feel better.
00:04:01.733 --> 00:04:03.342
But I think there's all these subtle ways.
00:04:04.848 --> 00:04:07.788
That sometimes we don't realize we do it either.
00:04:07.837 --> 00:04:15.777
I know the big ones like relationship and money and, but what are other ways that people do that, that we don't think that we're doing it?
00:04:15.777 --> 00:04:18.233
I could use my own life for an example.
00:04:18.283 --> 00:04:21.913
I spent the majority of my life until recent decade really?
00:04:23.038 --> 00:04:30.387
Either thinking about the past or looking to the future and not enjoying the moment I'm in.
00:04:31.017 --> 00:04:41.158
And really the only life we truly have is right this moment because whatever happened five minutes ago is just a memory, or 10 years ago, or 20 years ago.
00:04:41.577 --> 00:04:45.028
And the future is always uncertain.
00:04:45.028 --> 00:04:49.317
We have no idea what's gonna really happen, but we spend an enormous amount of time.
00:04:50.007 --> 00:04:56.398
I know I did not being in the present and missing out on everything.
00:04:56.877 --> 00:04:57.387
Everything.
00:04:57.747 --> 00:05:12.132
By doing that, I have videos of my daughter when she was an infant and I was working in emergency medicine then and working late nights and I'm looking at myself in that video and I don't even remember it.
00:05:12.793 --> 00:05:25.677
Because my mind was somewhere else and I wasn't there at the time but thankfully I have a video of that moment, but I don't consciously remember it cuz my mind was somewhere else.
00:05:26.307 --> 00:05:39.898
And I don't think that any of us can really excel in life or be happy if we're constantly thinking about, if I get to this place, then I'm gonna be happy.
00:05:40.617 --> 00:05:46.447
Or if only this happens, or if only I live here, or if only I do this, then I'll be happy.
00:05:47.367 --> 00:05:54.432
And it doesn't mean that we don't have to have goals because we need to direct our lives towards something, a direction.
00:05:54.583 --> 00:06:05.338
But if we see that as an end, we often miss out on the fact that what we thought we need to do is not what we need to do.
00:06:06.137 --> 00:06:07.307
We need to change direction.
00:06:08.908 --> 00:06:17.338
We can get so focused on that goal that by the time you get there, you realize you don't even like that and you're miserable.
00:06:17.788 --> 00:06:19.408
I have a lot of colleagues in that camp.
00:06:19.408 --> 00:06:26.963
It's like they went to medical school for years and they're, practicing medicine out and they hate it and they quit and they have all this debt.
00:06:27.062 --> 00:06:39.622
So, When you're in the midst of living what you think is gonna make you happy and to that point where living to what you think will make other people happy.
00:06:39.862 --> 00:06:48.098
Cuz a lot of times, especially when you have these high pressure jobs and I can't tell you the amount of people who say my parents wanted me to do this, so I did that.
00:06:48.178 --> 00:06:53.158
This thing where you're not really looking at if this is gonna make me happy until.
00:06:53.983 --> 00:07:06.283
Later in life when you're like, okay, maybe now I can, because maybe your parents aren't around or you've realized, but whatever that is, that alone, then you have the pressure of other people going.
00:07:06.283 --> 00:07:08.113
What do you mean you're walking away from that career?
00:07:08.113 --> 00:07:08.954
What do you mean?
00:07:09.894 --> 00:07:19.059
Because it seems so foreign for those who are still in the process of trying to get things from the outside to make the inside happy.
00:07:19.108 --> 00:07:20.428
So how do people deal with that?
00:07:20.428 --> 00:07:28.043
what's the best way to be okay walking away from my medical career, or walking away from this relationship even though my mom thinks I'm nuts.
00:07:28.074 --> 00:07:31.999
Whatever that is because it's not satisfying me anymore.
00:07:32.125 --> 00:07:38.545
I think that's where this viewing life from the inside out, which is really how it works.
00:07:38.545 --> 00:07:40.074
We just have to shut that off.
00:07:40.295 --> 00:07:49.055
What happens outside of us, we're just viewing, but our perception of everything is from inside of us looking outward.
00:07:49.704 --> 00:07:56.665
But we stop trusting that because we're taught to think smaller from the time we're little.
00:07:56.714 --> 00:07:58.154
Little girls don't do that.
00:07:58.154 --> 00:07:59.714
Good boys don't cry.
00:07:59.935 --> 00:08:07.829
All these things we hear and they're, well intentioned, I'm sure in most cases, but we stop listening to ourself.
00:08:08.069 --> 00:08:22.865
And so the way that you can always know the direction to take is checking in with yourself and really the way to get a heads up that something is not right, is how you're feeling.
00:08:23.615 --> 00:08:34.085
So whatever our thinking is, our body is designed to automatically follow that with a feeling so that you really save your life.
00:08:34.115 --> 00:08:36.664
We're designed to have this either fight or flight mode.
00:08:36.715 --> 00:08:39.565
Or feed and breed mode when things are mellow.
00:08:40.174 --> 00:08:41.284
We eat, we're happy.
00:08:42.164 --> 00:09:01.695
And so if we're thinking things that are in our mind, stressful, our body has this automatic fight or flight response, and it can't tell the difference between whether that's real or if it's imagined because our body's not designed to do that.
00:09:01.695 --> 00:09:21.419
It's designed to save our lives, our mortal life, and if you're feeling icky and unsettled and anxious, that's a tip off that whatever you're thinking cannot be trusted and you need to step back and not make any big decisions while you're feeling this unsettled feeling.
00:09:22.559 --> 00:09:33.250
And then walk away from that and whatever way that you can center yourself, whether it's just go take a walk or doing something truly mindless where you're not.
00:09:34.815 --> 00:09:35.774
Something repetitive.
00:09:35.774 --> 00:09:46.524
I know a lot of my best ideas come when I'm absolutely doing nothing like washing dishes or something completely free of any real mind activity.
00:09:47.220 --> 00:09:48.470
It's a pattern that you do.
00:09:49.009 --> 00:09:57.950
That's when I get my best insights, not trying to speak my way through it, because often what you need to do doesn't come from your intellect.
00:09:59.330 --> 00:10:00.830
The intellect can support that.
00:10:01.759 --> 00:10:09.500
But knowing what you need to do and getting this feeling that if you do this all will be well.
00:10:10.639 --> 00:10:17.879
I think that we don't pay attention to that cuz we don't trust it cause so and so said we should do this or that.
00:10:17.923 --> 00:10:27.364
And then you have this constant feeling of feeling agitated and unsettled and irritated because you're not doing what you really need to be doing.
00:10:27.629 --> 00:10:30.599
And I think that's the biggest tip off for everybody.
00:10:31.109 --> 00:10:45.548
Listening to your inner voice or your inner wisdom, or whatever words you wanna use to describe something that's really formalist and doesn't have words, an acquired skill because learned early in our life to med out.
00:10:45.548 --> 00:10:50.673
But, if you're watching small children, they live entirely in the present.
00:10:50.953 --> 00:10:54.374
They have a temper tantrum, it's over in 30 seconds.
00:10:54.374 --> 00:10:57.433
They go do something else, then they're playing and happy and they're over it.
00:10:58.153 --> 00:11:11.250
Adults not so much, and so we don't really listen to our own inner voice because we've been taught not to over the course of many years.
00:11:11.663 --> 00:11:13.403
I agree with that wholeheartedly.
00:11:13.403 --> 00:11:15.714
And it actually brings up a memory of mine.
00:11:15.714 --> 00:11:17.693
I don't even know if I was in my early twenties.
00:11:17.693 --> 00:11:27.464
I was between the ages of 17 and 18 and I was definitely one of those kids that was brought up to not listen to themselves.
00:11:28.798 --> 00:11:41.823
I was in a mixed group of something and I remember thinking, I have this feeling and I actually followed it for once, because I was raised in you listen to your parents, you don't answer Back.
00:11:41.894 --> 00:11:54.634
I didn't do it well, but that's what I was supposed to be raised with but saying that, I remember going, I don't know if guys get this I really thought it was innate to women that like, suddenly I got this feeling in my stomach that maybe this was not a good idea.
00:11:54.634 --> 00:11:55.504
Don't do this.
00:11:55.509 --> 00:11:56.614
This was not a good plan.
00:11:56.673 --> 00:12:00.303
It was so shocking to me to be like, I don't know what that is.
00:12:00.303 --> 00:12:10.413
Because I was finally at an age where I had to start relying on my own self as opposed to being like, my parents are gonna make this decision for me or tell me what to do here.
00:12:10.803 --> 00:12:14.364
And I remember, and I remember a man there going, we have that too.
00:12:14.364 --> 00:12:15.474
It's called intuition.
00:12:15.474 --> 00:12:17.244
I was like, I feel like, I dunno what that is.
00:12:19.533 --> 00:12:20.974
Do you think that's generational?
00:12:21.303 --> 00:12:22.413
Do you think we're getting better?
00:12:24.403 --> 00:12:25.333
Some ways yes.
00:12:25.333 --> 00:12:26.563
And in some ways, no.
00:12:26.833 --> 00:12:31.153
The instant gratification thing is off the charts more than it ever has.
00:12:31.163 --> 00:12:33.678
If we can't get something instantly, we're irritated.
00:12:34.259 --> 00:12:47.162
and so I think in that respect, modern technology has us distracted by our devices, you go in any store, any restaurant, anywhere, and people may be sitting together, but they're not really interacting.
00:12:47.162 --> 00:12:48.241
They're looking at their phone.
00:12:49.471 --> 00:12:51.091
Their iPad or whatever.
00:12:51.481 --> 00:12:58.601
So I think in some ways we might be acknowledging that you need to listen to your inner voice.
00:12:59.412 --> 00:13:02.501
And on the other hand, we have this technology that can suck us right out of that.
00:13:03.552 --> 00:13:06.017
And, I'm guilty of getting involved in that too.
00:13:06.017 --> 00:13:11.356
I'm thinking, no, I'm outside I don't need to be looking at my phone, who cares?
00:13:11.356 --> 00:13:15.226
Whatever is going on my phone right now, it's not an emergency.
00:13:15.537 --> 00:13:25.706
If someone needs to, they'll call me if there's an emergency or something and so really enjoying what's around you takes you out of that constant mind chatter.
00:13:26.937 --> 00:13:35.057
And then out of the blue, at least for myself and for a lot of people out of the blue, you'll get an idea that's completely unrelated to whatever it is you're.
00:13:36.206 --> 00:13:42.746
That is do this or you just have a thought that, oh, this is what I need to do.
00:13:44.576 --> 00:13:50.246
And it's not coming from your intellect, it's coming from a deeper place.
00:13:50.817 --> 00:13:53.277
And I've seen that in my own life.
00:13:53.326 --> 00:13:56.746
Here's a recent example of that, our dryer.
00:13:58.861 --> 00:14:04.201
The knobs wouldn't function as a digital thing, a Samsung digital dryer, and it wouldn't work.
00:14:04.201 --> 00:14:07.687
And I thought, oh gosh, I'm gonna have to call the tech guy to come out and look at it.
00:14:07.807 --> 00:14:11.787
And so I went over and turned off the circuit breaker and turned it back on.
00:14:11.787 --> 00:14:12.626
It still didn't work.
00:14:13.106 --> 00:14:14.636
And I thought, okay, I'm gonna have to call the guy.
00:14:14.636 --> 00:14:18.417
And then I had a thought check the child block.
00:14:19.706 --> 00:14:22.167
And I didn't even know that I had put it on somehow.
00:14:22.586 --> 00:14:23.817
Because I don't have a child in the house.
00:14:23.817 --> 00:14:27.226
My daughter's almost 19 and she does laundry, so I wouldn't wanna lock around.
00:14:27.586 --> 00:14:29.836
But I walked over and I did that and it worked.
00:14:29.876 --> 00:14:32.126
And I thought, what if I hadn't listened to that?
00:14:32.126 --> 00:14:40.677
I'd be calling this guy to come out and we'd charge me gazillion dollars to do exactly what I did is just disengage the child lock.
00:14:40.726 --> 00:14:51.886
Because I waited for a moment and didn't get all jacked up like I usually would like irritated thing, oh, this stupid thing, it's not working, and blah, blah, blah.
00:14:52.157 --> 00:14:58.126
I just waited for a few seconds, maybe 30 seconds, and I thought, okay, how do I call the guy?
00:14:58.131 --> 00:14:59.177
And then that thought came.
00:15:00.006 --> 00:15:06.726
And I think it's in those spaces when we allow space between actions.
00:15:07.298 --> 00:15:15.558
We often get a direction to go in, but if we immediately react to something rather than pause and then choose an action, we get in trouble.
00:15:15.778 --> 00:15:28.693
And I'm certainly not a hundred percent on that at all because, when I'm in medicine, I'm in a fast paced environment and you're taught to react quickly, but that is not always helpful in your personal life.
00:15:28.943 --> 00:15:33.644
It's really not usually helpful unless you're about ready to get hit by a bus and you need to get outta the way.
00:15:33.953 --> 00:15:40.634
So taking a pregnant pause as it sometimes calls where you just pause for a moment.
00:15:41.443 --> 00:15:42.553
Doesn't have to be long.
00:15:43.153 --> 00:15:45.833
Just stop and think, what should I do here?
00:15:47.514 --> 00:15:50.734
Because things aren't really always what they seem.
00:15:51.759 --> 00:16:05.489
Even if someone is angry and, agitated in a grocery store and yelling or whatever, we don't know if their parent just died or, something horrible happened.
00:16:05.749 --> 00:16:09.259
We often jumped to a conclusion myself and that camp too.
00:16:09.259 --> 00:16:12.188
Then I, I just get irritated rather than think, what's really going on?
00:16:12.796 --> 00:16:28.581
And there's always something more than we see, but if we choose an action rather than reacting instinctively, and it's usually when we do that, unless we're need to save our lives usually not gonna work out very well because you just snap back at somebody and then that escalates things.
00:16:29.640 --> 00:16:33.368
And that's what I was gonna ask you What is the difference between reacting and responding?
00:16:33.467 --> 00:16:47.253
Because how I react based on the instinct of the moment may be very different than how I respond, which could turn something completely around because I'm not overreacting.
00:16:47.562 --> 00:17:00.158
I call myself a recovering drama queen so learning how to take that breath to be like, okay, most things are not as big deal as my head initially wants to make it and it's been a long lesson for me.
00:17:00.249 --> 00:17:02.828
I still don't do it perfectly, but I do it better.
00:17:02.828 --> 00:17:10.669
I think that's the whole point is not perfection but as soon as you recognize that you're doing something you're already learning.
00:17:11.249 --> 00:17:22.648
I spent many years of my life where I just was completely unaware of how dysfunctional my way of thinking was about everything.
00:17:23.368 --> 00:17:28.128
And I think when you stop for a moment before you respond.
00:17:28.159 --> 00:17:29.328
It's very powerful.
00:17:29.568 --> 00:17:36.558
And even if someone's angry at you and you just pause and you look at them, it's disarming.
00:17:37.108 --> 00:17:38.459
They're like, you're supposed to be mad at me.
00:17:38.459 --> 00:17:39.683
Why aren't you yelling back at me?
00:17:39.683 --> 00:17:55.121
You can see this confusion in their face cuz they, they think you're going to respond in kind and if you don't, it creates a whole different dynamic in any situation, whether it's personal life, business, job situation, whatever.
00:17:55.820 --> 00:18:01.872
So I'm currently Teaching my son how to drive right now and my mindset going in has been okay.
00:18:02.711 --> 00:18:06.132
Unless we're actually gonna be injured, I have to not react.
00:18:06.192 --> 00:18:12.561
I just have to stay calm and I've been breathing Because I don't want this to be a terrifying thing to him.
00:18:12.561 --> 00:18:14.301
I want him to feel confident.
00:18:14.362 --> 00:18:24.436
And so, we're practicing parking lots first, but, that kind of idea of being able to mentally tell myself my job is to respond, not to react unless we're in real danger, which we haven't been.
00:18:24.462 --> 00:18:27.012
So that's been a real important thing.
00:18:27.063 --> 00:18:35.042
But knowing how to do that, where at one point, when my stepson was learning, the last thing I would've done is let that kid in the car.
00:18:35.103 --> 00:18:39.242
We're talking about a 10 year difference here, because I knew then I was not there.
00:18:39.573 --> 00:18:42.303
I was like, no, I will be completely reactionary.
00:18:42.303 --> 00:18:43.083
I don't wanna ruin it.
00:18:43.083 --> 00:18:44.252
So his dad taught him.
00:18:44.637 --> 00:18:46.617
But with my youngest, I'm like, okay, I can do this.
00:18:47.117 --> 00:18:47.728
I can do this.
00:18:47.728 --> 00:18:55.048
I can keep my mouth shut unless I have to, and just let him experience driving and that it's not a scary thing.
00:18:55.087 --> 00:19:05.008
And that's essentially what we're talking about is this idea of learning, like you were saying to say, okay, how can I respond to this differently so that it's not a negative?
00:19:05.048 --> 00:19:06.127
And that's the other thing too.
00:19:06.127 --> 00:19:24.767
And I think especially in business when we react and whether it's because we are gonna lose client or whatever it is I think that's that taking that breath as a business owner and saying, okay, this is not going to kill my whole business, let me take a breath.
00:19:24.926 --> 00:19:32.646
And Look at this because I think that's what part of what happens is a lot of times business owners, cuz there's a lot of fear in owning your own business.
00:19:32.646 --> 00:19:40.136
And I don't know if that thoroughly ever goes away, no matter how long you've been in it, but at least it's that idea of let me take a breath and look at what's happening
00:19:40.436 --> 00:19:40.977
Correct.
00:19:40.977 --> 00:19:50.126
And if your head is really feeling pressure about, if I don't get this sale, I'm not gonna be able to pay my mortgage.
00:19:50.636 --> 00:19:54.057
If that's all you're thinking about, the person that's gonna feel that.
00:19:54.112 --> 00:19:56.632
And they're gonna get creeped out and they're gonna run like the wind.
00:19:56.636 --> 00:20:00.757
They don't even know what the situation is, but they can feel this pressure.
00:20:01.876 --> 00:20:07.176
But if you have in your mind that this is who I am and this is what I do.
00:20:07.237 --> 00:20:14.166
And if you, if we're a good fit, then I'm happy to work with you and I'll do my best for you and whatever your business is, right?
00:20:14.196 --> 00:20:16.836
That's a whole different experience for the customer.
00:20:17.616 --> 00:20:31.537
I think we all feel that on social media, for example, LinkedIn is a fine example of that, where you may accept a connection with someone, and then the next thing you hear from them is a three page how I'm gonna help you.
00:20:32.787 --> 00:20:33.892
it feels creepy, doesn't it?
00:20:34.791 --> 00:20:37.041
Because there's not been a connection first.
00:20:37.162 --> 00:20:47.031
And I think, if we see perspective clients as people first, it makes the whole experience different.
00:20:47.241 --> 00:20:52.761
And it makes a big difference in the kind of people that are attracted to our business.
00:20:53.541 --> 00:20:57.761
People like to feel like they're respected and not pursued.
00:20:57.761 --> 00:21:08.291
So it doesn't matter what the business is, if you have that in your mind first as to how I can serve this person and help them you don't have to be a doormat, and you have limits yourself.
00:21:08.541 --> 00:21:12.622
but how can I assist this person?
00:21:13.821 --> 00:21:16.521
Then if you take it from that perspective, you're not thinking.
00:21:17.481 --> 00:21:23.432
Oh, I need the X amount of money that they're gonna pay me and then I can go on vacation and I can pay my bills and blah, blah, blah.
00:21:23.912 --> 00:21:33.192
But if that's not even part of what you're consciously thinking about when you're talking to each person, each client that comes in, they can feel that.
00:21:33.251 --> 00:21:38.791
And they can feel that you actually are listening and care about what they want.
00:21:39.092 --> 00:21:41.852
And I don't care who we are, everybody wants.
00:21:42.646 --> 00:21:50.307
You go in any kind of a business and if someone is even if someone is halfway pleasant and respectful, you remember?
00:21:50.356 --> 00:21:50.807
Absolutely.
00:21:51.047 --> 00:21:52.866
And I love it on LinkedIn, obviously.
00:21:53.176 --> 00:21:54.237
I work a lot on LinkedIn.
00:21:54.237 --> 00:22:03.967
I don't have but it cracks me up cuz one, I love the requests I get where they pre-sent something and I'm like, they didn't look at what I do when they are offering marking.
00:22:03.967 --> 00:22:05.467
And I'm like, did they even read it?
00:22:05.467 --> 00:22:07.807
I'm like, that's an automated something and that's okay.
00:22:07.836 --> 00:22:09.307
I'm not opposed to automation.
00:22:09.356 --> 00:22:10.196
But the right ones.
00:22:10.596 --> 00:22:18.487
I was invited to do a training, paid to do the training and the automation they sent me was like, we've never met before.
00:22:18.737 --> 00:22:38.571
And I was like that's a very strange thing, but I think that's what we're talking about is there's such an onus of let me make the sale instead of, let me get to know the person or let me see how I can help, and then allowing it to turn into something as opposed to follow the guru.
00:22:38.571 --> 00:22:43.531
And a lot of people do that thinking they're gonna grow their business and it turns a lot of people off and they don't realize it.
00:22:44.582 --> 00:23:12.622
And to that point, when people say, oh, here's the, the six steps to go through a ClickFunnel and you're gonna have this much conversion, blah, blah, blah, it's all nonsense because that may work for that person and that may be how they want to do their business, but I don't know about you, but when I'm on someone's email list, if they send me a barrage of things, buy, buy, buy, buy.
00:23:12.912 --> 00:23:14.051
I'm just turned off.
00:23:14.321 --> 00:23:22.561
And I may even know, of the people personally or, but the way that you message and the frequency, has an impact.
00:23:23.172 --> 00:23:25.211
I don't want to be one of those people.
00:23:25.616 --> 00:23:30.207
That annoys the heck out of people that I want to have a connection with.
00:23:31.616 --> 00:23:35.067
So I think that's where that inner wisdom can come in.
00:23:35.071 --> 00:23:43.436
Is this whatever this person is trying to sell me and teach me, is that something I really feel that I need to do?
00:23:44.007 --> 00:23:48.567
Does that align with the way I wanna do business or even get business?
00:23:48.926 --> 00:23:57.501
Because many of those I think feel like a way of gaming a person and tricking them into buying from you.
00:23:58.511 --> 00:24:04.551
When obviously we have to, present what we do and try to, make a sale.
00:24:04.551 --> 00:24:06.541
But it doesn't have to be creepy.
00:24:07.412 --> 00:24:08.761
You'd just be making a connection.
00:24:08.761 --> 00:24:11.561
Here's what I do and I'd love to help you out if you want.
00:24:11.652 --> 00:24:18.957
And, if they don't want to, then they go off and they may come back three months later and say, you know what, let's do it.
00:24:19.477 --> 00:24:23.471
It begins with Adding value and speaking of living on the inside out.
00:24:23.540 --> 00:24:26.038
I'll get a call and hear I need to be on this platform.
00:24:26.038 --> 00:24:29.808
And when I say, why, well, so-and-so said to do it.
00:00:00.569 --> 00:00:01.169
00:00:01.169 --> 00:00:06.719
00:00:06.809 --> 00:00:08.789
00:00:09.359 --> 00:00:13.949
00:00:14.939 --> 00:00:23.850
00:00:24.329 --> 00:00:25.769
00:00:26.160 --> 00:00:30.239
00:00:31.199 --> 00:00:32.070
00:00:32.100 --> 00:00:33.000
00:00:33.719 --> 00:00:38.090
00:00:38.146 --> 00:00:38.866
00:00:39.006 --> 00:00:45.204
00:00:45.604 --> 00:00:48.034
00:00:48.475 --> 00:00:52.465
00:00:52.914 --> 00:00:57.770
00:00:58.399 --> 00:01:04.069
00:01:04.430 --> 00:01:07.299
00:01:07.540 --> 00:01:15.230
00:01:16.500 --> 00:01:19.275
00:01:19.605 --> 00:01:29.984
00:01:30.045 --> 00:01:31.064
00:01:31.995 --> 00:01:32.224
00:01:33.314 --> 00:01:34.034
00:01:34.245 --> 00:01:45.843
00:01:46.016 --> 00:01:51.177
00:01:51.837 --> 00:01:57.626
00:01:58.117 --> 00:02:07.066
00:02:07.667 --> 00:02:21.497
00:02:21.896 --> 00:02:38.282
00:02:39.122 --> 00:02:51.852
00:02:52.542 --> 00:02:53.021
00:02:53.882 --> 00:03:12.762
00:03:13.671 --> 00:03:20.977
00:03:21.546 --> 00:03:35.417
00:03:36.507 --> 00:03:43.687
00:03:43.687 --> 00:03:53.862
00:03:53.923 --> 00:04:01.133
00:04:01.733 --> 00:04:03.342
00:04:04.848 --> 00:04:07.788
00:04:07.837 --> 00:04:15.777
00:04:15.777 --> 00:04:18.233
00:04:18.283 --> 00:04:21.913
00:04:23.038 --> 00:04:30.387
00:04:31.017 --> 00:04:41.158
00:04:41.577 --> 00:04:45.028
00:04:45.028 --> 00:04:49.317
00:04:50.007 --> 00:04:56.398
00:04:56.877 --> 00:04:57.387
00:04:57.747 --> 00:05:12.132
00:05:12.793 --> 00:05:25.677
00:05:26.307 --> 00:05:39.898
00:05:40.617 --> 00:05:46.447
00:05:47.367 --> 00:05:54.432
00:05:54.583 --> 00:06:05.338
00:06:06.137 --> 00:06:07.307
00:06:08.908 --> 00:06:17.338
00:06:17.788 --> 00:06:19.408
00:06:19.408 --> 00:06:26.963
00:06:27.062 --> 00:06:39.622
00:06:39.862 --> 00:06:48.098
00:06:48.178 --> 00:06:53.158
00:06:53.983 --> 00:07:06.283
00:07:06.283 --> 00:07:08.113
00:07:08.113 --> 00:07:08.954
00:07:09.894 --> 00:07:19.059
00:07:19.108 --> 00:07:20.428
00:07:20.428 --> 00:07:28.043
00:07:28.074 --> 00:07:31.999
00:07:32.125 --> 00:07:38.545
00:07:38.545 --> 00:07:40.074
00:07:40.295 --> 00:07:49.055
00:07:49.704 --> 00:07:56.665
00:07:56.714 --> 00:07:58.154
00:07:58.154 --> 00:07:59.714
00:07:59.935 --> 00:08:07.829
00:08:08.069 --> 00:08:22.865
00:08:23.615 --> 00:08:34.085
00:08:34.115 --> 00:08:36.664
00:08:36.715 --> 00:08:39.565
00:08:40.174 --> 00:08:41.284
00:08:42.164 --> 00:09:01.695
00:09:01.695 --> 00:09:21.419
00:09:22.559 --> 00:09:33.250
00:09:34.815 --> 00:09:35.774
00:09:35.774 --> 00:09:46.524
00:09:47.220 --> 00:09:48.470
00:09:49.009 --> 00:09:57.950
00:09:59.330 --> 00:10:00.830
00:10:01.759 --> 00:10:09.500
00:10:10.639 --> 00:10:17.879
00:10:17.923 --> 00:10:27.364
00:10:27.629 --> 00:10:30.599
00:10:31.109 --> 00:10:45.548
00:10:45.548 --> 00:10:50.673
00:10:50.953 --> 00:10:54.374
00:10:54.374 --> 00:10:57.433
00:10:58.153 --> 00:11:11.250
00:11:11.663 --> 00:11:13.403
00:11:13.403 --> 00:11:15.714
00:11:15.714 --> 00:11:17.693
00:11:17.693 --> 00:11:27.464
00:11:28.798 --> 00:11:41.823
00:11:41.894 --> 00:11:54.634
00:11:54.634 --> 00:11:55.504
00:11:55.509 --> 00:11:56.614
00:11:56.673 --> 00:12:00.303
00:12:00.303 --> 00:12:10.413
00:12:10.803 --> 00:12:14.364
00:12:14.364 --> 00:12:15.474
00:12:15.474 --> 00:12:17.244
00:12:19.533 --> 00:12:20.974
00:12:21.303 --> 00:12:22.413
00:12:24.403 --> 00:12:25.333
00:12:25.333 --> 00:12:26.563
00:12:26.833 --> 00:12:31.153
00:12:31.163 --> 00:12:33.678
00:12:34.259 --> 00:12:47.162
00:12:47.162 --> 00:12:48.241
00:12:49.471 --> 00:12:51.091
00:12:51.481 --> 00:12:58.601
00:12:59.412 --> 00:13:02.501
00:13:03.552 --> 00:13:06.017
00:13:06.017 --> 00:13:11.356
00:13:11.356 --> 00:13:15.226
00:13:15.537 --> 00:13:25.706
00:13:26.937 --> 00:13:35.057
00:13:36.206 --> 00:13:42.746
00:13:44.576 --> 00:13:50.246
00:13:50.817 --> 00:13:53.277
00:13:53.326 --> 00:13:56.746
00:13:58.861 --> 00:14:04.201
00:14:04.201 --> 00:14:07.687
00:14:07.807 --> 00:14:11.787
00:14:11.787 --> 00:14:12.626
00:14:13.106 --> 00:14:14.636
00:14:14.636 --> 00:14:18.417
00:14:19.706 --> 00:14:22.167
00:14:22.586 --> 00:14:23.817
00:14:23.817 --> 00:14:27.226
00:14:27.586 --> 00:14:29.836
00:14:29.876 --> 00:14:32.126
00:14:32.126 --> 00:14:40.677
00:14:40.726 --> 00:14:51.886
00:14:52.157 --> 00:14:58.126
00:14:58.131 --> 00:14:59.177
00:15:00.006 --> 00:15:06.726
00:15:07.298 --> 00:15:15.558
00:15:15.778 --> 00:15:28.693
00:15:28.943 --> 00:15:33.644
00:15:33.953 --> 00:15:40.634
00:15:41.443 --> 00:15:42.553
00:15:43.153 --> 00:15:45.833
00:15:47.514 --> 00:15:50.734
00:15:51.759 --> 00:16:05.489
00:16:05.749 --> 00:16:09.259
00:16:09.259 --> 00:16:12.188
00:16:12.796 --> 00:16:28.581
00:16:29.640 --> 00:16:33.368
00:16:33.467 --> 00:16:47.253
00:16:47.562 --> 00:17:00.158
00:17:00.249 --> 00:17:02.828
00:17:02.828 --> 00:17:10.669
00:17:11.249 --> 00:17:22.648
00:17:23.368 --> 00:17:28.128
00:17:28.159 --> 00:17:29.328
00:17:29.568 --> 00:17:36.558
00:17:37.108 --> 00:17:38.459
00:17:38.459 --> 00:17:39.683
00:17:39.683 --> 00:17:55.121
00:17:55.820 --> 00:18:01.872
00:18:02.711 --> 00:18:06.132
00:18:06.192 --> 00:18:12.561
00:18:12.561 --> 00:18:14.301
00:18:14.362 --> 00:18:24.436
00:18:24.462 --> 00:18:27.012
00:18:27.063 --> 00:18:35.042
00:18:35.103 --> 00:18:39.242
00:18:39.573 --> 00:18:42.303
00:18:42.303 --> 00:18:43.083
00:18:43.083 --> 00:18:44.252
00:18:44.637 --> 00:18:46.617
00:18:47.117 --> 00:18:47.728
00:18:47.728 --> 00:18:55.048
00:18:55.087 --> 00:19:05.008
00:19:05.048 --> 00:19:06.127
00:19:06.127 --> 00:19:24.767
00:19:24.926 --> 00:19:32.646
00:19:32.646 --> 00:19:40.136
00:19:40.436 --> 00:19:40.977
00:19:40.977 --> 00:19:50.126
00:19:50.636 --> 00:19:54.057
00:19:54.112 --> 00:19:56.632
00:19:56.636 --> 00:20:00.757
00:20:01.876 --> 00:20:07.176
00:20:07.237 --> 00:20:14.166
00:20:14.196 --> 00:20:16.836
00:20:17.616 --> 00:20:31.537
00:20:32.787 --> 00:20:33.892
00:20:34.791 --> 00:20:37.041
00:20:37.162 --> 00:20:47.031
00:20:47.241 --> 00:20:52.761
00:20:53.541 --> 00:20:57.761
00:20:57.761 --> 00:21:08.291
00:21:08.541 --> 00:21:12.622
00:21:13.821 --> 00:21:16.521
00:21:17.481 --> 00:21:23.432
00:21:23.912 --> 00:21:33.192
00:21:33.251 --> 00:21:38.791
00:21:39.092 --> 00:21:41.852
00:21:42.646 --> 00:21:50.307
00:21:50.356 --> 00:21:50.807
00:21:51.047 --> 00:21:52.866
00:21:53.176 --> 00:21:54.237
00:21:54.237 --> 00:22:03.967
00:22:03.967 --> 00:22:05.467
00:22:05.467 --> 00:22:07.807
00:22:07.836 --> 00:22:09.307
00:22:09.356 --> 00:22:10.196
00:22:10.596 --> 00:22:18.487
00:22:18.737 --> 00:22:38.571
00:22:38.571 --> 00:22:43.531
00:22:44.582 --> 00:23:12.622
00:23:12.912 --> 00:23:14.051
00:23:14.321 --> 00:23:22.561
00:23:23.172 --> 00:23:25.211
00:23:25.616 --> 00:23:30.207
00:23:31.616 --> 00:23:35.067
00:23:35.071 --> 00:23:43.436
00:23:44.007 --> 00:23:48.567
00:23:48.926 --> 00:23:57.501
00:23:58.511 --> 00:24:04.551
00:24:04.551 --> 00:24:06.541
00:24:07.412 --> 00:24:08.761
00:24:08.761 --> 00:24:11.561
00:24:11.652 --> 00:24:18.957
00:24:19.477 --> 00:24:23.471
00:24:23.540 --> 00:24:26.038
00:24:26.038 --> 00:24:29.808