Nov. 9, 2022

Cheyenne Mease - How to Avoid Burnout

Are you a female entrepreneur wondering how to bring your passion and training and integrate it into your everyday life? Are you okay with having an ebb and flow in your work/life balance?

On this week’s Wellness and Wealth podcast, Cheyenne Mease of Health Heart Soul LLC shares what it looks like to go from a challenging, always-on-the-go schedule of Mom, Caretaker, Employee, and Volunteering to one of flexibility. In addition, this episode will cover how she uses a color-coded calendar system to help her see if things are getting off balance.

In this episode, Cheyenne Mease answers the following questions:

What is an integrated schedule?
How do you accept that you may not get it all done?
How do you stop feeling guilty when you can’t self-care?
How do you know if you are heading into burnout?
What is a practical way to get started setting boundaries?

Support the show

Connect with Wendy Manganaro:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wendymanganaro1/

Connect with Wendy Manganaro:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/wendymanganaro1/

Transcript

WEBVTT

00:00:00.569 --> 00:00:01.169
Hi everyone.

00:00:01.169 --> 00:00:06.719
My name's Wendy Manganaro and I am the Host of the Wellness and Wealth podcast.

00:00:06.809 --> 00:00:08.789
I'm so happy to have you find us.

00:00:09.359 --> 00:00:13.949
And if you could take a moment and hit that subscribe button, I'd really appreciate it.

00:00:14.939 --> 00:00:23.850
This is the podcast where we believe when you show up better for yourself as a woman business owner, you show up better for your business.

00:00:24.329 --> 00:00:25.769
So sit back, relax.

00:00:26.160 --> 00:00:30.239
And learn from the practical to the woo-hoo, how to best take care of you.

00:00:31.199 --> 00:00:32.070
Have a great day.

00:00:32.100 --> 00:00:33.000
Stay blessed.

00:00:33.719 --> 00:00:38.090
And leave a review when you're done listening to the show, thanks so much.

00:00:38.590 --> 00:00:39.369
Hey everyone.

00:00:39.369 --> 00:00:45.348
As always, we have another great show today we are with Cheyenne Meese I'm going to read your bio.

00:00:45.808 --> 00:00:51.048
Her success rests on a tryout of innate calling in depth study and real world experience.

00:00:51.048 --> 00:01:01.448
A sought after practitioner for over 30 years for profound energetic awareness and down to earth synergistic approach defies an ordinary label.

00:01:01.874 --> 00:01:03.579
Friends call her the getter done girl.

00:01:03.926 --> 00:01:06.463
Clients consider her their inspirationalist.

00:01:06.760 --> 00:01:09.292
Cheyenne awoke to her calling very early in life.

00:01:09.292 --> 00:01:13.102
Her mission was, has always been helping people help themselves.

00:01:13.102 --> 00:01:22.447
To that end, she has undertaken years of ongoing study and training in a broad spectrum of disciplines, including counseling, wellness, mysticism, and philosophy.

00:01:22.686 --> 00:01:27.816
Her formal education includes intensive lectures by the 14th Dalai Lama that touched her soul.

00:01:27.816 --> 00:01:42.736
Spiritual mentoring by three of the intergenerational counsel of 13 indigenous grandmothers validating the work she's here to do as well as extensive training with the Princeton Family Center, the American Polarity Therapy Association.

00:01:43.121 --> 00:01:47.111
The Spring Forest Healing Center and the network of victim assistance.

00:01:47.501 --> 00:01:59.221
In addition to the fast knowledge, she brings a profound capacity for empathy and intuition to every client in insightful, and actionable ways based in her home on a working form in Eastern Pennsylvania.

00:01:59.581 --> 00:02:03.712
This plain spoken grandmother is referred by medical practitioners and called.

00:02:04.456 --> 00:02:11.836
Upon directly by individuals in need of support, guidance, and empowerment during difficult times, she serves both remote and local clients.

00:02:12.227 --> 00:02:14.356
So welcome to the show, Cheyenne.

00:02:14.361 --> 00:02:16.247
Thank you so much for being here with me today.

00:02:16.856 --> 00:02:18.026
Thanks for having me on.

00:02:18.787 --> 00:02:21.719
You are on a working farm which I think, is amazing.

00:02:21.719 --> 00:02:26.128
So I wanna get into the show because our topic today is an integrated life.

00:02:26.179 --> 00:02:30.504
I know that meanings of words or definitions, there's textbook and then there, what do they mean to you?

00:02:30.504 --> 00:02:32.905
So what does an integrated life mean to you?

00:02:34.629 --> 00:02:42.788
Integrated life to me would mean regardless of what you do for a living or a career, farming and ranching to me is really a lifestyle.

00:02:43.177 --> 00:02:45.217
So we have a lifestyle of that.

00:02:45.277 --> 00:02:57.000
And then how do we take everyday life, my profession as a career person, as well as the calling that I have, which kind of overlap and go together.

00:02:57.659 --> 00:02:58.800
Early on there was.

00:02:58.832 --> 00:03:12.181
I'd go off and do a training and then I'd come back to two kids in high school or middle school and soccer games and taking care of my grandmother and being on different volunteer groups.

00:03:12.181 --> 00:03:14.131
And it was challenging.

00:03:14.164 --> 00:03:16.625
I would study and I would have all of this.

00:03:16.639 --> 00:03:21.199
Stuff going on a weekend or a week long and then come back and it was like living in two worlds.

00:03:21.530 --> 00:03:24.800
So to me, integrated is how do you take those and you bring them together?

00:03:24.800 --> 00:03:32.000
How do you bring in, whatever your passion is in life, your training, and integrate it into your everyday life?

00:03:32.004 --> 00:03:34.340
So it's not like you're on, you're off.

00:03:34.407 --> 00:03:45.606
I love that because I even know for myself for years I had my company and ran a non-profit and I always in my head somehow thought it had to be separate and not realize that the same person did both.

00:03:45.671 --> 00:03:51.972
And I think there's like something in society where we're told to compartmentalize our life.

00:03:52.021 --> 00:03:57.014
Actually, even if you think of work life balance, it's okay, you have your work, you have your life, as opposed to being a whole.

00:03:58.343 --> 00:04:01.304
So that work life balance is always an interesting topic.

00:04:01.304 --> 00:04:04.633
I'm sure you've talked to people about it before and you will again.

00:04:04.633 --> 00:04:06.524
And to me, it's always changing.

00:04:07.093 --> 00:04:17.192
So I like to think of work life balance it isn't a 50 50 it's this 20 80, 80, 20, 70, 30, and it's gonna ebb and flow.

00:04:17.192 --> 00:04:17.851
And if we.

00:04:17.947 --> 00:04:22.562
Ride those waves, navigate through life I think we're healthier.

00:04:23.103 --> 00:04:26.642
We can appreciate glass half full, not half empty.

00:04:26.642 --> 00:04:29.853
What is working what as opposed to what isn't working?

00:04:29.877 --> 00:04:33.355
There's value in what isn't working because you can't fix it if you don't.

00:04:34.555 --> 00:04:37.975
Look at the squeaky wheel and figure out why it's squeaking or not working.

00:04:37.980 --> 00:04:49.278
But we can, have a tendency if we're not careful either by our upbringing, hard wiring as I would say, or society depending on what you watch, what feeds you.

00:04:49.882 --> 00:04:52.043
Whether your glass is half full or half empty.

00:04:52.115 --> 00:05:04.480
Taking a look at that, to me there's that work life balance is an interesting, how cool is it if your career and your passion is your life work, that would be great if we could all do that, but we can't.

00:05:04.569 --> 00:05:05.079
Right?

00:05:05.410 --> 00:05:14.050
So then how do we appreciate what we do for a living that it affords us to do those other things we want to do.

00:05:14.860 --> 00:05:25.557
I like the fact that you talked about ebb and flow too because I think that when you have ebb and flow, it's okay to it's okay to like tweak as you go because

00:05:25.637 --> 00:05:26.187
Oh, I love that.

00:05:32.088 --> 00:05:35.007
Ebb may be very different tomorrow.

00:05:35.218 --> 00:05:36.028
Exactly.

00:05:36.333 --> 00:05:43.452
So I think that's a really important thing to consider is when we're doing this and so for you especially because you are living on a ranch.

00:05:43.483 --> 00:05:49.752
It's a working ranch, so I know that you're doing things there, plus you have your clients, plus you have your family, right?

00:05:49.752 --> 00:05:59.790
So you have it all and I'd be interested to know from your perspective, because a lot of times when it's somebody looking in, somebody might go how do you get it all done?

00:05:59.819 --> 00:06:07.559
Because that's a lot to have on one's plate where you don't feel like you're cheating one from the other.

00:06:08.269 --> 00:06:10.098
You don't always get it all done.

00:06:10.309 --> 00:06:11.988
I think that's the first thing.

00:06:12.168 --> 00:06:19.011
That's a wonderful objective or goal to have or eye on the prize, so to speak.

00:06:19.011 --> 00:06:29.427
That would be what I'd really like to happen today with being able to receive the fact that might not happen and farming and ranching, mother nature governs so much of that.

00:06:30.387 --> 00:06:31.586
It rained yesterday.

00:06:31.586 --> 00:06:35.547
No one was cutting hay whether you wanted to or not.

00:06:35.547 --> 00:06:40.107
That was on the agenda, but it didn't stop raining early enough to make that happen.

00:06:40.586 --> 00:06:44.966
Bailing season, you start bailing hay and everything worked.

00:06:45.387 --> 00:06:52.925
When you started all the equipment up after a long winter's nap, but then when you get in the field, something's clogging or a, something's not working.

00:06:52.925 --> 00:06:56.766
So how can you receive what's going on and navigate with it.

00:06:56.826 --> 00:06:58.745
And I think it's a metaphor for life.

00:06:58.795 --> 00:07:01.119
We have this awesome idea, it's just gonna look like this.

00:07:01.124 --> 00:07:02.439
And it doesn't always look like that.

00:07:02.517 --> 00:07:09.197
I had a client this morning, I do remote work similar sometimes it's at WhatsApp, FaceTime, phone.

00:07:09.677 --> 00:07:11.468
Some people come here to the farm.

00:07:11.468 --> 00:07:24.732
But I know working with a woman who went through a liver transplant during the pandemic and her work life balance, ebb and flow and navigating life has changed greatly from prior to a liver transplant.

00:07:25.482 --> 00:07:28.482
Then going through the pandemic with that and now.

00:07:30.036 --> 00:07:35.257
Her life is not gonna be like it was four years ago, or three years ago, or two years ago.

00:07:35.706 --> 00:07:38.132
And so meeting life where we're at.

00:07:38.170 --> 00:07:44.836
And when we originally talked about connecting up here, it was about how do we support ourselves as women entrepreneurs?

00:07:44.836 --> 00:07:52.336
And a lot of times, women entrepreneurs maybe you don't have children, but we have pets or we have siblings or parents that need our care.

00:07:52.336 --> 00:07:57.956
There's other things going on, like you said, working in a non-for-profit and how do we do that without burning out?

00:07:57.956 --> 00:07:59.858
How do we support ourselves as we go through that?

00:07:59.858 --> 00:08:03.557
And I think that's gonna change, depending on what you're doing.

00:08:03.887 --> 00:08:27.927
There are times when my life is calling a lot of energy for me, and so I'm not gonna work as many hours or with as many clients or my client base is a very heavy, intense, they're dealing with life and death decisions or I'm down at chop working with someone and that's gonna take a different level of focus and energy from me, just like with a farm.

00:08:28.858 --> 00:08:31.117
We're real busy during hay season.

00:08:31.132 --> 00:08:33.261
Planting, and then there's that ebb and flow.

00:08:33.317 --> 00:08:42.620
So you wanna take time when we aren't 12 in 18 hour days and smell the roses, enjoy life a little bit because it's gonna rise again.

00:08:43.801 --> 00:08:45.995
And I like that you said that it'll rise again.

00:08:46.014 --> 00:08:52.868
And to that point where we talking about burnout and what that looks like, I think some

00:08:53.567 --> 00:09:01.037
entrepreneurs specifically is not feeling the guilt in between especially if you're wearing so many different hats, how do you do that?

00:09:01.086 --> 00:09:04.528
I was actually talking to a friend of mine the other day and she said I don't feel good today.

00:09:04.528 --> 00:09:08.777
And I'm fighting my head all day going, It's okay just to say it.

00:09:08.777 --> 00:09:10.308
Cuz that's a common issue.

00:09:10.938 --> 00:09:13.938
We tend to be our worst enemy sometimes, right?

00:09:13.999 --> 00:09:18.298
We've got that chatter going on in our head, and we have to wonder like, where did that come from?

00:09:18.330 --> 00:09:23.490
Were we programmed that way based on a parent and that's not bad on them.

00:09:23.490 --> 00:09:24.450
That's just what.

00:09:25.034 --> 00:09:26.738
We learned or what they learned.

00:09:26.807 --> 00:09:29.099
Early on when we bought the farm, we got here.

00:09:29.104 --> 00:09:32.158
The farm had nothing done to it for 50 some years.

00:09:32.158 --> 00:09:41.139
There was a lot of renovation to do and So I do chi-gong, meditation, yoga, have all these tools, taken all these classes, teach all these things.

00:09:41.139 --> 00:09:46.120
And I remember one day being on this 70 acres of farmland and I can go for my walk.

00:09:46.120 --> 00:09:47.432
And I'm out walking.

00:09:47.461 --> 00:09:52.307
And in my mind I'm like I didn't get my meditation done and when am I gonna do my chi-gong?

00:09:52.332 --> 00:09:57.832
I can laugh about it now cause I'm like, Oh my God, I'm stressing out over relaxing.

00:09:57.832 --> 00:10:01.405
I'm like, Okay, time out breathe.

00:10:02.515 --> 00:10:03.686
Today I gotta walk.

00:10:04.255 --> 00:10:09.998
If I can get my chi-gong on in, and if I can't, then it's up to me to be okay with that.

00:10:10.019 --> 00:10:15.624
So some of that to me is grab the bull by the horns and look it right in the eye and go, This is crazy.

00:10:15.624 --> 00:10:17.004
This is today.

00:10:17.183 --> 00:10:24.038
Just sitting down and having a class of sweet tea or something is my relaxation and how I receive it.

00:10:24.038 --> 00:10:37.943
I had a teacher who, actually it was one of the sutras about a woman who went to follow her teacher and she left her family, and the teacher was like, Woman, go home and draw water from the well and do it mindfully.

00:10:37.943 --> 00:10:39.063
And you are my student.

00:10:39.063 --> 00:10:42.337
So it's the presence that we bring to what we do.

00:10:42.337 --> 00:10:44.707
So doing dishes can be meditative.

00:10:45.378 --> 00:10:53.400
So I teach a lot of my people like tools, That's the what are some of the things that you can do while you're waiting in line at the grocery store?

00:10:53.490 --> 00:10:56.610
You can practice standing on one foot and balance.

00:10:56.936 --> 00:11:03.895
You can practice like shutting out the noise and taking six deep breaths while you're in line waiting to check out.

00:11:04.316 --> 00:11:09.538
We don't always have to have as lovely as it would be to have that hour and a half all to ourselves.

00:11:09.538 --> 00:11:12.477
I live a very full busy.

00:11:14.432 --> 00:11:20.663
And the best laid plans can go awry when somebody says, Can you run me to the field to get a tractor?

00:11:20.663 --> 00:11:34.519
Or, We're gonna move equipment and we need somebody, or a client calls and says I'm sitting in the doctor's office and they're like, Your bps double what it should be, and you need to call Cheyenne.

00:11:34.609 --> 00:11:38.719
And so I'm finding a way to bring them in as soon as possible.

00:11:39.048 --> 00:11:50.269
I put into my schedule, for instance, I ran into myself again on this one where I would be booked so tight that there was no room for those emergencies where people can't wait.

00:11:50.948 --> 00:12:00.725
Or somebody's, been in a car accident and icu and it's I just used up, 98% of my air today and now somebody needs 20 and I only have two left.

00:12:00.759 --> 00:12:10.658
So I schedule what I call floaters whenever possible so that I can bring people in and it doesn't become too much.

00:12:11.923 --> 00:12:13.663
I color code my calendar.

00:12:13.754 --> 00:12:17.563
That's the other thing I do a very practical thing on my laptop.

00:12:18.254 --> 00:12:21.703
I have a color for babysitting or being with the grandkids.

00:12:21.703 --> 00:12:29.083
One for helping with Meadowbrook Farms, one for seeing clients, one for me, one for days to celebrate.

00:12:29.953 --> 00:12:43.384
And then I can look at my week, day, or month by the color and get an idea whether I'm doing a way more clients than maybe is good for me or, wow, I've really been giving a lot of my time over here.

00:12:43.754 --> 00:12:44.044
I.

00:12:44.495 --> 00:12:45.154
How about me?

00:12:45.154 --> 00:12:46.054
Where's my color?

00:12:47.105 --> 00:12:48.634
That's a practical thing that I do.

00:12:48.664 --> 00:12:49.499
I really love that.

00:12:49.499 --> 00:12:56.888
And you know what you're talking about too, because I have experienced this where, you've built up no time for things that aren't going to go right.

00:12:56.888 --> 00:13:00.082
I am somebody who didn't like structure, who now likes structure.

00:13:00.082 --> 00:13:06.086
I don't know when that really happened to me cuz I was that person that was like, I don't need a schedule.

00:13:06.140 --> 00:13:11.634
And then I had a baby and chemical, something changed and I was like, Oh, we have a schedule.

00:13:11.634 --> 00:13:13.495
And then I was like, too scheduled.

00:13:13.495 --> 00:13:18.154
I went through this where, I didn't put in the emergencies.

00:13:18.195 --> 00:13:29.400
And I think that's what most people forget to build into their schedule is that there's what we wanna do and then there's what life hands us and how to Make that work together.

00:13:29.980 --> 00:13:31.673
What it presents to you that day.

00:13:31.773 --> 00:13:40.383
It's natural to think about those emergencies or those have tos, but what about the opportunity to meet a friend for a coffee or go for a walk?

00:13:41.283 --> 00:13:53.025
I was able to do that this morning because I had some flex and I got a text at nine o'clock last night from someone that I haven't seen or heard from in a while, and she's Hey, any chance of getting a coffee or breakfast or a walk?

00:13:53.030 --> 00:13:54.225
And I was like, Let's walk.

00:13:54.826 --> 00:14:04.167
So I could combine getting my walk in along with reconnecting with someone and if my schedule was packed too tight, that wouldn't happen.

00:14:04.208 --> 00:14:15.464
I think having the availability for those unexpected, when a friend needs a ride or something happens, but also for the idea that you could, Oh, it's nice out today.

00:14:15.724 --> 00:14:16.573
Let's go to the lake.

00:14:17.203 --> 00:14:22.964
And you can still get everything done that you need to do, and you can enjoy the day as it goes.

00:14:23.423 --> 00:14:27.604
That's so important because I think that, when I started my business, it was to the other side.

00:14:27.604 --> 00:14:29.017
I was like oh yeah, that I have to work.

00:14:29.043 --> 00:14:32.727
So there's always that, and that's why I like that ebb and flow, cuz you learn as you go.

00:14:32.921 --> 00:14:36.144
And I love the fact that you color code your calendar so that you can see.

00:14:36.144 --> 00:14:43.346
That's great, for anybody who's visual, that's a great way to be like oh, there's not enough family time, or there's not enough, whatever it is.

00:14:43.346 --> 00:14:44.216
I love that idea.

00:14:44.267 --> 00:14:47.673
I'm very visual So that works in my head, to see colors.

00:14:48.857 --> 00:14:53.423
For those who are headed into burnout but they don't even realize, how do you know if you're burning out?

00:14:53.423 --> 00:14:59.402
And then two, what self check can you do to bring themselves back?

00:14:59.578 --> 00:15:03.484
So everybody has a different definition of what burnout is.

00:15:03.484 --> 00:15:05.160
It just like you're color coded.

00:15:05.520 --> 00:15:12.206
I may have a lot of right now my grandkids maybe, you'd look at and go, Wow, you are really giving a lot of time.

00:15:12.206 --> 00:15:14.726
And I'd be like, No, it's actually exactly what I want right now.

00:15:14.726 --> 00:15:18.731
Cause they're only little so long and this too shall pass or change.

00:15:18.764 --> 00:15:30.559
I think when you start feeling you're resenting, you have resentment, you're feeling angry or cranky, kissy, to put it bluntly is where's that coming from?

00:15:30.638 --> 00:15:37.898
And then one of my big one tall tales is if you hear the words, Should I should do that?

00:15:37.927 --> 00:15:40.900
If you were my client, I'd be like, stop shoulding on yourself.

00:15:41.730 --> 00:15:42.600
And then they'll laugh.

00:15:42.880 --> 00:15:58.376
I actually had a client who's an entrepreneur, been in business for 20 some years and always felt the need to make all the funerals of anybody she remotely was connected to.

00:15:58.381 --> 00:16:00.476
And it caused her so much stress.

00:16:01.197 --> 00:16:03.734
And she's But I should go to this service.

00:16:03.764 --> 00:16:04.938
And I'm always really?

00:16:05.359 --> 00:16:13.301
And we started talking about alternatives and I said, The truth of it is, if you're not that person's person, there's gonna be a lot of people at this service.

00:16:13.390 --> 00:16:22.957
What if you send a card and then a month later, two months, even later, when everybody forgot that loved one is gone, you reached out to them and.

00:16:23.398 --> 00:16:24.567
Can I take you to lunch?

00:16:24.567 --> 00:16:33.687
Or I'd love to meet you for a coffee or wanna meet you at the lake for a walk when you have the time, because this person's schedule was like really crazy.

00:16:33.687 --> 00:16:38.370
And if someone dies in the funerals right away, it's in three days, how am I gonna clear my schedule for this?

00:16:38.370 --> 00:16:41.965
I have meetings in the city and then there's all this stress.

00:16:41.965 --> 00:16:47.309
And I would watch her just go into, Spiral of knots and we had to talk.

00:16:47.309 --> 00:16:50.590
And it's getting in your face, your own face.

00:16:50.657 --> 00:16:51.167
Be real.

00:16:51.167 --> 00:16:52.157
Like really?

00:16:52.162 --> 00:16:54.256
Are you really that key person?

00:16:54.261 --> 00:16:58.216
And why are you going And is this a business thing?

00:16:58.221 --> 00:16:59.356
Is it genuine?

00:16:59.956 --> 00:17:01.542
And Just shift it.

00:17:01.542 --> 00:17:15.132
It doesn't mean that she won't be present or do things, but it's that should, I think, to really answer your question, if you're feeling resentful, and if you hear you say, I should do that, I would be like, Why should you do that?

00:17:15.132 --> 00:17:16.662
And where is that coming from?

00:17:16.666 --> 00:17:17.811
And then regroup.

00:17:17.811 --> 00:17:18.342
I like that.

00:17:18.362 --> 00:17:19.412
And about the funeral thing.

00:17:19.481 --> 00:17:26.930
I am one who always feel after two weeks after a funeral, everybody forgets it happened and I'm like, That's the time you go in.

00:17:27.029 --> 00:17:31.170
You being one of 500 people, because they feel like they should be there.

00:17:31.170 --> 00:17:32.099
The right thing to do.

00:17:32.369 --> 00:17:33.299
The right thing to do.

00:17:33.299 --> 00:17:34.049
That's so funny.

00:17:34.049 --> 00:17:35.789
I, and I'm a big believer in that.

00:17:35.789 --> 00:17:45.875
I'm like, Okay, when everybody's left that person alone, that's the time that they need somebody and don't realize, they don't realize that they need somebody then because it's the aftermath.

00:17:45.900 --> 00:17:51.240
Anniversaries you can bring more to that relationship from a heart space.

00:17:51.244 --> 00:17:53.559
If you come in when you have the time.

00:17:53.582 --> 00:17:53.876
yeah.

00:17:53.876 --> 00:18:05.309
There are times when yes, it's essential and it's the right thing to do to reschedule clients and be there for those people still living as well as yourself cuz you need that.

00:18:06.325 --> 00:18:11.724
If you here should on anything, ask why do you think you should do it?

00:18:12.384 --> 00:18:20.748
And then if you regroup, maybe you think you should do it because, yeah, I've gotta get the car inspected, or I could get a ticket, then go get the car inspected.

00:18:20.748 --> 00:18:22.849
Get over it, schedule it next time.

00:18:22.849 --> 00:18:28.478
So it's done two weeks in advance instead of it taking the last day of the the month when it's due.

00:18:28.478 --> 00:18:32.147
But that's again, I think holding yourself accountable.

00:18:32.803 --> 00:18:38.893
I talk about that in my first book, where hold yourself accountable to hold others accountable.

00:18:40.393 --> 00:18:44.093
And that's easier for me to say than to do.

00:18:44.163 --> 00:18:49.292
And that accountability is really being incredibly honest with yourself.

00:18:50.563 --> 00:18:52.123
Really get honest.

00:18:52.241 --> 00:18:54.710
So you have written a book and I have the name of it right here.

00:18:54.710 --> 00:18:58.099
It is Two Dozen New Ways, A Simple Guide to Empowering Yourself.

00:18:58.099 --> 00:18:59.619
That one came out in February.

00:18:59.625 --> 00:19:03.055
The one I was just referring to came out in 2012.

00:19:03.055 --> 00:19:14.365
It's Clarity, Wisdom, Harmony and that's simple and concise tools for everyday living, and that one is really a culmination of metaphors and things that I've shared with clients over the years.

00:19:14.365 --> 00:19:17.843
And in that, I do talk about holding yourself accountable.

00:19:18.563 --> 00:19:23.512
Because oftentimes we're like, Oh, he did this or she did that, or They make me feel like this.

00:19:23.518 --> 00:19:27.173
And I'm like, No, take a check.

00:19:27.173 --> 00:19:28.353
Where's that coming from?

00:19:28.381 --> 00:19:30.121
Or I always have to do this.

00:19:30.330 --> 00:19:32.730
Do you, How'd you get here?

00:19:32.744 --> 00:19:39.962
Again, if we go back to our own accountability, I talk about unraveling the Christmas lights, I feel we have all the tools inside of us.

00:19:40.323 --> 00:19:44.012
It's just a matter of having someone that can help us find that.

00:19:44.073 --> 00:19:49.442
And sometimes we need someone to help us reflect on that and get that accountability.

00:19:49.442 --> 00:19:51.813
But like I said, easier to say than to do.

00:19:51.823 --> 00:19:52.542
Absolutely.

00:19:52.553 --> 00:20:01.334
And this is actually a topic that you do here, this idea of accountability and I was listening to a meditation from jay Shetty this morning.

00:20:01.773 --> 00:20:09.166
That was exactly what we're talking about here and that he was talking about playing the blame game and he was telling the story of two brothers that built houses.

00:20:09.166 --> 00:20:17.865
One spent months and months going through every one of this employee having a group meeting and then individual meetings and trying to blame them for the problem that was in the house.

00:20:17.869 --> 00:20:26.249
And the other brother went back to the architect, figured out what was the problem, and took care of the house, and it was done in weeks as opposed to the other person brother fired the whole team.

00:20:26.298 --> 00:20:39.130
But I like this because that's what it really accountability is it's like not allowing, even if it is somebody else's fault per se, that you don't take accountability so that you can move yourself on.

00:20:39.519 --> 00:20:42.375
Or to say, Okay, they're not the right builder.

00:20:42.815 --> 00:20:43.865
I'm gonna hire somebody else.

00:20:43.901 --> 00:20:45.296
Instead of the builder this.

00:20:45.296 --> 00:20:46.135
And the builder that.

00:20:46.135 --> 00:20:50.528
It's okay, then what do you need to do to move forward on it?

00:20:50.548 --> 00:20:52.902
I think the accountability changes too.

00:20:53.557 --> 00:21:01.145
So as one of the founding members of the Women's Business Forum many years ago, and being a part of, and I love supporting women.

00:21:01.174 --> 00:21:03.694
I love supporting anybody and making connections.

00:21:03.694 --> 00:21:10.391
I'm a people connector and I love to see people thrive and find their passion as I think we have that in common.

00:21:10.421 --> 00:21:18.444
But the truth is that you start your business and it's one thing, and then it hopefully grows and morphs and changes into things.

00:21:18.505 --> 00:21:23.778
And when that happens, to be able to step back and go is this still good for me?

00:21:23.989 --> 00:21:26.568
Have I grown bigger than I wanted to be?

00:21:26.598 --> 00:21:28.489
Years ago I brought my practice home.

00:21:29.368 --> 00:21:32.388
I started my practice in a medical facility.

00:21:32.394 --> 00:21:35.404
A doctor built me my room three medical physicians.

00:21:35.825 --> 00:21:39.337
And I reached a point in my career where I was really busy.

00:21:39.938 --> 00:21:47.748
My kids were a point in their life where they were playing soccer and traveling, and I was burning the candle at both ends and I had to accountability.

00:21:47.748 --> 00:21:48.708
And I was like, You know what?

00:21:49.307 --> 00:21:50.327
Something's gotta give.

00:21:51.107 --> 00:21:53.627
And I brought my practice home.

00:21:54.198 --> 00:21:56.087
So I had less overhead.

00:21:56.478 --> 00:22:01.518
I could do less clients and still work and then be at my kids' games.

00:22:01.518 --> 00:22:06.180
And that only lasted so many years, and then we were onto a new phase.

00:22:06.180 --> 00:22:08.309
But again, it's always changing.

00:22:08.309 --> 00:22:08.829
I think.

00:22:08.855 --> 00:22:09.260
I agree.

00:22:09.260 --> 00:22:17.171
And I think and you can correct me, I think that this the idea of accountability actually empowers us to be accountable as opposed waiting on somebody else.

00:22:17.192 --> 00:22:17.882
That's the big thing.

00:22:18.061 --> 00:22:25.231
And that's what I've learned about being accountable is if I'm accountable, I don't have to wait on you to do whatever you're doing.

00:22:26.281 --> 00:22:30.102
And I can choose whether I wanna work all weekend so I can have Wednesday off.

00:22:30.152 --> 00:22:38.185
Somebody said years ago we go into business for ourselves so we can work a 60 to an 80 hour week But we can if we want to, and we're passionate about it.

00:22:38.185 --> 00:22:40.796
A friend of mine told me, I forget, we were in this situation.

00:22:40.813 --> 00:22:44.262
Somebody needed something from him and they needed it last minute.

00:22:44.772 --> 00:22:45.942
And he was like, No.

00:22:46.002 --> 00:22:47.786
And I was like but It was service thing.

00:22:47.786 --> 00:22:50.244
And he said Their emergency is not my issue.

00:22:51.775 --> 00:22:53.755
And I'm like, Huh?

00:22:54.275 --> 00:22:55.625
I was shocked.

00:22:55.761 --> 00:23:00.390
He's said I'm not gonna not do it, but that doesn't mean I have to drop everything to do it.

00:23:00.422 --> 00:23:05.790
And I think that there's accountability in that, and I like how you say that, like accountability.

00:23:06.536 --> 00:23:20.270
I also mention, when we're in different, whatever our field is if you don't let people know what it takes to do what you do, they can sometimes, because you're so good at it, they'll be like, Oh, I need x, Y by tomorrow.

00:23:20.276 --> 00:23:21.290
And they have no idea.

00:23:21.340 --> 00:23:23.381
Cuz you make it look smooth.

00:23:23.401 --> 00:23:27.482
You are making it look like it's so easy because it is easier for you.

00:23:27.482 --> 00:23:28.904
That's why we hired you.

00:23:28.904 --> 00:23:34.167
But they don't know what's behind the scenes unless you share what goes into it.

00:23:34.468 --> 00:23:36.807
And that to me also as accountability.

00:23:36.813 --> 00:23:39.208
It's like letting people know.

00:23:39.268 --> 00:23:48.344
I, for instance, I will work people into the best that I can, but I like to have a certain space in between to regroup so that I'm fully present.

00:23:48.854 --> 00:23:54.534
I don't drink a lot of alcohol, but if I know I'm gonna have clients, I will not have a drink the night before.

00:23:54.604 --> 00:23:59.128
because I want to be as clean and clear as I can be for the clients I work with.

00:23:59.638 --> 00:24:00.598
So it's.

00:24:01.019 --> 00:24:15.314
That's just something I do that not only is about taking care of me, but it's taking care of my clients and recognizing what do you need that takes care of you, and setting those expectations for the client that they know.

00:24:16.193 --> 00:24:18.824
What they can and cannot, you're setting that up.

00:24:18.824 --> 00:24:23.054
If you jump through their hoop every time they call you, they're gonna call you again.

00:24:23.054 --> 00:24:23.614
Why not?

00:24:23.653 --> 00:24:26.449
If somebody would clean my windows, I'd never get the windex out.

00:24:26.634 --> 00:24:30.009
I don't like to clean windows, so if you'll jump through the hoop for me.

00:24:30.398 --> 00:24:37.743
I'm gonna keep calling you, but if you let me know, listen, I can do that this time, but in the future I need four days notice for this.

00:24:37.787 --> 00:24:46.018
And if you let me know that you did me a favor and you're willing to do that, then the next time I pull this in a 24 hour period say I can do it.

00:24:46.022 --> 00:24:47.228
I told you I need four days.

00:24:47.228 --> 00:24:50.747
But that's you holding that boundary we're talking about.

00:24:51.692 --> 00:24:57.061
I can't remember when I started to do it, but I realized that the first thing in my proposals is my hours.

00:24:57.692 --> 00:24:58.291
There you go.

00:24:58.291 --> 00:25:02.376
And at first it was uncomfortable and now this is how you can reach me.

00:25:02.376 --> 00:25:10.718
This is when you can reach me And the other thing too is because for a long time I had in my agency, so I would do people's social media and I was like, there's no social media emergency.

00:25:10.718 --> 00:25:11.498
I promise you.

00:25:11.498 --> 00:25:12.907
I know you think there is one.

00:25:13.147 --> 00:25:14.018
There really isn't.

00:25:14.018 --> 00:25:15.607
It's 10 o'clock on a Saturday.

00:25:15.847 --> 00:25:16.837
Never gonna happen.

00:25:17.087 --> 00:25:21.759
And so that's the thing you start to realize to set those boundaries.

00:25:21.759 --> 00:25:24.788
And I'm really great with that I don't answer emails on weekends.

00:25:24.838 --> 00:25:34.487
But it took me going Oh my gosh I don't wanna be at the game with my son and get a work call and go into what I think is panic for me.

00:25:34.886 --> 00:25:41.832
So if I just set the boundary, then I don't do it, and there's no expectation on that side, which is good.

00:25:42.071 --> 00:25:44.561
You're also gonna give me a better product, right?

00:25:44.592 --> 00:25:50.048
If you're not at your kid's game on the sideline, it's like saying that I'm important to you.

00:25:50.247 --> 00:25:54.134
I'm fully focused and I'm not gonna divide that time.

00:25:54.134 --> 00:25:58.273
And the only one who could do that again, goes back to that accountability is yourself.

00:25:58.284 --> 00:25:59.243
What can you do?

00:26:00.489 --> 00:26:05.138
So I can't believe we're almost out of time, but that does lead me to this question, especially for female entrepreneurs.

00:26:05.138 --> 00:26:08.618
What's a good first practical step for them to step into that?

00:26:08.618 --> 00:26:12.307
Because talking accountability in today's terms, it's also boundaries.

00:26:12.307 --> 00:26:22.390
I know that's a big word that we use, but how does somebody who doesn't do that well, especially if they're newer in business, or even some people I've met who have been in business for a while, they don't do that well.

00:26:22.390 --> 00:26:31.779
So what's a good first step for them to be like because there's an uncomfortable, I know, at least for me, the first time I started to do that, it was uncomfortable.

00:26:32.019 --> 00:26:36.423
So how do you get past that uncomfortable and first step to do it?

00:26:37.188 --> 00:26:40.123
I think the first one is to write it down.

00:26:40.123 --> 00:26:42.462
To print it out, put it in print.

00:26:42.462 --> 00:26:47.587
Sometimes it's easier for people to do than it is to verbally look someone in the eye.

00:26:47.643 --> 00:26:52.093
So put it in print, like you said, it's right at the top of your contract or whatever.

00:26:52.093 --> 00:26:56.250
I never like the 24 hour notice cancellation or I'm gonna charge you.

00:26:56.317 --> 00:26:56.798
I now.

00:26:57.272 --> 00:27:04.864
I had someone who abused the privilege, and so I rarely ever use it, but it's in print in case I need it.

00:27:05.523 --> 00:27:09.172
Because I had somebody who would cancel on, Mondays to go play golf.

00:27:09.172 --> 00:27:11.392
And I was like, Yeah, no, that's not gonna happen anymore.

00:27:11.471 --> 00:27:13.571
Or have someone else do it for you.

00:27:13.636 --> 00:27:19.689
If you're not good at terminating a client, hire someone to terminate'em for you.

00:27:19.732 --> 00:27:22.934
Call somebody and say, I need to hire you for one phone call.

00:27:23.144 --> 00:27:28.605
Can you get ahold of X, Y, Z and tell them, we're not a fit.

00:27:28.621 --> 00:27:30.153
I can't meet their needs.

00:27:30.403 --> 00:27:36.388
They need something that I'm able to do 10 o'clock, on a Saturday at my kid's game.

00:27:36.458 --> 00:27:44.906
So you have the possibility of hiring someone who is good at it, write it down, practice it, practice in the mirror, and just know it's gonna be uncomfortable.

00:27:44.906 --> 00:27:49.616
But after a while, like you said in the beginning, it was like, Oh, I don't know if this is okay.

00:27:50.136 --> 00:27:53.854
Someone said this years ago, you made it in business when you can fire your first client.

00:27:53.923 --> 00:28:00.493
So when you get to the place, and it's not so much about firing, but it's knowing that you're not a fit is a gentler way that I would talk about it.

00:28:00.523 --> 00:28:15.134
My training, we were taught to be able to handle anything that came in the door, and that meant if someone came in with something that was out of my skill set, that I had the ability to say, I'm not a fit for you.

00:28:15.134 --> 00:28:17.763
There's somebody out there with the skill set.

00:28:17.824 --> 00:28:23.278
There are certain things that I am not the best person for it, but I could help you find that.

00:28:23.308 --> 00:28:26.888
that's not my expertise.

00:28:26.888 --> 00:28:30.832
And to be able to know that about yourself and okay.

00:28:30.836 --> 00:28:38.001
Enough to say no, that is more of a gift to somebody than to try to help them.

00:28:38.001 --> 00:28:41.491
When you don't have that skillset, you're not doing them a favor.

00:28:42.961 --> 00:28:45.031
That is so true.

00:28:45.511 --> 00:28:50.047
I think that's one of the hardest things, especially in the beginning, they want to put their best foot forward.

00:28:50.047 --> 00:28:53.375
And when you take clients, because and sometimes it's a money factor, right?

00:28:53.381 --> 00:29:00.486
Like they go, I'll take the client anyway knowing they know, we know, every person knows and we go into a business deal.

00:29:00.486 --> 00:29:05.364
There's like very rare that we don't in instinctually know this is a bad idea.

00:29:05.574 --> 00:29:08.213
And then when it doesn't work out, it's not good for them.

00:29:08.213 --> 00:29:09.443
It's not good for you.

00:29:09.512 --> 00:29:17.788
And it's so funny because when I had my agency for a long time, I used to get potential client phone calls of I hate marketers but again, it's because of what you're talking about.

00:29:17.792 --> 00:29:21.950
Because people, they were already locked up with people who weren't a good fit.

00:29:22.023 --> 00:29:32.776
that didn't mean I was a good fit for them either, but it goes back to that should I should take this person as a client, I shouldn't walk away from the money, you and it just becomes this cycle instead of going, it'll be okay.

00:29:32.780 --> 00:29:33.885
And the better client's coming.

00:29:34.365 --> 00:29:40.516
That's why I offer, for me personally, I've just decided I offer a 15 minute interview talk.

00:29:40.516 --> 00:29:41.445
Check me out.

00:29:41.445 --> 00:29:43.843
How many cars did you drive before you bought a car?

00:29:43.843 --> 00:29:46.854
Don't just sign on ask me some questions.

00:29:46.858 --> 00:29:48.479
I'm gonna ask you questions.

00:29:48.808 --> 00:29:53.909
I need to know whether I'm comfortable working with whatever your needs are.

00:29:53.909 --> 00:29:55.769
Nobody comes to me for a massage anymore.

00:29:55.769 --> 00:30:00.628
I don't even offer'em anymore because that's not what I'm here to do.

00:30:00.868 --> 00:30:08.608
And it's I, You can do better with somebody else with that, and I will pass them on, or I will say, no, I don't offer that.

00:30:08.878 --> 00:30:16.108
Getting really clear about what your strengths are and your weaknesses, we can't all be good at everything, right?

00:30:16.108 --> 00:30:19.384
So go with your, Offer to the people who need it.

00:30:19.413 --> 00:30:23.044
That's, for me, has changed throughout my career as well.

00:30:23.044 --> 00:30:25.594
It's not the same thing it was years ago.

00:30:25.624 --> 00:30:34.471
It is definitely changed as we go along, but just being incredibly honest, as honest as we can with ourselves.

00:30:34.471 --> 00:30:38.646
What is it that I can really offer, and I'm not good with sprained ankles anymore.

00:30:38.670 --> 00:30:41.481
Because I'm supposed to be helping with other things.

00:30:41.481 --> 00:30:47.223
But that opportunity to ask questions and I tell people when they call me, I'm like, Listen to that voice inside of you.

00:30:47.223 --> 00:30:51.183
You may really need and want what I do, but you need a man.

00:30:52.398 --> 00:31:00.118
My voice grates on you, or no, that's just too out there for me, but I think this would be good for me.

00:31:00.148 --> 00:31:07.499
Then I've done my job and you owe me nothing because that opens me up for the next person who does need me.

00:31:07.499 --> 00:31:12.959
I'm not using my time helping someone that isn't gonna get them where they need to go along the way.

00:31:13.439 --> 00:31:15.950
So it's that listening to that inner voice and a lot of.

00:31:16.634 --> 00:31:19.334
People don't schedule with me right away, and now I'm fine with that.

00:31:19.364 --> 00:31:25.213
Even after the first session, I typically say, Go home, or they're at home, or whatever.

00:31:25.213 --> 00:31:27.193
Give it 24, 48 hours.

00:31:27.554 --> 00:31:29.294
See if this is right for you.

00:31:29.294 --> 00:31:31.453
You'll know if and when you wanna work again.

00:31:31.453 --> 00:31:36.104
And just really trust in that is it congruent for me.

00:31:36.614 --> 00:31:39.048
And that to me is the same with type of work.

00:31:39.050 --> 00:31:41.181

Cheyenne Mease

Author

Her success rests on a triad of innate calling, in-depth study, and real world experience. A sought after practitioner for over 30 years, her profound energetic awareness and down-to-earth, synergistic approach defies an ordinary label. Friends call her their “The Get er done girl,” clients consider her their Inspirationalist.
Cheyenne awoke to her calling very early in life. Her mission has always been helping people help themselves. To that end, she has undertaken years of ongoing study and training in a broad spectrum of disciplines including counseling, wellness, mysticism, and philosophy.
Her formal education includes intensive lectures by the14th Dalai Lama that touched her soul, spiritual mentoring by three of the International Council of Thirteen Indigenous Grandmothers, validating the work she is here to do, as well as extensive training with the Princeton Family Center, the American Polarity Therapy Association, the Spring Forest Healing Center, and the Network of Victim Assistance. In addition to that vast knowledge, she brings a profound capacity for empathy and intuition to every client in insightful, actionable ways.
Based in her home on a working farm in eastern Pennsylvania, this plainspoken grandmother is referred by medical practitioners, and called upon directly by individuals in need of support, guidance, and empowerment during difficult times. She serves both remote and local clients.

Cheyenne Mease - How to Avoid Burnout

Listen On

Featured Episodes

work Episodes

Recent Episodes

Pay Equity Episodes

Work Life Balance Episodes

Invisible Illness Episodes

Self-Worth Episodes

Prioritizing Self-Care Episodes

I Can Attitude Episodes

Money Mindset Episodes

EFT Episodes

Browse episodes by category